I see
I saw
The sea
You see
The tide
It turned
The sea
It washed
Over me
You see
I saw
The ebb
The flow
The sea
It saw
It sees
The me
The you
The us
The we
It sighed
You see
It sighs
The sea
The tide
The time
The energy
It sees
The pain
It saw
The moon
It turned
It sees
You see
The sea

I turn my face
To morning chorus
Of fresh breeze
Of expectant shadow
I hold out my hand
To the space that's you
In that single moment
My perfect happens

26 letters
My fingertips
A thought
5 vowels
My heart
A sign

Railway station waiting room sitting anticipating inspiration
Breathing slows as calm descends with a black lace shroud
Mystery light and honesty filter through the spaces in between
Thoughts float up then disperse on the wind searching for a patch of fresh earth
The platform rises up and beckons me to trust instinctively
Soon I will be taken from here to find my bodies position in a different place
My absence of presence will be noted in the subtle shift
A whisper of inquisitiveness will leave it's mark on those who pass by my shadow ghost
The past will greet the present like a familiar friend before walking into the future.

Sitting on hands
Feet turning inwards
Trying to hide the inside
From the outside world
Goosebumps on pale skin
Patiently waiting
For the hand that feeds
crumbs
Listen carefully
can hear a tiny voice?
Perched precariously
Head lifts
Heart beat quickens
Fingers unhinge the cage
The door creaks
With wings unclipped
Freedom beckons
Yawn awake
Hear the delicate song

I can taste the lies you left in the corner of my mouth
I cut my teeth on words that once danced on my tongue
Tastebuds tingled as the sentiment made sense
Tongues tied as eyes widened with the beliefs
I choke on the aftertaste of lips you serviced

It will be happy
Sad and Lonely
There will be wishful thinking
Achievements disappointments
Love and tears
Hope and fears
Arguments, in depth discussions
Songs, poetry and prose
Cold times, hard times
Amazing
A little bit of wonderful
A whole heap of something special
Long nights, short days
Lazy Sunday mornings
Rainy Tuesdays
Thank God it's Fridays
Writing on the wall
Picking yourself up when you fall
Excitement and wonder
Standing tall
Pride and pain
Hurt feelings
Dancing eyes
Huge big grins
Goosebumps, pins and needles
On searing hot skin
Cold hearts, skinned knees
Listening
Hearing things
Saying what's on your mind
Lying and imagining
Eyes wide with wonder
Tears running down cheeks
Time to speak
Wasted days
Guts and glory
Brand new stories on fresh blank pages
The best of you
Laughing like drains
The subtle, the profane
Drunken days sobering thoughts
Big hearts new starts
Expectations, failures and successes
Asking questions but questioning answers
Never forgetting to remember the past
Whilst stepping into the future
Have the presence of mind to be present
It's in your hands
Live it love it

Walk with purpose into 2017 X

The echoes of my voice
Leave you with a choice
Which road do you walk down ?What is your fear?
That you may drown
While the ship sinks
As the fireworks go off in your head
Was that the last time
As I left your bed
With your arms outstretched
As my words dripped like honey
And your desires I read with one look
Do we let our fingers forever reach
But never touch
Home where we both felt safe
Where adolescent dreams became a reality
As time ticked on and on
we'd become a shadow of what we were supposed to be
Your image forever in my head
In the sentences swimming before my eyes
As I walked down the platform of my former self
And shed past hurts like fishes  scales
We replaced them with wings that summer of our content
You picked up my smile
I gave you your unpredictable
We had the ability to scratch away the ambiguity
To hold out our hands to receive
Our destinies
We made each other's skin sigh
As we looked up at a cloudless sky
My future and past collided in your presence
So now as we sit shaking our heads
As your scorpion tail flicks laden with venom
My spiteful words freeze with a premonition
I'd like to suture the ruptures
Recapture the serendipity
The alchemy
That meant we had a future
Not just a history

I need to hold a fragment of you in my hand
I will gently pick another piece of you
Cherish it kiss it back to life
That will be the hope that cements the join
One by one piece by piece I will gently put you back together
Every speck of glue will have smiles running through
Every little crack will let in the light
When you are whole again I will stand back and breathe in the view
People will remark on your amazing power
I will admire your strength
For you are even more beautiful than yesterday

