Please Santa,

All I want this Christmas is Daddy home
Mommy keeps crying, she misses him
I miss him too, I'm only five years old
He is a soldier and has been away
He has been gone over eight months
Please bring him back, I don't want toys
Last week two men came to the door
They looked very important to me
Wearing uniforms with medals on
Mommy was given a letter and a flag
Not just any flag, one of the country
But when Mommy read the letter
She started crying, she hasn't stopped
Mommy won't tell me what it said
I'm scared I won't see Daddy again
So please Santa, I'm begging you
I don't want anything else
I want you to bring Daddy home

The money I'm saving on Christmas this year
will be incredibly useful for buying more beer
I'm not buying presents for family and friends
But this festive season I will be making amends

I'll never shop early for presents to give
I swear on my mother, for as long as I live
For while looking for boxes and our Christmas tree
I found boxes of presents from seventy three

All wrapped up and labelled in a box all alone
Hidden by an old blanket that was haphazardly thrown
Beside it, more presents from around eighty four
And as I kept on searching I found many more

There were presents for Grandad, who is now pushing daisies
And a few for Aunt Marg, who we all know was crazy
Gifts for the children, who now have kids of their own
In fact almost all are for children who've grown

I found a few that were given from Santa himself
And a few for my husband on an old wooden shelf
All wrapped up and labelled and dusty as well
I'd febreeze them downstairs to get rid of the smell

I promise from now, I will write down what I hide
And I'll draw a small map to use as a guide
I can't wait now for Christmas to see what we've got
From all the Christmases past, and the gifts I forgot!

The traditional Christmas Windows of Wonder
Were set to be unveiled at five
This meant to the children and parents
That Santa was set to arrive

Each year on the eve of the annual parade
All the stores in downtown did display
their annual Windows of Wonder
And the town was abuzz all the day

Children staring, windows frosting
Their mouths open wide like their eyes
Christmas was captured in an 8 by 10 box
With gifts piled up to the skies

Christmas presents of every sort
Trees and tinsel, lights and *****
Children staring, frozen stiff
Christmas wishes behind plate glass walls

Parents and children watched the parade
Waiting for Santa to come
In between all the floats, there were still the displays
As the children who all stood there numb

Toys and mechanics, robots and dolls
Trains and race cars on tracks
The children all stared and they dreamed of just how
Santa would get all these gifts in his sack

In the midst of the crowd was a blonde, little girl
A good breeze could just blow her away
She'd been hovering there, looking at one small doll
And she'd been there for most of the day

The parade, it passed by, but she never did look
she knew Santa was not here for her
There was only one thing that had captured her heart
And that was the doll, that's for sure

The other kids looked, made their lists in their heads
Ready to tell Santa their list
but, this little girl stood alone from the crowd
She was cold and her cheeks were ice kissed

The parade ended late, and Santa went in
took his chair and he met with the throng
But, this girl stood aside, never moving on up
And the Santa, knew something was wrong

He called her by name, which gave her quite a start
She was scared, but she moved at his call
She sat on his lap, and he reached down behind
And he gave the small girl the small doll

Her face lit the room, more than any display
She said "Santa, just how did you know?"
He said, "Sarah, my dear, it's as plain as can be"
"It's as easy as making it snow"

He put her back down, clutching her doll to her chest
And she walked to the front of the store
but, before she went out, she turned back to say thanks
And where he was, there was Santa no more

Is it magic to think that this Santa was real?
Or did this man know just what he should do?
He made Sarah's Christmas, by giving that doll
And I'm sure he made many more too

The Children of Christmas stare wide eyed all day
Dreaming hard of when Santa will call
But,, off in the corner of the chlly, young crowd
Stands a girl, with her new Christmas doll

THERE'S RUDOLPH, FROSTY, SANTA CLAUS AND GOOD OLD EBENEEZER
THERE'S CAROLS SUNG BY EVERYONE FROM KISS ON THROUGH TO WHEEZER
THERE'S CD'S OUT FROM NAT KING COLE, THE BOSTON POPS HAVE TWO
THERE'S  ONE OUT  NEIL DIAMOND WHICH IS STRANGE BECAUSE OLD NEIL'S A JEW

