I will walk down that road
Because I can finally see
What you were trying to do to me
Then you will be able to see too
What you are supposed to do
You know in your heart
You knew at the start
We spent too long apart
I was blind you see
Blinded by the tears of grief
You didn't see beneath
You didn't scratch the surface to see what was underneath
I thought you were giving me my self belief
You were greedy thinking two was a better number than one
When all is said and done
And you have had your fun
I'm still not going to be number one
Where was your strength and courage to belong
I opened up my chest let you hold that heart
Where blood exchanged for a part of you
So you run through my veins you gave me life when all was lost
I held on to hope at all costs
Now all the blood has drained away
I realise you weren't meant to stay
And you and me have had our day
I won't forget what's in my head
I will hold it high as I walk on by
Down my path with a clear blue sky
my path will follow a different route from the one I thought
I will take the lessons I've been taught
The only thing I have are questions to ask
To ask of myself
I will open my eyes and live the life I dreamed
Of the destiny not the uncertainty
So on this note I will leave
for I no longer believe in the us you thought we could achieve
Don't look back in anger
Look forward and remember
What was good...
honour our memory
For you never really belonged to me.

You won't see me again
But you will search every day
You taste the regret
In the words you never said
You dream me into reality
Then wake with empty arms

She stands by the railings wearing that knowing look
Her dog waiting patiently by her side
Platform two
I catch a glimpse of red
Torn apart as the Windows go rattling by
Memories come back to visit me
She knew what was to become of us
Her star guides me back to the heart of our past
Clacketty clack
Drum beat, feet tap
until we meet again
on platform two

The history is written in the lines on your face
My fingers trace the furrowed brow
The giggles in your dimples
The beauty of your memories
I can touch your laughter
I taste the tears running down your cheeks
Was it my words that made you cry?
Let my thoughts be the smile in your minds eye.

Childhood lines
Pulling us back like elastic bands
Pinching the skin
Leaving stinging nettle welts
Skinned our hearts as well as our knees
Long hot summers take our breath away
Blackberry juice dripping from our chins
The taste of nostalgia still on our tongues
Hot pavements burnt our feet
Sticky sweat mixed with mud dries
Daisy chains bound our wrists
Wasps circle the sugar
oozing from honeyed sandwiches
Hands searching for forbidden fruit
What is time but blurred lines
Pulling us back like elastic bands.

The black cloud subsided when the rain came down.
Down it came again and again
The black cloud shrouded the land
And the sea
Covered it in pain and again
The black cloud created the night when it was day
Darkened it in shame and again
The black cloud subsided when the rain came down
Took away the pain and the shame

One face
It could be your face
Or my face
Why do some have two faces?
How do we face the world
When we turn our face
To the nameless faces
Who ask us to look them in the eye
As they face us?
Can you face up to the fact
You are Turing a blind eye
When you should look them in the eye
Stand side by side
Do you mind as you walk away with your two faces
The one with a smile as you pretend you can't see
What's right in front of you
The one that moans about your lot and what you haven't got
Look around this green and pleasant land
As you lay claim to what you think is yours
Can you hold your head up high
And say you tried to make this a better place?
I can see distaste written on your face
Time to wipe the smiles from the smug faces
Wipe the tears from the misplaced
Treat each and everyone as if they are part of this human race
Next time you look at a frightened tear stained face
Have the courage to face up to the fact
That you are lucky to be in the place you call safe
That one face...
Could have been your face
But you were born in a different place
Look in the mirror as you come face to face with your future
Then look another in the eye... hold out your hand as you smile
Tell them all the pain has been worthwhile

I fall on my face when I want to fall on my feet
My heart beats fast when I want to go slow
I get worked up when I should work out instead
I feed my broken body then starve  my soul
Had my head in the clouds...when my ear should have been to the ground.

You may see the rags
But they are the feathers
I wear with pride
For they are mine
They tell a story of the journey
I Will always have in my perfect mind

When the sun fades
And all that's left are echoes of shadows
When the day seems to drag it's heels  
And doesn't want to give itself to the night
You will find a place at the setting of the sun
A place where the ribbons of safety will encircle your body
Your bones will sigh with the relief of stillness
Your skin will weep tears of sadness
Your head will be filled with the whispers of silence
Shed your lives by the river bank
let the water cleanse your feet
Let peacefulness be your home
For the full circle is now complete.

I'm leaving footprints
Although you've taken my heart
Colours left as hints
It will be hard to tear us apart

I taste a Barcelona kiss
How could I forget
A life force I will miss
I have to leave with regret

My eyes dance around this place
An indelible mark left on my skin
You are in the smile on my face
Where do you end and I begin?

Did you really believe you could just kick me in the teeth.
Try and knock my self belief?
Your attempt to punish has come as a blessed relief.
What did you think you'd achieve...
When you picked at the scars others left
Good grief... You thought I'd stay right where you left me
What lies beneath?
You will find the answer in my laughter
I believe in my happy ever after
What exactly were you after?

Always
Always did
Do now
Always will.