Put your hands inside my face
Let your fingers trace
The tears the mistakes
******* smile
Let it melt into yours
The lines that creep across your cheek
That's where it starts
That's the heart of it
Feel a part of this
The flicker of recognition in your eyes
The ignition
Simplicity comes as an epiphany
Thoughts questions dissipate
As separately we come to the conclusion that the inclusion
Isn't a far fetched illusion
Or a delusionary tactic aimed to hijack the effects that affect the final outcome

Can you steer me away from the fear?
The pounding heart that starts
In the pit of my stomach it's
Debilitating irritating unfulfilling  
Anxiety spilling out
Drilling into my brain
Pounding ticking
Tick tick tick tock
Locked in shut out
I'm looking in but left out
in the cold
Shivering
frightened of fright itself
I'd like to bottle it
Put it on a shelf to gather dust
Standing beside myself
Looking at the shelf
I'm talking to myself
Am I selfish or selfless
Helpless or hopeless
I'd like the road I'm walking down
To be the path home
I'd welcome me with open arms
To totally disarm
I'd wrap me up in the comfort
I'd let me sigh and smile
And sit and just be me for a while

I'm learning to swim
in the words that form
In your perfect mouth
I was drowning in questions
When I should have been floating
On acceptance

Black crows
Circling calling
Spitting our names
Black shroud descends
Suns shadow lengthens darkens
Trapped in a box
I am cracked
Bones snap
Voices break
Blood runs cold in my veins
Lifeless hopeless loveless
Skin is too big
For the withering breath
That no longer rises and falls
In time to the beat of a heart
With a wide gapping hole
A hole so big
A hole so deep
A hole so wide
It divides
This conquered place
I won't let you see my face
Or the lines and the groves
Of the tracks my tears have made
Fingertips are numb
I can't reach out and touch
The heat of your body
I'm not just anybody
I embody all that is good in you
Step in time
With the feet that are both yours and mine

I have a memory on my mouth
A kiss that branded lips
A whisper that stirred these hips
Words tantalise then slowly drip
Your desire an intoxicating mix
Entirely whole
Fingers click I close my eyes
A conjurors trick
you and I the perfect fit

As I turn my insides out
Memories spill like rain
Sear hot pavements with emotion
then evaporate in a plume of steam

That kiss
Yes that kiss...
Where words danced
On reddened lips
Then skipped over tongues
That kiss
Yes that kiss...
When whispers combined  
Then slipped down and touched hearts
That kiss
Yes that kiss
That made skin stand to attention
Then sighed sentences of hope
That kiss
Yes that kiss
That made you forget
That the rest of the world exists

Delicate little dragon
Sit beside me
Tell me what's up
Whisper your words
So they don't burn
I'll lend you my ear
Make my tears evaporate
Invigorate your wings
It's time for us both to fly

We are the lucky ones
We get to tell our story
With all our guts
And it's glory
When you have taken everything
And there isn't any more to give
It's time to forgive
Forget the effect
I want special effects
Not pyrotechnics
When you have taken anything
And all that's left
Is distress
Various states of undress
Haven't redressed the balance
It becomes a challenge
And you think you can't manage
To emerge from the dream
The silent screams
As you crawl along the floor once more
It's hard to ignore
When you have taken the something
The essence of me
Because you wanted to see
How far you could take
It was a mistake
To underestimate
Just how much you thought I could lose
You take what I give
Once upon a time
It was willingly free
I paid too higher price
When you want nothing more
and I'm replaced
With another face
I'm toe to toe with my reflection
Which direction
As I look over my shoulder
Am I really wiser as I get older
When my everything was nothing
More than something to discard
Is honesty so hard
The anything left to say
Will wait for another day
My depiction of the situation
Isn't a fairytale it isn't fiction
As I pick up the pieces
I know where it leads to
I'm stronger
Who knew what was to come
Time will stitch up the scars
As I look up to the stars
I thank my luck
My story
Well it's just begun
I'm not just anyone
I'm everything something
Someone.