THE STORES HAVE TINSEL EVERYWHERE, THEIR TREES TOO,LOOKING NICE
THERE'S WRAPPING PAPER, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND EVEN PLASTIC ICE
THEY ATTACK YOUR SENSES CONSTANTLY, THEY MUST THINK I'M A FOOL
FOR ALL THIS STUFF IS ON DISPLAY, BEFORE THE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL

THERE'S A RASTAFARIAN SANTA CLAUS WITH DREADLOCKS KNOWN AS "STONEY"
GENETICALLY ALTERED TURKEY MEAT THAT TASTES JUST LIKE BALONEY
PEOPLE DON'T BUY CHRISTMAS GIFTS THEY SEEM TO JUST GIVE MONEY
SO THEY GO SHOPPING BOXING DAY, AND THIS I FIND QUITE FUNNY

THE CHARITIES ARE ON THE PHONE AND AT YOUR DOOR EACH NIGHT
THEY WORK YOU WITH SOME CHRISTMAS GUILT, AND SAY "IT'S ONLY RIGHT"
TO DONATE TO UNFORTUNATES AND THEIR FOLKS NEED IT MOST"
AS THEY FLASH THEIR SMILES, FAKE I/D'S BEFORE THEIR PHONY BOAST

PEOPLE SHOP AND BUY AND BUY AND THEN THEY ALL RE-GIFT
MOST TIMES YOU'LL GET CHRISTMAS CAKE, THAT'S REALLY HARD TO LIFT
YOU WORK O.T. AND DO YOUR BEST, YOUR CHRISTMAS CASH TO SAVE
AND YOU SMILE WHEN YOU GET YOUR GIFT, AND IT'S THE ONE YOU GAVE

CHRISTMAS IS LESS FESTIVE AND TO ME IT'S GOTTEN RATHER CLINICAL
WITH SCHEDULES MADE AND SALES AND THINGS, IT'S MADE ME RATHER CYNICAL
TO SAY WHAT CHRISTMAS REALLY MEANS, I READ THOMAS ACQUINAS
BUT INSTEAD, I'LL USE A QUOTE FROM SHCULTZ'S PROPHET LINUS

..."AND SUDDENLY THERE WAS WITH THE ANGEL A MULTITUDE OF THE HEAVENLY HOST PRAISING GOD
AND SAYING "GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST, AND ON EARTH PEACE, GOODWILL TOWARD MEN.""

AND THAT IS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT....PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

Bill Watson was an average man
Had a wife and just one kid
He always gave top effort
At everything he did
But, one day, Bill was shaken
He was taken by surprise
By a visit from the heavens
And it was right before his eyes
Bill, went out into his backyard
And the sky lit up so bright
It could only be an angel
Come down to him that night
He looked, but couldn't make out
the shape that  came down  from the sky
He thought what was the reason
And he found no reason why
That he should get a visit
From an angel of the lord
His life was not of great importance
He was just one of the hoard
He believed and read his bible
But didn't quite live by the word
He went to church each year at Christmas
Although his sins could not be cured
But, here in his back garden
On his knees before the light
Bill Wilson confessed his sins to god
In the dark, this  Christmas night
He told the angel of his feelings
Of all the sins, of thought and deed
And he knelt there before the angel
waiting for the penance that he'd need
But, nothing broke the silence
Only Bill there in the yard
He couldn't quite make out the angel
though he tried so very hard
Then from behind the illumination
Came the word he waited for
"You've tripped the motion light, you *****"
"Now, come in and close the door!"

The fear I have on Christmas Eve
Is one most have, I do believe
They tell my truth and don't decieve
Of visits from three spirits

Christmas future, present, past
Come for a night and do not last
It takes three hours and goes by fast
But, they are not the one I fear

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

Spirits three are set to come
the first to arrive at the stroke of one
It won't be long till the night is done
I don't know why they came to me

Nightmares and visions while I'm sleeping
From spirits who do not come creeping
I lie here hidden, softly weeping
It happens every Christmas Eve

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

My past is fine and present too
I know I'm fine, so how are you?
The past is old, holds nothing new
It's the future that needs changing

Three spirits come and three will go
The winds come too and they sure blow
My room is always full of snow
I just wish they'd shut the window

Who will be my Jacob Marley?
Who will be my initial ghost?
Will it be my Uncle Charlie?
Who will be my spirit host?

I wake up early Christmas Day
What I saw last night, I cannot say
I'll do my best and change I may
But, if  not....they'll be back next Christmas.

