So many thoughts flashing before my eyes,
So many ideas hovering inside my head,
Neurons and synapses reacting with lightning speed-
Fleeting moments of euphoric and neutral moments,
The subconscious is not subjugated anymore,
Taken over by the series of parallel journey of thoughts;
Never wanting to meet, but not willing to end either,
The powerful laboratory where ideas are experimented with,
Thoughts seem to travel faster than lightning speed,
Not able to grasp the roller coaster ride with upheavals;
Holding onto the norms and the usual dogmas for semblance,
But time has come for the cataclysmic events to occur,
As if to break the shackles of the mundane and the regular;
Unadulterated by the infusions from the external ideas,
The experimented thoughts have matured to a new level;
The time has come to dislodge the ages of darkness,
Where the mind thinks without the fear of being reprimanded…



© Amitav (Radiance)

Perfection is all you ask,
Staring into your reflection,
Your minds own rejection.
You lost your confidence
to embrace imperfection.
To the extent,
You exaggerate,
That life would be better,
If only;
You could appreciate,
That this is fate
And you need to accept
What is left.
Take a breath;
A step back;
Relax and realise,
Its not about
S h a p e or SIZE.
Open up your eyes,
To the beauty inside
- us all.

She closed the door
On what could have been
Wiped the floor
Of what should have been
Cleared the shelves of our memories
Washing her hands
Of the eternity
That we had both promised.
She painted the walls, and decked the halls
With her new lovers pen
Changed the locks
So I couldn't see her again.
She wrote away our history
On a little post it note
And sent it in an envelope of
Divorce papers
She called in the painters and decorators
And started anew
Put to bed
All that we'd been through
And left me dangling
By a thread
Waiting for the phone to call
For any sign at all
That this wasn't true.
Waiting for the I love yous
That had warmed even the coldest of mornings
Better than any cup of coffee ever could
Waiting for the reassuring cuddles and kisses
That had made me feel so, so good.
Waiting
For
The one person who had always caught me, to catch me
As I fell
Head first into an abyss
Of late nights and stiff drinks
That she'd spent years, pouring down sinks.
But since she's been gone
I've picked up the bottle again
And it's began to throttle the pain.
So I drink down the past and remains in whiskey drops
Until the floor lures me
I lose sight of the clocks
And hit the decks.
If I was a pirate,
I'd make a mighty good ship mate
But as it is
I'm not and I'm late for work
And wearing odd socks
A shadow of the man I used to be.
And even my shadow doesn't recognise me.

When we were younger
We'd sit and play for hours
With dolls and beads and flowers
With toy cars and train tracks
And at the end of the day
We'd pack them away and put them all back.
We'd go down by the river
And laugh and shiver
And joke about growing old
Little did we know
What was about to unfold

As we grew older, the fires inside of us, began to smoulder,
The shoulders we'd come to rely on
Started to decay
As we made our way, into the world
Suddenly the dolls came to life
As our dreams of becoming a husband, a wife
Started to sour.
The beads formed nooses around our necks
As we began to lose our innocence
To drugs and ***.
The flowers shrivelled up and died
As we sat and cried our own rivers to drown in.
And those pretty little halos and silver tin crows
That used to iron out our frowns
S
   l
      i
        p
           p
             e
               d,
as we d i p p e d our toes into adulthood.
The toy cars crashed,
As we smashed head on, in a collision with reality.
And there was so need to plead
For the box with our train track toys
Because the little girls and boys inside us
Had died long ago.

And besides
We drew our own tracks up and down our wrists
And straight through our hearts.
As we began to realise
We were running out of
Fresh starts and new beginnings.

Let’s write a poem
For the fun of it
Rhyme, combine, design
Thoughts, phrases, words
Stanzas absurd.

Let’s use alliteration
1st, 2nd, 3rd person narration
Let us not forget
Capital letters, commas and full stops
To crop,
Our faults.

Let’s write about love, loss and heartache,
Let’s make mistakes
Relationships, politics,
Let’s get lost, in this;
Wonderful world of ink and paper.

Let’s dangle emotions
Delicately of straight
Lines, text, worth
Thousands of pounds
To someone.

Let’s dribble prose across the page
Lead rhyme
Into an organised,
Coherent line

Hold hands with demands
Laced, not closed,
Of errors dispose.

Let’s write a poem
For the fun of it
Watch it age, as the pages, discolour.
But remain as beautiful, if not more so
Than it were, when first composed.

Our bodies aligned
Our legs entwined
Your hand in mine
A jigsaw puzzle,
Perfectly placed.

