You had hurt me,
To the point where you were dead to me.
I went days, weeks, months, even,
Not thinking of you,
Until that god-awful day.
When I saw you again,
It was like seeing a ghost:
Fear filled me,
Then sorrow.
I wondered if you knew,
Just how much pain you’ve caused me.
I wondered if you were sorry about the whole thing:
The consant upsets,
The crying,
Ignoring me,
Repeating the same old routine.
You’re dead to me, still,
I just wish you’d stop haunting me.

You sleep while I lose my inner essence.
They say that heart break results in the severing
of heart strings
I will always picture the night with my fingers
in your hair
tangled in the mess of black lilies and curly lilacs.
With your hands around my neck
I screamed I am happy.
And with a knife in my back,
I begged for you to stay.
I have multiple bruises darkening
the shine in my eyes.
After that night I feel as if I have died.
I mean, I might as well have.
I've been walking around with a veil of tears
stained to my cheeks.
And I wonder when it won't feel
as if one million bumble bees are
stinging my organs.
And if this vertigo is never ending.  
For I think of after midnight in your car
and I remember I can't even feel okay
in my own room any longer.
I've lost the one who watered my garden
and made the daisies grow.
I swore I would never return again.
So I wear the glasses of another
and pray to God that I'm not still breathing.
I have begun to hate myself.
Because
"You drove him away"
And as ice freezes my throat
I feel nothing but pain.
I'm belly up in a scene of destruction.
And I will never love another.
For I have lost my starry night,
and Van Gogh could cut me to pieces
if it meant I would be with you in my dreams.