Bird Motel
never to settle
only a stop
on a journey

I hope you enjoy your stay

Suddenly, the world went numb. All the pain, the worry, the apathy, the carefulness; it all went away. There was no sound, no hum, no white noise. The light stopped flickering; the curtains stopped dancing with the breeze blowing through the window. All I felt were your hands.
Slowly and softly making their way down my shoulders, tracing my skin like fingers exploiting a map. Gently feeling the goose-bumps form along the surface of my arms, and gently intertwining your fingers with mine.
I could have closed my eyes. I could have convinced myself that your love for me ran deeper than this. The truth is, this was the foreplay before the passionate goodbye. This was you staining your pigment onto my skin.

“Stop. This can’t be your goodbye. You can’t leave me like this”

You stopped. You looked into my eyes; the same eyes I looked into so many times before. As though you had it all planned out, you brushed my shoulders with your lips and whispered in a way that still forms goose bumps along my thighs;

“I have been looking for ways to show you I love you.
Now all I can do is leave”

My thighs frame your cheeks,
Tambourine tantrum in the sheets.

I still remember the day you stopped loving me

I woke up to open windows, rain spilling onto the window sill.

I wish it didn't end like this

but its still raining

and I'm still wrapped in these sheets

waiting for myself to drown.

I’ve learned to be playful
so
playful
I would be as playful with you
as the dancing sounds
these words make as they
drop
drop
drop
from my mouth
to this paper thin, glass sheet of cadence
Sometimes they stick
flattened out like
g     u      m
trod on by years of
cheap dress shoes
marching the weary feet they house
into another cut-out day
in the same square building
Sometimes they bounce
tink
tink
tink
across the surface
creating their own beauty
seemingly without need for my pen

I’ve learned to be gentle
so
gentle
I would be as gentle with you
as the soft brush
of what is written
against what is meant
So carefully touching
that only tangent we come
one point being
all I need

I’ve learned to be nurturing
so
nurturing
I would be as nurturing with you
as the warm, damp soil
to the seed
as the sharp, prepared mind
to the idea
Giving structure
setting tones
I could be the time
in which you bloom
again
Just for this springtime
I will be springtime

Watch anger crash, crash, crash
into the steady banks of calm
an immovable object
plagued by an unstoppable force

like the waves of an ocean
buffeting the walls of a castle
If given eternity, the walls will fall
the rash, the hateful, the angry will win

However, we are but humans
so you are welcome to crash
your wrath
into my walls
until you die