He would wash the sorrows from my skin
He would kiss away the pain with his lips
He would stand beside me and hold my hand
He would teach me to count my blessings
He would walk in time to the beat of two hearts instead of one
His bones would no longer ache with the bruises
His blood would flow freely from head to toe
His skin would sigh with the knowledge he'd found home

A silence grows from the remains of grief
Empty chairs where no one sits
The air we breathe a subtle shift
The light filled space
Leaves its shadow fingers trace
A whispered voice in stagnant air
Listen carefully you'll find her there

Over the hills and faraway
Is a place you can find your home
When you come to a crossroads
There is a house in the middle
Regret and despair may have been your guides
But hope and enlightenment are waiting there
Come walk with me strengthen your body
Come eat with me feed your soul
Come breathe with me relax your mind
Don't question why you are here
Just know it's right
Feel the heat rising from within
The answers have been here all the time
I will leave my old skin on the wind
I will take comfort from this beginning
And the smile that radiates from within
Thank you from the old hole in my heart
That's now sealed with a huge big grin

I am the breeze you feel on your tear streaked cheek
I am the words that are carried on the wind
I am the voice of the birds that herald the morning
I am the water that quenches your thirst
I am the fight that means you can put one foot in front of the other
I am the shadow that looks over your shoulder
I am the game you wish you played
I am the hands you clasp to pray
I am the knees you fall onto
I am the suns rays that penetrate the dark
I am the dreams that scare your nightmares away
I am the yes that answers your doubts

When you open the curtains shake of the night
Let the day break into the darkness of  your dreams
Let the sun burn a hole in the troubles of yesterday
Breathe in the newness of the hours you have been given
Let the shadows lengthen friendships strengthen
Smooth out the creases of spiteful words
Reclaim the joy of an unblemished day

In that split second everything changed
My thoughts became your dreams
My dreams your realities
A seemingly innocent look into depths of our knowledge
An insight into the life written in the stars
And the scars of a former existence
We didn't know we'd know each other again
I'd forgotten to remember you...but your eyes I have always known
They grew large in my imagination
Letting me see the stories you have hidden
You knew right then I had the key to the door
So you could realise and be thankful
for what you've been given

She was.
So I can be the person I'm supposed to be.
And the person you will become.

Saying goodbye to the day when the sun went down
The tide took with it our dreams and wishes
Of the dying souls we'd be missing
Then returned it as a gift for the living

Words fell out and danced on your breath
A sigh left the pores of my skin
Ampersands flow through my veins
Anticipation hung in the air
The possibilities lay on the ground

If I take a breath will you take the next?
I wish I had your time again.

Look into his eyes
Do you have the time
To give him the peace in your mind?

Every time you project
I think I may detect
Every time you lie
It makes me sigh
Every hurtful word
It's all been heard
When you dismiss
It's adds to the list
You play a game
One with no name
You just don't hear
Is it fear?
You've pushed me away
All there is to say
Is leave me alone
Go back home
Nice while it lasted
My life?
Time to restart it.

Don't fear the places in my head,
upon which you fear to tread.
Don't fill your mind with thoughts you dread...
Dare to dream of the best of me instead.

Open the book
Turn the page
Let The smell of the ink invite
Your senses
Let the words fill your head
With all the perfect things
You've not yet said

Yes I know what to say
I just don't want to
Let me sit a while longer
Let my fingertips freeze
Everything I touch
Stop still
Cover the clock
Hide the tick
Banish the tock
Let me drop
To the floor
I can't ignore it
Wouldn't want to
I'm alone
Surrounded by others
I'm the same predicament
Another attempt
To scratch my name
Into the dust
Of those who have walked the path
Oh what discontent

I saw you walking down the road
Yes you
with your crumpled shirt and your dishevelled hair
Hurrying scurrying wearing a blank look and vacant stare
Yes you
I saw you running then stop when you noticed me
You thought it was too early for anyone but the birds to see
Yes you
With the sleep in your red rimmed eyes
Checking your watch as the seconds fly by
Yes you
With the taste of yesterday still on your skin
Thinking just another few steps to sneak back in
I saw you walking down the road
Yes you
Head bowed with your fringe covering your face
A few more yards to turn the key to the safety of your own place
You didn't see me walking towards you
Yes me
You didn't expect to find me waiting so soon
You thought a little sleep then much later on this afternoon
Yes me
The one whose there waiting patiently
The one you know is there but you don't always see
Yes me
The one you ran into so early today
Perhaps now it's time for you to listen to what I have to say
Yes you
As you walk up the stairs to the stillness of your own bed
Yes me
If you listen to your heart as well as your head
A perfect peace you may find instead
Yes me
Next time you bump into me look me in the eye and smile
For I am your conscious...I'll be here for a while.

A silent calm had settled on her skin
She tasted the salt blown in from the sea
She heard the words whispered in the air
The breeze caressed the roses swaying to the weather's heartbeat
She walked delicately on the comfortable day
Her eyes touched the green and the blue
The time slowly ticked through her fingers
She slipped on the early evening light ...a perfect fit
She smiled a smile that said she'd always known.

