She spent every day under the cypress tree
Listening to the ocean in all its glory
The people passing in all their hurry
The birds singing in all their harmony

She spent every day beside the ocean
Wondering why she feels so broken
Wishing she could remain there, frozen
Silently wasting away, regretting the paths that she had chosen

She spent hours upon hours with her feet dangling off the cliff
Convincing herself that if she fell she would never be missed
Believing happiness was just a jump away, a dive into the mist
Hours until sunset then she was inclined to resist

Tomorrow is just the same, I shall watch her debate
Watching her from a distance, implicitly afraid
Admiring the same soul that she chooses to hate
I watch her and I wait, day after day.

For the first time in my life I'm writing to my friends. Or maybe it's for my friends.
Because I never thought things would end like this. I never thought things would even end.

They've been here for years and they'll be here for more, I thought.
But all that was lost when they saw my life as a battle to be fought.

I've never been good with spoken words but I've never been silent with my writings.
So I'm speaking and shouting and yelling about how I never knew things were ending.

Tell me things. Anything. Please. I'm so lost at what to do. Specially here and now that I don't have any one of you.

I know it's not good, you could say unhealthy, even. But I've grown so used to all of you, you were my safest haven.

But I know I lost it. And I know that you see it.
But help me out and tell me why you saw my friendship and decided to drop and leave it.

So this is my sorry. And my thank you. And my fare well.
I know you are all better without me but i won't be better without you, and I hope you can never tell.

Break me down to battered bones
Then stake me through my shattered heart
No wounds you could inflict are worse
Than ways I've torn myself apart

From sleeping with my restless guilt
Awoken by regret
To wasting memories away
Whilst drinking to forget

Then fragmenting my sanity
To diamond shards of pain
So come and take a stab at it
I've tried before in vain

Eviscerate my rotten guts
I've spilt them more profuse  
Asphyxiate my toxic breath
I'd help you tie the noose

Bury me alive with not
But shame and solitude
Spit upon my unmarked grave
I would not deem it rude

For in this dying world I bore
The weight of all enslaved
Yet wore Grim's cloak of darkness as
I reaped the ones I craved

No angels reached my Heaven's heights
No demons breached my Hell
Both gates remained forever locked
Inside my mortal shell

Imprisoned in Pandora's box
No deities designed
No creator gods explained
The chaos of my mind

Just made me to discover how
To understate depression
With all the words I write to you
As overkill confession

A breath of spring
Upon a winter's day
Pastel colors whispering
              
                   stay

A hint of smile
Upon her lips
Greeted warmly with a

                   kiss

Winter's cold
Cannot intrude
It is spring inside this blossoming

                    *prelude