A knock on the door
I peer out the window,
Nothing but the icy breeze
And shrivelled leaves
On a solitary frosted tree.

My stomach's a ballerina
Twirling and gliding,
I turn back around
And walk myself into my room,
I'm hiding.

I shiver as I pull the sheets
Back up on to my skin
Someone's on the streets
Calling out my name
Stinging like a pin.

I gasp for air
Feeling nauseated
My stomach's tied in knots
A failed ballerina
Eating her sadness away.

I shut my eyes
Tight with wrinkles
Forming around my sockets,
I feel someone staring
And a white noise.

I don't dare to open them up
For, I have seen death before,
Encountering the ghost of her
Would be too much pain
And I would lose myself to her.

I stay still for a while
Trying to drift away,
But these eyes remain fixated on mine
Refusing to run
Refusing to turn away.

I try so hard to forget
The day she turned blue
Hanging from the ceiling fan
No sign of pain
Her love was indeed, true.

I left her to die
Without knowing she was,
I left her to cry
When I knew I had lost,
I regret it every second of life.

As I lay motionless
I feel her touch my face,
She gently pulls my eyes open
And stares into my soul,
Oh, she's so beautiful.

I feel exuberant
With her fingers on my skin,
It's been so long
Since I felt her love
But, she doesn't even grin.

She just stares into
My empty heart,
Looking cold as ever,
Colder than the day I left her
But with a heart beat that's much warmer.

Warmer than I'd ever been,
Kinder than I'd ever seen,
She never fails
To take my breath
But this time it was strange.

She took my breath
But didn't give it back,
Until I fought for life,
I felt so desperate
To be alive.

Never had I ever
Felt so human,
Never before
Had I felt so full of life,
But what's a life full of guilt?
---------------------------------------------
She knows how it feels
To be ripped apart,
And I know how it feels
To rip her apart,
But so oblivious to what follows.
---------------------------------------------
My tears are on her hands,
But they don't seem to dry,
I try to speak
But all in vain,
For she has latched onto me.

Yet, I lie motionless
And completely still
With short breaths,
As she stills stares down my soul,
Completely emotionless.

I think that I may be addicted to you;

Because I'm hooked on those eyes that look past what everyone else sees,
and always finds the little bit of "worth it" that's left in me

And I ache for those hands that electrify my skin with each touch;
that overwhelm my every sense until it's almost too much.

I crave the familiar smell of your shirt when I lay curled up next to you,
with the surrounding peace so comforting it's almost too good to be true.

You are more dangerous than any nicotine
or any alcohol that has passed my lips
Because you always seem to return into my life,
and at least those are habits that I can quit...