Home was never a place
Home wasn't in the people I saw
Home was never walls and windows
Home wasn't doors
Home is the peace written on my face.

Clothes constrain
Skin contains
The insides I wear on the outside
You don't have to scratch the surface
To find hidden meanings
To catch a glimpse of passion
To see my blood reaching boiling point
You don't have to dig your nails in
To reach through the seven layers
To hear the whispers written on my bones
Scriptures ooze from the ruptures
Lush red tastes of rusted words
Skin the binds
Skin that hides
Stretches over my memories
I wear the patchwork quilt of history
Of the mothers and fathers who have gone before
Sewn together with the glorious stories of yesterday
Stitched with the future's threads
The hopes and dreams of the generations yet to be
My heart, my soul, my skin, my home

Take my hands
Clothe them in magic
A close fitting glove
Breathe your words
Bathe them in hope
The kiss of life

When I look in the mirror
I see her looking back at me
Arms outstretched reaching out for me
Eyes watching over me
Ears listening out for me
Mouth whispering to me
Time turning back to me
The days are moving forward
Time is ticking on
I've woken up
She's still gone.

Someone smiled at me today
Someone smiled at me...really smiled
A wide open smile
An honest smile
A lovely kind smile
A smile that said I like you
A smile that said I value you
A smile that said I'm here to stay
A smile that said it's  good to know you
A smile that said I'm not going anywhere
A smile that said smile back at me
I stood there for a while
Then stepped back from the mirror.

The ebb and flow is tied to the string on my big toe
Muscles in my calf twitch and the switch clicks
The salt spray covers my skin and so it begins
The wind caresses away the day's stresses
Ears hear the rush of whispered wishes
Eyes dance as they lull tired words into chants
Dreams subside as lost memories collide
Drench my bones with the salty tears of home
I'm coming back into view...look out to sea I can see you

The sea sighs emotion
Takes the pain away
Leaves a slice of peace
Erodes part of yesterday

Will you take these words from me?
Will you see them written on feathers?
Will you see the birds spread them on their wings?
Will you see them scattered to the wind?
Will you catch them with open hands?
Will you place them on your cheek?
Will you live them...breathe them in?
Will you watch them soar higher than you ever imagined?
Will you?

Look look look
Can you see?
I mean really see
Stop, pause, breathe
Look around
Then focus
Open your eyes
Wide
Look with your ears
Look with your mind
Look with your skin
Look look look
Did you see?
I mean really see
Did you?
Stop, pause, breathe?
Look
Around
Then focus
With open eyes
So wide
Did you hear?
Did you think?
Did you feel?
Now you see
You can really see
You, yes you, you
And that's enough
It's enough for all of us
You you you
We could see you
Now you can see you too

I'm sighing and crying simultaneously
My throat is dry and full of words
I feel faint and wide awake
There's fire and water in my head
Electric current fizzes and silences
Sickness overwhelms and life affirms
Pins and needles numb
Blind eyes see the voice
Lifeless body feels the force
Beautifully fierce in damage
Heart pumps imagination
Dream real stops dead
Shocks pause for breath
Bring me back with your words
Whispered on the wind.

One minute of everything
Not hours of something
One minute
Numbed by feelings of all
Not hours of nothing much
One minute
Then hours of remembering you
Not hours of nothing
Then one minute forgetting you

Standing there so close
I could read your thoughts
For they matched mine
Magnetised on the platform
You pacing, looking, sighing
I stood still
Time stood still
Ten minutes
Ten whole minutes
Tick tick tick
Train clattering down the tracks
As it gets nearer you get further away
Eyes lock
Time stood still
Ten seconds
Ten whole seconds
Tick tick tick
Standing there so close
You could read my thoughts
For they matched yours
Door closes
You pace, look, sigh
I stand still
Time stands still
Train clatters down the track
As I get further away I wish you were nearer
Ten seconds
Ten whole seconds
Why didn't you stand still
And just talk to me?