Christmas Eve was coming
There was plenty to be done
There were protocols to follow
There were programs to be run

Presents needed wrapping
Elves had duties of their own
They've been doing it for centuries
They could call Christmas in by phone

Reindeer games were scheduled
Christmas Carols to be sung
There were toys to be assembled
There were bells that must be wrung

Christmas Cakes...no problem
For we all know there's just one
It gets passed around each Christmas
And that is half the fun

But, back now to the reindeer games
Donner wasn't there
But, neither were three others
It gave Santa Claus a scare

He called the elven vet in
Said "find out what it wrong"
"If I don't have all my reindeer"
"It'll ruin Rudolph's song"

The vet came back directly
Hoof and mouth was what he said
The reindeer must  miss Christmas
They were all confined to bed

Santa couldn't take it
Reindeer home...what would he do?
He thought real hard about an answer
Where would he find something that flew

The vet said, "I've an answer"
"But, no questions...just your trust"
"I'll get your gifts delivered Santa"
"I just need your magic dust"

Santa said "do your best Doctor"
"We can't have Christmas end like this"
"Are you sure you have an answer?"
"We can't give Christmas time a miss"

The vet and elves went searching
They formed a team like none before
They went around to the animals
And then they knocked on Santa's door

Santa looked at what they'd brought him
His reindeer gone, but here they stood
A team had been assembled
It made Santa sink into his hood

Harnessed up before him
The vet had two dogs and a bear
A ******, goat, and donkey
And a bald, blind cat...stood there

He smiled and said "Dear Santa"
"They may not look like that much now"
"But, they'll get you where you need to be"
"And they'll be led by a brown cow"

If you hear some noises
From your roof, like bleats and barks
Some, meowing or some mooing
And other strange sounds in the dark

Remember, it's just Santa
With his new team for the season
Rex, Rolf, Billy, Ben, Bessie, Joe, and Mike
and a bald, blind cat who's freezin'

Merry Christmas to all and to all....don't look up!!

I put away the tree and lights
I packed the tags and wrap
I was doing Christmas a favor
I was not giving crap
I chose to make Christmas simple
the way it should really be
This year for our dinner
There was only to be three
Instead of "pop trance" singles
I played hymns instead
And I didn't hang a stocking
At the end of my old bed
I didn't watch the specials
That were all over my tv
I just spent time this Christmas
That's the most precious gift to me
I treasure the things I'm given
I treasure what I earn
But if you do this at Christmas
There's something you will learn
Christmas doesn't come in a package
On a tree or from a mall
Christmas comes from inside us
And it makes you feel quite small
I could feel the Christmas spirit
With every box I packed
It was there inside my being
I had found what Christmas lacked
This year I'm going simple
And I must say one thing more
This year for Christmas dinner
There'll be us three and one more
The Christmas spirit joined us
We had a simple, hearty feast
And although I'm going simple
I can say Merry Christmas...at the least.

Merry Christmas

Don't you wish that Christmas
Was a Currier and Ives scene
Where the snow was falling softly
In the woods of evergreen
Where horses pulled the sleighs
Through the village and the fields
Where the children played at snowballs
With just scarves to act as shields
A time of innocence gone by
Where Christmas was serene
Where the world was fairly limited
And not shown on a screen
A time where people had some class
And Christmas was a day
For families to just spend some time
Not compare how much they paid
A painting showing everyone
Out skating on the lake
While carol singers sang their songs
To see  the joy that they could make
I would love to have a Christmas
Like an old time Christmas card
But today, it would be difficult
It could be done, but would be hard
A Child's Christmas in Wales we'd read
And we'd follow it with more
We'd sing songs to our hearts delight
And we'd open up the door
for Christmas is for sharing
Not for self fulfilling greed
A Currier and Ives type Christmas
Might be just the thing we need
This year, I'll watch no movies
About Christmas elves and such
I'll make each treat we eat at home
And by the fire, stand a crutch
I'll volunteer and feed the poor
And I'll go to church as well
Wait....who am I kidding
Well, it was a nice thought....What The Hell!!