A haze, as I gaze into your eyes
Kisses, cuddles and laughter
We're not asking for a happily ever after
We seize the moment,
We seize the day
Holding each other, together we lay
Under your duvet
You say I'm amazing
Tho I think I'm nothing great
I appreciate your words
I say you're beautiful and
Tho you don't believe
You allow me to conceive
A compliment dressed in
Tight green ribbons
Your favourite colour.

We climb the stairs to your room
Interrupting stares between us
Exchanged glances
Our romance is, unexplainable

I fall into you,
You catch me,
We're both free falling
Others are calling,
Tho you're all I want to hear
You're all I want near.

Time always goes
too fast
when I'm with you, and
Too slow
When I'm not, in your presence.

Your heart on my sleeve,
My heart on yours,
Together we open the doors
To each others soul
Fear holds us back at times
Tho we talk, remind, reassure
That's what we're here for.

I lay my head upon your chest,
I can hear your heart racing,
My minds chasing, tho the pacing
Becomes slower.
As you pull me in tighter
I'm not usually a fighter
But this is worth fighting for.

The ground shakes,
The earth quakes
As I realise, how positively
lucky I am.
To be able to call something
So beautiful, inside and out
Mine.

This was not love making.
This was sin
and the devil victoriously
danced between the sheets.

Im falling apart,
pick a character, play your part.
Its okay darling
Im a lover of the arts.

Total dereliction of the threads,
That used to bind the two souls;
Years of neglect made it threadbare,
Initially, woven with colorful fabric;
Interwoven seamlessly to cradle a fall,
Colorful fabric got added everyday...
Hoping to make shimmering fabric of love,
Making a cosy wrap for the two;
Giving the warmth to fend off inclement weather;
It withstood the test of time.
As if it will never fail to protect,
But a twister was waiting to emerge,
The gusts of wind too much to withstand,
The two souls were already wrangling;
A tug-of-war of the differences,
Happened to weaken the fabric of love;
Till one day the twister became overpowering,
The cover was finally blown away...
Leaving the two souls bare,
The dreams blown away to faraway land,
Leaving the two souls, around all the debris.


© Amitav (Radiance)

You told me I wanted it,
But still to this day,
I don't think I've ever wanted anything less.
The feel of your hot breath
Against my *******,
Is a feeling I will never forget,
Though if wishes come true it'd be one of the few I'd chose
To lose.

You tore off my trousers
And in that instant,
You snatched away my innocence,
Like a thief in the night
And it was night,
Only thieves steel objects, not
Metaphorical representations of childhood.

This wasn't love making
This was sin,
And the devil danced in victory, between the sheets.

Tears laces my cheeks,
And dropped down my neck
And you lapped them up
In a split sec
Ond.
You trespassed all over me
With those poisoned lips
Those soiled hands
My hips didn't respond to the demands
You imposed and
I tried so desperately to close you out.

But,
You came in anyway,
Like a supermarket,
Despite the sign clearly lined to remind you
That it was out of hours.
Despite the plaque that said keep of the grass
You trampled on it anyway
And the hundred showers
I drowned myself in after
The fake smiles, the laughter
Still haven't succeeded in
Washing you out.
Of everything.
You seep through the cracks
Every night, as I hold myself tight
I have to remind myself
You're not there
You're elsewhere.
And people wonder why I struggle to sleep
My answer
I forgot how to count sheep
After the night you sliced up my dreams and threw me into relentless nightmares.

It was an uphill trek to the dilapidated fort
Reminiscent of the past glory and supremacy
A grandeur which cannot be replicated
The solid stone walls smoothed to perfection
Each stone sitting perfectly, filling the jigsaw puzzle
Taking a walk around, I come across some etched paintings
Wonder what story it narrates, or what secret it holds
I try to peer closely and see what resembles a princess
With all the swordsmen surrounding her
Maybe from the prying eyes of some obsessive suitor
Or is it that the princess was held captive by a rival?
The fort is testimonial to so many incidents
Which may have happened, clandestinely, inside its walls
It must have been attacked so many times
Also, it could have been taken over by force by the enemies
I enter the fort through its imposing entrance
The thick and heavy wooden doors, now ajar
Riveted with iron bolts, now rusted over time
The door must have been attacked and pounded with severe force
Weakened by the ravages of time and the aging wood
I enter the fort and is greeted by huge arches and a corridors
Surrounding the length and breadth of the fort
With so many chambers, that I lose count of them
Wonder, where the princess must have been kept in captivity
Or, may be kept safe from the obsessive lover, from the lower ranks
I weave my own intriguing story, unaware of the history
Once a secured monument of the glorious past
Now forlorn, it stands there in stupefying silence
With each passing day burying the cries, shrieks, laughter and conniving plots
Someday, the whole existence of this fort may be diminished to dust
For it is comeuppance of time, where, even the glorious and mighty are not spared

© Amitav (Radiance)