Oh dear!
Oh dear oh dear
What's that I hear?
One more my dear?
Yes you my dear
What me?
Are you sure
Yes my dear
One for the road
Should I be so bold
Do I need to ask?
Your task since you ask
No need to think
Have another drink
Go on do you have to be told?
Should I be so bold
To suggest one for the road
Oh all right just one mind
Then it will be time
Because it's now tomorrow
I'll follow your lead
Down the path of least resistance
At your insistence
What's the harm in one more
Are you keeping score?
There's a suspension
In my good intentions
Ah go on then
And again and again
Oh dear
Oh dear oh dear
I can't see
You see the one after that
Was my flaw
I'm on the floor
Just one more?
Next time
I shall stop when it's still yesterday
What did you say?
One more my dear
Oh dear oh dear
Oh dear....

Drum beat
Heels click
Water drip
Falls into place
Your face
Our space
Echoing
Beckoning
Prerequisite
Composite
Definite
Rivers of belief
What to achieve
Deep breath
No stress
Nothing to confess
Brave enough
Saved enough
Enough hope
Prayers
Silent stares
Eyes wide
Turn the tide
Seize the day
This is the day
Come what may

Whisper prayers in my ears
Be my light in the dark
Take my hand be my guide
Make my heart expand and sigh
Mask the hate filled sentences
Gather together the broken pieces.

She stands by the railings wearing that knowing look
Her dog waiting patiently by her side
Platform two I catch a glimpse of red
Torn apart as the Windows go rattling by
Memories come back to visit me
She knew what was to become of us
Her star guides me back to the heart of our past
Clacketty clack
Drum beat, feet tap
until we meet again on platform 2.

There is so much I want to share
That you will never get to see
Remember me
Don't forget I'm grieving for what should have been
Come to the funeral and celebrate
Nothing I do or say will demonstrate
If you don't open your eyes as well as your head
Every line that I ever wrote
Every whispered word I ever spoke
I wanted to penetrate your skin
Now I punctuate with a deep sigh
A turned down mouth instead of a grin
I forgot where I end and you begin
As I look up to the sky today
I don't want to die today
I am walking blindly in the light
That should be filled with fun and hope
I will pick up my bag of trust
Scrape off the mud and rust
I will wind up the mechanism that that propels me
Broken promises and spells surround me
My feet and my hands are all I know
Although my fingertips are burned
I can feel the healing kisses
You and I are bigger than this
The us we called we is what I'll miss

The coolness of the train window
Takes the heat from my forehead
Replaces it with brain freeze
The initials trickle down the pane
The hypnotic clackty clack
Lulls me into a trance
Trees and fields rush by
Straight line to the heart of my past
As the sun blinks I'm blinded
I can finally see what's in front of me
Time to go back to see the future
My childhood is waiting
To greet me in its kind open arms

She is lying very still
The tide of regret washing over her
The ebb and flow of emotions
Breathe in
Breathe out
That's all she can do
Words caught up
Tangled in the fishing net of despair
Flotsam and jetsam on the surface
The wreck of a relationship carried on   The swell
Where will it end up?
Driftwood on a deserted beach somewhere miles from here
Bleached by the sun
Crumbling to dust
Adding to the bones of long forgotten love
She will pick herself up and carry on
Time and time again
For a fleeting moment perfect
All that's left is loneliness once more
She knows in her cold scarred heart life will beat
Breathe out
Breathe in
That is all there's left to do.

Yes she said
I can't dismiss
Your kiss
The kiss
I miss so much
Dances on my tongue
Fizzes in my brain
I could never feel the same
It wasn't a game
It was real
To feel
The heat
From my head
To toe
You know
I can't go
I can't leave
I still believe
The sigh
Oh my
As much as I try
I still remember the kiss
The sigh the smile
Upon the lips that miss your kiss
I can't dismiss
The kiss
That kiss
I miss so much.

And you lied
And lied
And I believed
Your words to be true
I thought
I thought I knew you
Yes you
With the open face
The bare face
Then you lied
And lied
And I believed
Those beautiful words
How could you not
Want to live them
Breathe them
Give them to me
Unconditionally
Then you lied
And lied
And I believed
Didn't you think
Think as they left your head
Danced on your tongue
That they would cut
Cut like a knife
Did it feel like butter
That wouldn't melt
On your tongue
Then you lied
And lied
And I believed
Was that smile
An honest smile
Upon your lips
The sparkle in your eye
A sight to behold
Was it a game
Were you teasing me
Instead of pleasing me
And then you lied
And lied
And I believed
Did you taunt me
Your words haunt me
How could you stand there
Stand and make me understand
I listened
Put yourself in my position
And then you lied
And lied
And I don't believe
In your contrition

Adornment fades at first sighs the skin- again our hearts race blood pools- lastly heightened senses combine hushed voices

One life. One chance. One me. One you. One love. One question. One or two?

