You have no idea
How much
Those little things
Mean to me.
A brief touch
On my forearm,
Brushing my hair
Off my face,
Starting conversations,
Adding an 'x' to your
Already wonderful words,
Nudging my leg with yours,
Putting your glasses on me,
Saying I made your day.
Sure the hugging
And the kissing
Are great.
Fantastic even.
But it's the little things
That mean so much to me.
It's the little things
That make me love you.

I'm not okay... But it's okay

Because when I put that blunt to my lips I'm okay

And when I put that blade to my wrist I'm okay

who paved the way that we feign?
we face the days and smile in pain
please take away this stain retained
we need to break these chains we claim
facing a hell in heaven's name
let us stay within a grace maintained
we know we won't face this pain in vain
we put our faith in a weightless reign

constricted by an ophidian
i slither away, just to live
is this where new life begins?
is this where i shed my skin?

bitten by fangs of chagrin
where to win is to never forgive
hiss with this abyss within
i'm living in a pit of sin

with my vision wearing thin
venom is a gift to give
i slip beneath the rocks again
this is where i shed my skin

Day 1: I want to tear my skin off. My heart is beating so fast i can barley breathe. I feel so filthy.
Day 2: I can't believe this. I don't want to be here. Why did this happen? Why did I let this happen?
Day 5: I guess I drank too much and my friends were to drunk to stop me.
Day 10: I can't face my friends, I can't live my life.
Week 3: No one knows. He hasn't said a word.
Week 6: It happened again, I was sleeping and he did it again. Why did I stay the night? Why didn't I go straight home?
Week 7: He left and kissed me goodbye. I don't know how to feel.
Week 10: My life's out of control, I can't believe whats happening.
Month 5: My boyfriend knows. But not all details. Just thinking about it, makes me want to take a shower.
Month 8: I finally came clean to my friends. They're appalled. They hate him now. I still feel filthy. I can't get his smell off my body still.
Month 11: The anniversary is soon. What am I going to do?
Year 1: I haven't spoken to him in months. I haven't thought about it in days. I still feel as if hes on top of me, why can't I wash him away?

Its an uphill battle with myself and others. Some days I can't get out of bed or even feel like breathing.
But I try not to let him get to me. Because if he sees my weakness from what hes done,
He's won.