̶N̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶̶n̶u̶m̶b ̶m̶y̶ ̶p̶a̶i̶n̶.

Or maybe I don’t need someone
Maybe I just need myself
to keep my head above water
to keep my healthy mind.
I write clichés
But that’s how I feel
Does this happen to many people?
Why then do I feel so alone?
Maybe I’m as equal to all
Thinking that my problems are greater than all.
I am a dramatic girl.
Yes, I am.
Maybe I need help
But I do not want help
Maybe I am depressed
but I do not want to be depressive
maybe my sanity has gone
before I finish this poem
Yes, she’s gone
yes, in the second line.

Canyons of deep purple
Echoing with silent cries
So much grief, so much hardship
Hidden beneath happy eyes

It's a muted colour, often unnoticed
Bold colours are so much nicer and easier to see
Beautiful and happy
Life filled and free

Its the undertones that build up the bright
Mould the landscapes
The mountains and vallies of who we are
It's there swirling brushstrokes that outline our shape

Though they are layered over
With the thick oil paint smiles
They are still real, still raw
The base coat for all life trials

This is not about ***
There will be no
******* *****
Any flesh
That you read
Shall not be nibbled
On by me
Any mentions
Of flower traps
Petals filled with
Sweet cream sap
Curves or crevasses
Such lustful lines
I refuse to burn
By your design

You **** thing
Such beauty I seek
But I won't
Be made
Into a freak!!
...

I saw an old blue jay today
unashamed of his baldness.
His beautiful crown reduced
to wispy sprouts of gray,
every which way
like a patient after chemo.

Beauty cannot exist
without suffering

I saw our rabbit’s kits yesterday,
they looked like little piglets
nestled in her nest of fur and hay,
plump and tender bodies,
tempting feasts for
creatures of the night.

Peace cannot exist
without fear

I saw a hummingbird this morning
and heard her vibrating chirp.
Cautious yet eager she
bobbed and dipped for sustenance
a thousand miles from home
like a prisoner of war.

Home cannot exist
without longing

I see an orangey moon tonight
pierced across the breast by clouds,
in halves instead of whole.
A symbol of the way things are,
a broken world that
few take time to notice.

Consciousness cannot exist
without ignorance

I looked in your eyes just now
and saw love.

Sickness, disease, danger and fear,
loneliness, loss and uncertainty
is, was, and forever will be
washed away in their blue,
at least for me.

Certainty cannot exist
without love

Of this I am certain