She sits quietly staring into the distance
Her mind can no longer pick up her feet and run
She takes a shallow breath then laughs...
Why don't you giggle too? She asks
Can't you hear me?
Can't you feel me tugging the hem of your shirt tail ?
Can't you feel my hand in yours?
Can't you feel my heartbeat in time to the thoughts in your head?
Can't you hear the promises I had with your soul?
Will you sit for a while and listen to my story? I will whisper in your ear
Can't you hear me?
A shiver on the breeze... Has she really gone?

She sits there waving at the moon.
Do you think she can see me?
She wonders what she's doing
Do you think she is smiling down at me?
I do hope she's awake
I'm sure she's waving back at me
Do you think we can help her down tonight
For even though she's out of sight
I can see her in my minds eye
Reaching out
Even though she can't stay
Do you think she could watch me play?
Just for a little while
It really would make my day
She sits there waving at the moon
Maybe we can see her soon?
I do hope she is waving back at me
When you look down
I'm sure you'll notice me
Sitting here waiting patiently.

Goodbye
I shall leave my memories where they belong
You tear me apart
Don't haunt me with our history
Be present in the future
Don't leave me to bleed
Tears
For the days that I'll miss
Sigh with the hope that given time
We will look into the past of better times
Be proud that we did all we could
The ripples echoing
We changed the world
Didn't we?

I am walking down the road in the footsteps of my former self
Retracing yesterday
feeling the stabbing pains
Tears pricking my eyes
cheeks burning red
Cold sweat on hot skin
My bones worry with the weight of the world planted squarely upon my shoulders
Wearing the words of spite that sting my flesh
I cover my ears so that the silence deafens me
I have been walking away forever
feet bleeding their taunts
My hands held out palms up
Ready to receive their leftovers
There I was standing out ... and not fitting in
Did I scare all of you with my quiet acceptance ?
I was your muse
your amusement to get you out of the predicament
That meant I was the punch bag for your discontent.

Count to ten
Click your heels
Then wave a magic wand
Take my hand
Hold on tight
As we unravel the rope
Hurry hurry
Roll up roll up
Maybe click our fingers in unison
Giggles bubble up
Escaping....mixing with air
Gather up the tears that fall at your feet
I'll patch up your grazes
You will help me out of scrapes
Hair flowing down my back
As the wind kisses my cheek
We sneak out into the dark
You saw my dreams in the dappled light
I could read your mind through my little eye

To all of you who feel hurt and pain.
Who felt they weren't part of the game.
Who felt so ashamed.
When they were called a name.

Who felt the stab of pain.
With everything to lose and nothing to gain.
Who thought they were to blame.
And they were the ones who weren't sane.

Who feel they cause the pain.
Names branded on skin by the heat of a flame.
They wanted you to be the same.
Toe the line fit the frame.

You don't have to feel the pain.
No longer need to feel the shame.
The fact that you are not the same.
Makes you special worth more than just a name.

Motherless rudderless
There is no one to steer this boat.
We are still anchored in the past
Exactly where she dropped it.
Moss grows old
Rust corrodes
But time doesn't erode

Train pulls in as two hearts stop
Voices break as tears stream
down the tracks
Electricity crackles through the live rail
Love wants to revive the life from the dying embers
They stand there as the mist clears
Torn apart as the door slams shut.

I can feel your words echo with the breeze on my skin
We sat here, you and I, for the longest time
Saying goodbye to the day when the sun went down
The tide took with it the dreams and wishes of the dying souls we'd be missing
Then returned it as a gift for the living
Let the water cover my feet and the sand run through my fingers
The oyster shells a reminder of a taste of the good times
A physical symbol of the hours we'd been given