!FUNNY & FUN! - Hello Poetry

Jun 2015

niamh

Please be aware,
Before entering her lair,
You face possible death.

As the perfumed air
From her derriere
Will have you gasping for breath

#fun #rhyme

Jun 2015

niamh

Me a bird

I climbed a tree today
and sat atop a branch
I viewed the world in a brand new way
that I'm sure cannot be matched.

The tree spoke of a history
I could barely imagine.
Steeped in rich mystery,
My gorgeous old oak mansion.

Feathers sprouted from my skin,
Changes in every cell.
I was born a bird. I tried to fly
But it did not end well

#nature #fun #rhyme

Jun 2015

PS

Poetry

I poetried.

....

#poetry #pun

Jun 2015

Mike Hauser

My Television

I believe everything
That my T.V. is telling me
From my old time black and white
To the new color technology

From what all I should wear
To everything that I should eat
My television really cares
Never once would it lie to me

The way I should smell
What atmosphere I should breath
Helps me be myself
Fulfills my every need

It's here to entertain
Keep my life on track
Shows me what is in
Tells me where it's at

If you can't believe the T.V.
Who then can you believe
Based on fact not fiction
Never out of selfish greed

As long as there's still breath in me
I'll continue until I leave
Believing every single thing
My television is telling me

Jun 2015

Chris

Turnstile Dreaming

-

Caught in a turnstile dreaming
Spinning with no place to go
Reaching for lights in the ceiling
Blinded by something aglow

Losing my ticket on Sunday
Searching each pocket I wore
Wondering how I will get there
Into the arms I adore

Missing the bus that was leaving
Stopping for just a short while
Up pulls a man on a scooter
Wearing a slightly bent smile

“Hop on, I’ll go where you’re going”
He says as he gives it some gas
“Here, better put on this helmet,
So many cars we will pass”

We head out in either direction
Exits are lined by the way
Speed limits posted in crayon
Sixty-four color display

Then all at once we are flying
Sparrows look on with a sigh
Over a skyscraper napping
Snoring as we’re passing by

Higher and higher now climbing
I look at my watch, almost noon
We turn at the belt of Orion
A rest stop this side of the moon

When suddenly I am free falling
Tom Petty would surely be proud
I gaze at the station below me
The wind in my ears very loud

And there in the turnstile dreaming
I see once again it is true
Waiting in line with the others
Is me heading off to see you

That would explain why I’m happy
Head in the clouds up above
The ticket my hand it is holding
I’m going to be with my love

Just my imagination running away with me

Jun 2015

Mike Hauser

Every Day Is Christmas

Every day feels like Christmas
For the gifts that God doest bring
Immanuel here with us
Glory to the risen King

Enjoying daily His presence
The gift we all can share
In perfect harmony His essence
A sweet fragrance in the air

Wrapped up in forgiveness
Done up in a bow of grace
That is why it feels like Christmas
Every single day

Jun 2015

Francie Lynch

A Sly Game

As I approached
The eleventh tee,
     A red-tailed fox
     Looked up at me.
He stalks beside
A running creek,
     Our eyes met
     We didn't speak.
He took a peek
And lost his game.
     Then I teed off
    And did the same.

I've seen the fox several times. He hunts along the creek and across the fairways. We keep our distance. He looks as though he eats well.

#fox #game #golf

Jun 2015

niamh

Affairs

She works all day in a dead end job
And the money is not the best
The boss is a bit of a pervy ****,
Keeps staring at her chest.
Laughing too loudly, at unfunny things,
And tipping her the wink,
Hiding the lines of his wedding ring
Or so he likes to think.
Too-tight jeans and garish shirts
And teeth unnaturally white.
She'd like to kick him where it hurts
Even dreams of it at night.
He offers to take her to a bar,
Wherever she'd like to go
And he'd drive her home in his flashy car,
So nobody needs to know.
She nods her head and smiles her thanks
And makes a discreet phone call.
Her boss is as thick as two short planks and is about to lose his *****.
They enter the bar, he sees his wife
And knows he's out of luck.
He's either going to lose his life,
Or his wife's going to make him a ******

#fun #rhyme

Jun 2015

Richard Riddle

"Wisdom Throughout the Ages!"

Whatever the road, or path you choose
win or lose
Regardless of your want,
or dream-
do your best not to spoil it

So, my friends, remember this-

"There is absolutely,
no graceful way,
to sit upon a toilet."

copyright: richard riddle June 16, 2015
emended 10-12-2016

Jun 2015

poetessa diabolica

It's Raining Mad Dogs

Men are mad dogs,
women, finessed felines
we'd no sooner claw
    your eyes out
than admit you're right,
we'll undoubtedly,
without hesitation - -
use our feminine wiles,
to get our own way,
and you bloodhounds
   best get used to it
or no ***** for you
    tonight, or any given day

We've got the upper paw...MEow

And, if you're a bird dog
   well, that's a whole other story,
no telling what could happen

=^;^=

Okay men, don't get your boxers in a flurry, it's all in fun! ;)

My inspiration...see, it was hardly my fault!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -Robert A. Heinlein

#funny #felines #men #women #fiction #feminine #wiles #joking #bloodhounds #hooey

Jun 2015

Francie Lynch

Fatted Calves in Poetry

We do our best,
Use varying syntax,
Rhythm, rhyme and meter.
Our words are picked
From the garden variety,
But the themes are from
The Prodigal Son.
Is there nothing new
Under the sun?
I'm writing the same poem
Over and over:
Variations on the same themes:
Love, Life, Death, Family,
Power, Wealth, Nature,
Fatted Calves, etc.

I could invent new words,
But the meaning would
Convey the same:
I widdle you.
Your soft sortesches condestort in mine.
It all sounds too familiar
In any language.
We need a new world
Where arms reach from our heads
To bypass the thoughts transferred
To our sortesches holding folences
That pen our work.

Jun 2015

martin

Feets of engineering (10 words)

often
ignored
neglected
pamper
them
                                                   we
                                                   depend
                                                                   on our
                                                    feet

Jun 2015

South-by-Southwest

Star Eater

I ate all the stars last night
every single one
Then I had a comet cone for dessert
Now I have starburn
and I'm burping up rays of light
that sunburn my throat

The comet cone was too sugary
So I let it spew away
Now I have to learn
all the new constellations
And of course
it's all Confucius

#stars #spew #comets #tums #pepcid