I'm tired of this face of mine
I think I'll have to change it
I'll plump my lips, slim my chin
Debag my eyes and smooth my skin.
My ears are fine but what the heck
I'll pin them back then check my neck
It looks a little loose and slack
I'll have it nipped and tucked right back.
Then I will peruse my chest
It's not too bad but not its best.
I think that I might see a surgeon
Go up a cup size watch it burgeon.
And then of course there is my waist
Once so shapely, perfectly placed
Now its wider with more fat
Never mind I'll fix that.
I'll give up wine and cigarettes
I'll join a gym and work up sweats.
My legs need shaved, toenails need cut
Then that's me done from head to foot
But you know its just a fable
I'll lay my cards out on the table
I may be tired of the same old me
But why change now? I'm ninety three

The throbbing headache and nausea
I can endure; I've had worse.
Right now I could cry,
such a raw hope consumed me
as I thought about you, desperate.
It was still dark for me then,
when I needed you. Now it's day.
It brings a true smirk to my face
to know you are nothing more
than a night of binge drinking:
a foolish part of my youth,
a consequence of boredom.
I could not hold your liquor,
I vomited all that bile you said to me
in the hedges outside. Don't fret,
this is not a bad memory, in fact
you might never be a memory at all.
I am well. I will drink better and
far more dangerous poisons.
I am today, you are only last night.

they say it won't matter in a month, a year, maybe ten
but what happens if it does
what happens if a year later my heart still aches at the sound of your name
then what

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

The poet lives two lives.
One on the outside,
And one in their mind.

When you look in their eyes
You could see an abyss.

If you looked long enough
You could sink into it.

But most people don’t see it.

Take the time to read the words, though,
And you would know for sure.

The poet lives in two different worlds.