You seem the kind of peril she wouldn't mind getting familiar with.

She wanted you to see how she had those fire in her eyes whenever she told you about her dreams, about her passion, about her fears that she wanted to conquer. She wanted you to whisper to her how much she meant to you, although she would never admit it.

To her you were a bright, massive star; capable of illuminating her entire world, yet having an unstable heart.

One day, you told her how you could name a hundred reasons why she was never like the others. and that you loved her. Just love her. You never knew how she kept on thinking about those words for days, because that is all she could do; think, but not believe. And you never knew, because she would never tell you.

Oh how she longed to brush her fingers through your hair. To hold hands with you just because. To share tight hugs that could go on forever. To spend late night to morning talks with you. She hopes for the day to come when all her daydreams become reality.

She could go on and on about these things, but then, there are certain things that, no matter how hard she yearned for, will never be.

The danger she never feared; the chaos she looked forward to; the ruin she expected.

That, dear, is you.

**

1) when you tell him you love him and he says "thank you"
Says "I know"
Says absolutely nothing
Pretend like the cavity where your heart used to be isn't endlessly throbbing. Pretend like you don't crave the words, pretend like it doesn't hurt, pretend like you're not empty.
2) imagine, remember hearing him say the words back. Imagine, remember the way his lips feel pressed against yours. Imagine, remember the sound of his heart beating against your ear when he says your name. Imagine, remember the smell of him on your skin and clothes
3) when you see his family out in the town you can't leave, say hi. Smile, ask them about themselves. Hug his little sister. After 4 years, 3 months, 9 days (who's counting right) you've earned the right to be civil to them. You've earned the right to be friends with them.
4) after 4 years 3 months and 9 days, when you tell him you love him and he doesn't say anything... don't stop telling him you love him. Even though your heart belongs to him, even though the empty spaces in your chest hurt, tell him you love him again. Because maybe one day, he'll say it back.

All those things I didn't say

        Little words

  And big words

            Drift past my bedroom window

When I'm missing you at night.