Home

Some people can recognize
A tree or a front yard
and know
they've made it home

The walk from the car door
To the front porch
Becomes habitual
Instead of intentional
They get lost in the
Contentment of familiarity

But what happens when you
find yourself
So adrift, so off-course
That you've worn a path in the circle you find yourself walking in

What if the place you're looking for,
Your home
Was never really home After all

But rather a false sense of security
Wrapped up
In a pretty pink ribbon
On top of the layers
Of gripping manipulation

How many circles can I walk in
Before I give up looking?
How long before I'm lost for good?

Home for me
Is not the familiar walk
To the front door
Or the yard with overgrown grass
that makes weeds look like bushes

Home is a sea of senses
Blending together in perfect harmony

Home is walking in
And seeing red
Red skillet
Red chair
And my favorite redheads

Home is the smell of
Fancy hand soap
Fresh laundry
Fragrant candles
And farty brussel sprouts

Home is the first sound you hear
A chuckle
A musical
The clearing of a throat
Our favorite tv show

Home
In a nutshell
Is freedom

Freedom to laugh
To cry
Or maybe both at the same time
To yell and to vent
Without the burden of shame
Or regret

So home
You see, is more
Than the tree
Or the porch

Those things could vanish
And leave you stranded

Home is laughter
And friendship
That won't leave you lost

It is safety and belonging
That says
“You are okay”

It is the weight of a burden being Lifted off your shoulders
Home is love

"A 5."

I'm a 5?
Is that really what I want
                    Don’t care about what they think you’re beautiful
Wow. I thought at least a 6 or a 7
But a 5?
                     You are perfect. Their opinion doesn’t define you.
I should do it again.
                     No. Please. You know how bad for you that is.
I’m going to do it.
I have been gaining recently.
What’s it going to hurt?
                      Me and you. Please don’t
…..
         …..
I feel better now.
                      I wish you would listen to me.
He said I look good.
He said I’ve gotten skinny.
He said I’m better now.
                      Don’t do this love, please.
She said I look good.
She said I’ve gotten skinny.
She asked me how i’m better now.
                     You are more than enough to me,
                                             You have always been and will always be.
This is working well i’m happy again
Can’t you see i’m now a 10?
                     Oh lovely daughter you are so much more than
                                             words can tell you
                     One day someone will love you just like this, like
                                             I do.
I’ll keep going it’s doing nothing wrong.
                     I know you can’t yet see
                     But the pain you are feeling is just hiding
                                             underneath
…..
                     Please.
He said I look unhealthy.
He said i’ve gotten ugly.
He told me i’m a 5.
                     I promise you my love you are not a rating on a
                                             scale
                    You are smart, kind, more stunning than I can
                                            explain.
She said I look unhealthy.
She said i’ve gotten ugly.
She told me i’m a 5.

cries
                   If you can hear then listen close.
           You are Lovable.
           You are Valuable
           You are Capable.
           You are Redeemable.
I don’t know.
           Love, I created the stars.
           The shining light from above that meets you in the
                                           morning.
           I created you.
          Why would you doubt me?
          The very one who created beautiful?
Society has made me fear it the most.

you open up the newspaper
that declares another man
has taken what wasn’t his.

‘disappointing,’ you mutter,
turning the page.
‘look at the world, today.’

‘today?’ i ask,
a voice so small.
small as we have always felt.

open up a history book,
read it.
no, not those white men
gentrifying the world.

those women.
the ones of every colour,
orientation, size and class.

now, sir, do you understand?
those men are every man.
those women are every woman.

today is every day.

what if I told you
that you didn’t have to fool me
and you don’t have to convince the world
that you have it all together
and that your world is so bright behind those rose-colored shades.

I can see past the filters and through your deceit,
your world isn’t as lovely as it seems.
but still for the audience you display a false sense of happiness
a staged idea of having it all together
so busy convincing others —
perhaps you’ll never know when you’ll be content.

it’s exhausting, isn’t it?
trying to maintain appearances?
the picture you painted for me is not the one you paint for your audience.

just
be
you

hit your child
get hit back
leave their skin red
i'll leave your skin black

keep your hands off
bodies that aren't yours
hit them again
and we're going to war

******* and your fist
it's wrong what you've done
there are no excuses
not even one

s.s