the cactus stands alone. long shadows perch in the landscape.
brooding in the rust of twilight, as an autumn moon scorches indigo
lumbering over the horizon on all fours. now only five stars
in the sky ... but soon a riot of ghosts,

something looms in the loom. it has broad shoulders -
so giants may pass and kidney-stones lodge in the smoke.
there are too many lovers clipping eyes from their stalks.
and blindness is the new tongue
of a lost mouth to a cave
of Petroglyphs.

a remote species of man
eating dirt and vibrations.
a horde of monkeys with souls
damning sunshine
to a clouded
thought,

i am unknown.
however i bake
my cake
the quintessence of a fool
is His oven,
or Her
mcguffin...

so
let the heat
play Winter's Thoughts
and arrive
unspooled
before the likes
of me
and my complete
collapse.

I am redacted
from the narrative,
much like -
your reason to breathe -
lurks behind a
myst.

or a fog is a glimpse.

You

you
un-suture
the parabola
from the arch of
all Monte Cristo !
you shank the villain
as villainy is your twin.,,
we cohabit  
the one
and split the difference
the same.

from some " within ".


II

much
like thin filaments of music returning to a stream
to bow their heads in the Eucharist of a slit wrist  -
we are confluent in the chambers of our undertow
and serve such masters, a world can endure
but hardly love the triumph of the cube
over paisley cubes,

III


i almost say something all the time.

IV

all the Time,

If I run away from you
Then you can never break me

Then I will never have to be
Your almost something

If I run now I'll miss you
But I'll be less broken

I won't have these false hopes
I won't still want you

If I run right now
You won't chase me

If I ever run you won't
No one ever really does.

No, I don't always love myself,
No, I won't always,
Because I make mistakes
And I'm allowed to hate myself for them,
I'm allowed to forgive myself too,
I'm allowed to mourn for myself,
So no, I don't wake up everyday loving me,
I work really hard at it,
I tell myself to smile more days than not,
Because truth is, smiling is hard,
I may not always love myself,
But I still have the capacity to love,
To love with all of me,
Just because I struggle,
Does not mean I do not deserve happiness,
In fact I deserve it more because I struggle,
Maybe I'm not perfect,
Maybe I'm far from it,
But I have to remember,
Even if I don't feel beautiful,
Someone else out there
Might just think I am,
Someone out there might just think,
I am perfect.

I have not cut into my skin
In three long years
I didn't need to feel the pain
When I had your words
Your cruel words
Carving into my skin

In between bliss
Stood the cold heartbreak

The words that will always haunt me

The looks that will always shatter

No I do not need a knife

I have your words to slice through me.

I wonder if you watch the clouds too

If you watch them move
And change
Forming new creatures
Within their white tufts

I wonder if they hang above you
And if you look at them
And think of me

I know that every cloud
Seems to remind me of you

It covers the earth in shade
But shines brightly on nice days

You were covered in darkness
But sometimes, on good days,
You smile so brightly,
Held me so tightly,

So yes you remind me of the clouds

You remind me of so much
And so much reminds me of you.

I think I hate you
Or hate myself for loving you

How many breaths of betrayal
Did you inhale my dear

Let me **** them out
Let me ride the dark wave with you

I won't let you be alone
Won't let myself forget

Once upon a time
We were happy

We were more than roommates

We were lovers
Wild and free
Roaming the streets
Kissing at every corner

We were friends
Laughing at all our misadventures

We held each other when one
Was distraught

I craddled your body in my arms
And you craddled mine in yours

Our souls forever entwined
Forever my dear

But alas the mortal world
Has once again corrupted
What was once perfectly imperfect love

I cannot sleep without remembering
That you once laid beside me

I cannot breathe without feeling you
Your deep internal aching

That no amount of denying
Will convince me of

You were not perfect
Neither was I

But we loved
We loved

In a way no one else
Can ever make us forget.