but you got that golden ticket at the back of your head
you got that eyes that wonder around the world
and I'm left with nothing but an empty state

I'm wired to not pull the trigger but to anchor and drown.
The deep blue ocean where it holds all the pain and sorrow.
Swept by the currents and waves and to be lost within it.
I never wanted this.

Truth was, this kills me as much as it kills you.
It jabbed right through me, deeper than your wound.
It felt like the world was against me and I can't breathe.

I can't escape.

In a well lit room...
slowly dancing,
heart burning,
mind racing:

"when there's a smoke, there's fire but I'm such a good liar"

The arsonist kept its distance, carving its fuel in silence.
But it wasn't enough to ignite a spark, yet it burned the diamonds.
No ashes but to combust, consumed by the hour: lost in a timeless horizon.

she's quirkily odd and yet, mysteriously intriguing.
you're the sun and the moon,
the truth and the lie,
the devil and the angel I can't despise.

.
.
.
foolish soul, how did I ended up falling for you?
I'm a fool for not being able to move on quickly from you,
instead, I fall deeper and faster.
it's a trap.
I need to escape.

I'm tired of swiping left and right
When all I really want is you
But we've matched and
We've chatted
And we watched the flame
Went down
From a distance
Where we couldn't
See us anymore

from ashes to ashes, I carried myself in return for a sense.
from the demon of my broken youth, I thought I could teach the timekeeper to fence.
from my heartache that lingers, I slowly losing my own defence.

the golden child will pull the trigger
the golden child will pull the anchor
the golden child will pull the dagger

pass my youth, I kept myself under the radar.
but it didn't stop me from being filled with wonder.
unfortunately, it had to stop ever since the blunder.

thunderstorm.

it's too late anyway.

hands all over you before me before us before this
it's just an unplanned demand, charting all over my card
burning desire, I'm burning with my desire

I was already a poet by predilection, you took a penchant for my chanting words
how can you say that when I'm still under the shadows?
without lips and guttered lungs - I'm just a hopeless snow

(I'm melting - demanding)

I know without colours you could still feel the heat
shallow of me to think you need the torch to find me in the dark
but I've been trying to picture you in my head,
don't you want to draw me too?

for all eternity: all I wanted was just to breathe the chlorinated mind that I closed to peak.

a moment of silence,
pilot take control - don’t let it flood the mission control
scars that never fades has resurfaced back, into my mouth it stale
I’ll regret it when I wake up,
when I’m sober, away from this chaotic mess
But what can I do?
Everything been fuelling up the fire lately
and I couldn’t breath

putting away my silent mask,
pulling away my oxygen tank,
my heart beat won't slow down,
my pulse stopped when I saw….

it's alright, you're out of my sight anyway,
I'm alright, sitting in a plane to Neverland,
it's alright, yes it's alright

cause she got those trusting lips,
and she got those thrusting hips,
I'm left out with a flat empty feeling,
but it's alright, yes it's alright

you know you scored so **** well,
yet I'm struggling with a basic plan,
but it's alright, cause you're just an imitation
of a mind game, that I tried so hard to re-create

so it's alright.

but I can't carve the music that impend my arrival;
I'm swaying with the rhythmic of the bloodstream in my vein;
I'm merely a suggestion, not strong enough to ignite the sparks,
not a fireworks that bleed for beautiful thoughts at night.

Kisses like snowflakes, it burns my defenseless tongue - like a winterstorm in July, almost impossible to exist - yet missed dearly.
Traces of your figure, it framed onto my sight - like an oil canvas painted by the devil's grimace: full of love, full of lust - neither it set foot on heaven or hell.
Ocean like hellfire, it separate two souls, lost in a fictive romance - to ace, to aid, to....

I'm anything but romantic,
Everything but chaotic,
Fear the taste of your lips,
But craves the sense of your hips.

it's like halving the compass, but you're sailing to the east.
**** do i know how to read the map, but be ****** if i say i won't look at the stars.
structures that fractured, it ruptured - erupted: corrupted lungs, how did we get here?
but it's just a dart in the heart, a fire that burns - when we collide we won't burst into fears:
it's like i'm voluntarily descending into a masquerade.

(and you're voluntarily watching me -as a crowd- in act)

a written memoir of how love once lived,
it's funny: it was never alive, to begin with.
it was nothing but merely a suggestion,
implode within the idea of a happy tale.

see, that's the thing.

too much ego,
does not echo,
yet to be let go.

******* it, why can't I let go?

It's an ecstasy.

Something that you can't live without,
something that you keep craving for,
something that you keep wanting more.

It's more than a fire, like a hypernova inside of me:
reaching every inch of me, locking my thought, my conscious, my movement….

You're the drug that keeps me awake, sedation that puts me to sleep.
You're the ocean that I'm drowning into, the oxygen that I needed.
You're are the light in my midnight sky.
It's you.

But when I look around, all I see is this haze that slowly suffocating me.
When I turn around, all I can see is you.
The little hope in me grew a little every time I see you.
But when I look around, every things suddenly sinks.

You.
Drugged me into this chaotic world.
I.
Fell so hard for you, it's getting hard to breathe.

It's you.