I ask of you,
Forgiveness beyond any other
For as I stand,
Oppon this broken earth
I fear of my past
Of my present
And the future I throw away
For I have sinned
Red stains my hands
‘Defence is justified’
But is it really?
Yes, he sinned first,
But do I truly have the right?
To take one's life?
‘An eye for an eye’
A life for a life
But mine is unfit
*****...
Sick...
It does not hold value
In this broken world
Where little light escapes
So I ask you,
As I take the step
Am I worthy of forgiveness?
I took a life,
In order to keep a choice
A choice I would of saved for my one and only.
But does that choice mean as much as a life?
Yes I was scared
Yes I was attacked.
Yes he sinned first
But my crime weighs more
So I ask for you to listen
And forgive.
Not of me.
But of him.
For I have taken a choice from him.
As he was going to do of me.
But as he was going to take a choice of body.
I took his choice of life.
I am filthy
Tainted
I do not deserve your presence
But please.
As I give my choice of life
In place of his
To forgive him.
For he was lost
And alone.
Like we were  once
So as I take the step into the air
I thank you
For listening
And I hope
That one day
One will do the same for you
As you have done for me
So Thank You.

A man who cannot dream
is a man without a woman,
like someone thinking of a tractor,
the loss of a limb, the bequest
of a brass bed, a rundown plantation,
a large white house with a black
dinner bell but no supper,
a wayfarer going nowhere,
a vanished explorer
sometimes lost in his own room.

Deeper I fall
Down this well
With no water.
Darkness takes my hand
And fear kisses my lips.
Take my eyes,
I was blinded by sight.
Guile was not a coat I wore,
But innocence keeps
None warm.
I reach for one moment
Any moment.
Sanity is fleeting.

The funny thing is it wasn't always this way
As if he was forced from his bed
Kicked out by the thing he craves.
Reason tells him it's okay
That it's all in his head
And that she is lying there safe.

But try telling that to his heart
Convinced of its own reality
with each beat in his shirt
Drenched in a cold hyperbole.

So he'll trade his sleep away
To take up the night watch
As if he can offer an ounce of assurance
In hopes of keeping his dream
from becoming
A nightmare.

So many thoughts feelings expressions emotions
locked behind deadpan eyes and a voice that's toneless.
A mountain of a person consolidated to this form.
A body unimpressive.
A face unexpressive.
The chaos upstairs requires all of my attention.

Conversing takes a back-seat which is why I seem distant.
Too many things to say only leaves me in silence.
I don't know how or where to begin.
If only I could let you inside to weather the storm
maybe you could make sense of this nonsense and bring me to port.

Today is the day
I stop worrying.
Today is the day
I win.
Today is the day
I love myself.
Today is the day
I...
*Keep telling myself lies.

Finding inner peace
   is like
Searching for a cat
   in a
      Hurricane