She wakes me up deep in the night.

I understand you, she smiles
snuggling into me, her nose,
pressed cotton soft on my cheek

I have no strength, I cry
not one, for you

I love your weakness
love you for your weakness
her breath wafts into mine

and the boy stuck in his age
floats in the web
of the girl forever
forgiving.

I've never felt this way before
I've felt depressed, alone, empty
I've wanted to end my life multiple times
And I've tried to as well
But today It's different
Right now, It's different
If in the past
I have tried knowing I wouldn't go through with it
Or I wouldn't succeed
Because I didn't actually want to die
But right now I know
That If I went downstairs
And took that knife
Or took those pills
Or that rope
I would go through with it
And I know that If I do that
I won't be alive tomorrow
And for the first time
I'm scared
I'm scared of myself
Because I want to do that
I really do
But I also don't because I want the chance to fall in love
I want to know
What love feels like
I want to know
What a proper hug feels like
I want to know
What It's like to live
Without being in constant fear of something
Of someone...
I want to feel something other than sadness
Or emptiness
Before I die
I want to know what being happy feels like
But I'm scared
I probably won't live to see tomorrow
Because right now
I want to die
And I know I will go through with it this time

Walls too high,
too thick
can't dig under it.
doors cemented up,
I can't change that.
Standing outside
barefoot
on cold ground;
gravel's too rugged
to lay down,
shadows cast
a losing lot.
All I got's
a dwindling spark,
yet,
here I am
riveted to the spot.
Stand I or be cripled.
One of us will crumble,
but my will
will not.

She's my walking rose
Walking down the road
Discussing right and wrong
Trying to figure out how to stay strong

She wants to grow,
She wants to know
How it's supposed to go,
She turns her color on
Turns a shade of pink yellow white black or red
Only the rose knows,
walking as she goes,
her time is brief
she thinks maybe that's a relief

Her road is long
When she's in the middle of it,
She knows though
It's all a dream as it passes on by.

My rose
She wilts in the dawn
Rises in the night,
I tell her I have one more road to go
My walking rose
She whispers, "I know."