Merry Christmas

I WENT BACK TO THE CHRISTMAS PLAY
I HAVEN'T BEEN IN YEARS
AND JUST LIKE  ALL THE TIMES BEFORE
I BROUGHT ALONG SOME BEERS
IT WAS MY YOUNG SON'S DAUGHTER
WHO I HAD COME TO SEE
SHE WAS BETTER THAN MY SON HAD BEEN
SHE WAS WISE MAN NUMBER THREE

THE STORY, IT REMAINED THE SAME
OF JESUS AND HIS BIRTH
OF HOW THE ANGELS CAME AND TOLD
TO THE SHEPHERDS HERE ON EARTH
THE BOY WHO PLAYED THE ANGEL
WAS SUPPORTED BY A HOIST
HE WAS EXTREMELY NERVOUS
WHICH MADE HIS WINGS QUITE MOIST

HIS NAME WAS DAN AND HE WAS FROM
A TOWN OUTSIDE OF WHEELING
THE HOIST GAVE WAY AND ALL I SAW
WAS DAN SINGH ON THE CEILING
HE LANDED SAFE, THE PLAY WENT ON
AND NO ONE WAS THE WISER
UNTIL A WATER PIPE DID BREAK
AND STARTED SPEWING QUITE THE GEYSER

I SAT AND WATCHED WITH MY YOUNG SON
WE KEPT IT TO OURSELVES
BUT ONE WISE MAN WAS SIX FEET TALL
AND MADE THE OTHERS LOOK LIKE ELVES
I THOUGHT BACK TO THE  TIMES BEFORE
OF HOW THE PLAY ONCE WAS
IT NEVER REALLY WORKED OUT RIGHT
AND WE NEVER KNEW THE CAUSE

BUT HEADS FELL  OFF AND DONKEYS PEED
AND ANGELS LOST THEIR WINGS
BUT THESE WE ALL EXPECTED
THESE WERE SURELY SPECIAL THINGS
THAT MADE EACH PLAY DIFFERENT
EACH PLAY BECAME IT'S OWN
SPECIAL LITTLE MOMENT
AND EACH ONE STOOD  ALONE

NO ONE PLAY WAS PERFECT
BUT NEVER WOULD WE SAY
WE RATHER WOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME
THAN COME OUT THERE THIS DAY
REMEMBER NOW, SOME YEARS HAD PASSED
SINCE I FIRST SAW THIS SHOW
F/X HAD NOW BEEN ADDED
AND THE BABY'S CRIB, IT GLOWED

THEY TAPED A BABY CRYING
TO COME OUT FROM THE CRECHE
IT WAS THE FIRST TIME EVER
JESUS CRIED LIKE DJ FRESH
THE TAPE THEY USED WAS BORROWED
BUT THE KIDS THEY DID THEIR DUTY
BUT IN THE BACK, BEHIND THE CRYS
WE ALL HEARD "SHAKE YER *****"

I CLOSED MY EYES PERCHANCE TO THINK
OF TIMES SO LONG AGO
OF FIGHTING THROUGH THE TRAFFIC
AND DRIVING IN THE SNOW
I LOOKED ACROSS AND THEN I SAW
MY SON HAD DONE THE SAME
I WONDERED THEN IF HE THOUGHT BACK
AND IF THIS  WAS JUST A GAME

THE PLAY WENT ON WITH OUT MUCH FUSS
AND WE ALL STOOD UP AND CHEERED
FOR EACH AND EVERY CHILD THERE
AND THE FEW THAT HAD REAL BEARDS
I SOUND AS THOUGH IT IS A WASTE
OF TIME, BUT THEN AGAIN
NEXT YEAR I KNOW THAT I'LL RETURN
TO WATCH FROM EIGHT TILL TEN.

I'VE COME TO MY KIDS CHRISTMAS PLAY
JUST LIKE I DID LAST YEAR
THIS YEAR THOUGH, I'VE COME PREPARED
I'VE BROUGHT ALONG SOME BEER
I FIGURE THAT I'LL NEED IT
TO HELP ME THROUGH THE NIGHT
'CAUSE WHEN THOSE **** KIDS
TAKE THE STAGE...IT REALLY IS A SIGHT

INSTEAD OF USING THE SAME DOLL
THEY'VE GOT ONE THAT IS NEW
THE ONLY THING THAT'S WRONG WITH IT
IS THIS **** DOLL IS BLUE
THIS YEAR THEY'VE ADDED DONKEYS
IN COSTUMES MADE FROM NERF
THEY HELP TO KEEP YOUR MIND OFF,
THEIR JESUS IS A SMURF

