I am a ruiner,
As I gasp for breath,
Heaving my lungs
Desperatly trying to pull upwards
I latch onto you,
Everyone close to me,
Trying just to get to air,
And instead,
I drown you with me
And I'm sorry
But I'm not an Angel
I'm not even lovable,
All I ever do is hurt,
And break,
And ruin.

To the daughters who were born without a safe haven

To the mothers who baptized their daughters not in holy water
but in their heartache

To the daughter who raised her mother first
then herself

To the mother who thought being a mother would save her
to the daughter who taught her mother through her existence alone she could never make her whole

to the daughters who tried to make her whole anyway

to the mothers and daughters who resent each other and
don't know why

To the daughter who struggles to decide
between pleasing her mother
and pleasing herself

to the daughter who finally learns what it feels like
to choose herself
to the mother that does the same

to the mothers and daughters who run from unconditional love because they've never known the feeling

may you find peace
forgiveness
for yourself and for her
patience
resilience
acceptance

red leaves,
hollows of water
and sun,
bright reflections,
the day drifts
opens the afternoon
like a love letter
softer for its layers
of bronze.

The wind whispered to the trees
Who sent messages in fallen leaves

The bluebell rang out the alarm
And the rabbits burrowed out of harm

The birds carried the message on a wing
Then the forest fell asleep until the spring