THIS YEAR THE WISE MEN GOT IT RIGHT
AND THEY'RE ALL WEARING THONGS
YOU CANNOT HEAR THE CHOIR
THEY'RE FLIP-FLOPPING THROUGH THE SONGS
THEIR ROBES TOO, ARE MUCH BETTER
THEY DON'T WEAR DRESSING GOWNS
THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE A GROUP OF ROCKS
NOW, THEYRE DRESSED UP RIGHT IN BROWN

LAST YEAR MY  SON, HE PLAYED A ROCK
HE WAS A BIG SUCCESS
THIS YEAR HE'S MARY'S STAND-IN
AND HE HAS TO WEAR A DRESS
I HOPE THAT HE DOES NOT GO ON
CAUSE, GOD FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH
I'M NOT QUITE SURE THE F/X CREW
CAN MAKE A BOY GIVE BIRTH

THIS PLAY WAS BETTER THAN THE LAST
WE DIDN'T LAUGH AS MUCH
POOR JOSEPH USED A POGO STICK
TO REPRESENT A CRUTCH
IT WAS ARTISTIC LICENSE
TO HAVE THE CRUTCH OUT THERE
HE TRIPPPED UPON THE MAGII
AND WENT FIVE FEET IN THE AIR

I'VE COME TO MY KID'S CHRISTMAS PLAY
FOR THREE YEARS IN A ROW
IT ONLY COSTS TWO FIFTY
AND THEY PUT ON QUITE A SHOW
I SAID THE SAME THING LAST YEAR
AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN
I'LL BE BACK NEXT CHRISTMAS TIME
ONE NIGHT FROM EIGHT TILL TEN.

I WENT TO MY KID'S CHRISTMAS PLAY
I GO THERE EVERY YEAR
IT REALLY IS A SIGHT TO SEE
THOSE CHILDREN FREEZE WITH FEAR
THEY ACT THEIR LITTLE HEARTS OUT
THEIR FACES RED WITH RAGE
ALL THIS HAPPENS PRIOR TO
THEM GOING OUT ON STAGE

THEY DO THE SAME PLAY EVERY YEAR
IT REALLY IS A CROCK
LAST YEAR MY KID WAS A WISE MAN
THIS YEAR, HE PLAYS A ROCK
HE CAME HOME AND HE PRACTICED
HE READ THE SCRIPT WITH ME
I THINK HE WAS MUCH BETTER THAN
THE KID WHO PLAYED A TREE

THEY ALWAYS USE A LITTLE DOLL
TO PORTRAY THE CHRIST CHILD
THE WISE MEN ALL HAVE NIKES ON
IT'S REALLY SOMETHING WILD
POOR JOSEPH HAS A STUTTER
AND MARY HAS A COUGH
AND WHEN SHE PICKED POOR JESUS UP
HIS HEAD AND LEG FELL OFF

WE SIT THERE AND TRY  NOT TO LAUGH
THE KIDS THEY TRY THEIR BEST
BUT WHEN THAT HEAD ROLLED OFF THE STAGE
IT PUT ME TO THE TEST
IT HAPPENS EVERY CHRISTMAS
ONE NIGHT FROM EIGHT TILL TEN
IT'S AWFUL, BUT NEXT YEAR I KNOW
THAT I'LL BE BACK AGAIN.

Fall is here
With it comes colour
Hallowe'en
and dread

Not dread from having to rake
Not dread because another year slipped away
Not dread because the kids are back to school
Dread because Christmas is coming

Dread because you haven't taken down the lights
Dread because you haven't checked the lights

Dread because you haven't got your cards ready to send
Dread because you need to update address lists
Dread because you're hosting dinner and aren't ready
Dread because you don't know who is bringing what
Dread because you can't trust everyone to bring the right stuff

Dread because you haven't got sizes for everyone for gifts
Dread because you need paper, and ribbons and bows
Dread because the 3 spirits haven't visited yet
Dread because you haven't been to buy the spirits yet
Dread because you don't know how big a bird to get
Dread because you don't know if it should be goose or turkey
Dread because your son is bringing his vegetarian "friend"
Dread because you don't know if the "friend" is male or female and you've met twice already


Dread because your'e not ready for Christmas
and it's ONLY SEPTEMBER 3 !!!