My eyes said yes before the rest had time to think
Words,sentences, places, times had all come to settle
On the scales that had become my skin
A layer of protection so I could swim
Instead of sinking
Then being washed up on the tide of regret
The winds of change blew in from another direction
A power to turn every stone
To caress every single body part
To leave messages ringing in my ears
Every single muscle standing to attention
My bones anticipating a new direction
Mind free from the constraints of distraction
The breath taken from me...leaving protection
I'd shed my skin of scales
A trail glistening in my wake
Replacing them with feathers
So now when I lift my arms...
I am able to fly in your direction

Missed chances
No second glances
Rewind the tape
Can't we escape
The childhood restraints
The loud mouthed complaints
The hate filled debate
The box of constraints
The mothers tug of war
Couldn't they see what we saw?
There was so much more to give
Two lives to live
Forever entwined
What would you do if you could rewind
Turn the hands back
Minds open as hearts beat
We can't let anyone defeat
We have the full circle to complete
Why did they compete
Heart strings pulled until the snapped
Umbilical chord her discord
Like bungee rope
It left no scope
Only self doubt no hope
I walked forward with a space at my side
Something inside withered then died
I wanted you to see the resurrection
To release me from my purgatory
Was it so wrong at such a young age
To recognise perfection in our limited days
So much time treading water
When I knew where I belonged
You saving me from drowning
Whilst being a dutiful daughter
Days became weeks
Your voice pushed to a corner of my heart
I heard whispers down the years
I pulled the wool over my ears
I could still see your face
In all the places we'd been
One day you will come back for me
You were the one who I called home
My safety net my calm in the storm
So I sit with my face in my hands
As I slowly watch the grains of sand
The tide is going out you see
Maybe one day you will come back to me.

I will swim in your smile
I will bask in the sunshine of your eyes
Let me sit here a while....
Catch my breath
The breath you take from me.

When you find it
Hold on tight to it
With all of your might
Don't fight it
Or get uptight
Bask in the light
The bright lights
Take comfort in it
Wrap your self up in it
Dance barefoot with it
Throw your arms around it
Share it
So that others may believe in it
There's hope for the future in it
Memories are made of it
Smile and laugh with it
Don't ask....what is it?
You already know it
It's written in your heart
Isn't it?

Soaked to the skin
A glimpse of the body
My soul resides in
A window to the mind
I don't just write words
I live them

I saw the whole of the inside of you from the hole in your side.
I stood beside and watched you fight
Hand in hand side by side
I wanted my insides to show
On the outside
Too many downsides making up for the upsides
Everything turned upside down
My insides had turned inside out
Did my pain on the outside show
Your pain on the inside
I saw the whole of you from the hole in your side
I've let you see the other side of me
The whole of me.
That is the upside to the downside of the hole in your side.

Hug big...hug good
I know you'd hug me everyday if you could
I missed our hug
Whole body hug
A not just anybody hug
A somebody loved hug
A wide open hug
A tops of your fingers to my toes hug
I needed a hug
I missed your hug
I would hug you everyday if I could.

I would like to hang up my tired weary muscles and skin
I would pick out my 1983 coat from the wardrobe of yesterday
Take comfort in the carefree newness of a different life about to begin
The buttons badges of honour left by childhood scrapes and bruises
The pattern symbolising lessons learnt and wise words given
The collar my shelter from the rain of pain and the clouds of self doubt
The hem would allow some growing room but be tidy and protective of my raw edges
The colour bright and cheerful representing hope and possibility
I'd forgotten how well it fits...my wonderful coat called my fifteen year old self.

I could pour your smile in my tea
Stir in your laugh
Add that sparkle from your eye
Sprinkle on a dash of your humility
Clink China cups...raise a toast to you and me
Oh my...what a perfect start to my day
That would be.

By the light of a sequinned moon
She had forgotten to remember
All the stars in her eyes danced to a different tune
Her feet stepped in time to the beat of her heart
Her tears dripped on the ground he walked on
Splashing then evaporating testing and informing
Candy floss clouds could no longer sweeten
Was it worth it to worship the footprints?
Her merry go round went round and round
Her memory she saw with his seesaw swing
The helter-skelter no longer sheltered
Her childhood dreams
Time to let this caged bird swim instead of sink
In the muddy puddles of his pain full eyes
And the silent words written on his skin

I want to breathe the smile back on your face
I want my skin to be the cover for your scars
I want my hands to be the help to lift you up
I want my legs to pick up your feet and run
I want my shadow to protect you from the harsh light
Your blood runs through me...I live because of you

Wish I could float
I would hover above this broken body
A kiss would take the pain with its lips
A whisper would leave my bones in peace
A look would raise a smile on my pain etched face
I'll await a healing warm embrace

Can you hear me smiling?
Can you touch my kiss?
Can you see me talking?
Can you smell my thoughts?
Can you taste me dreaming?
I think you missed the best of me

I want to write
About
The night
You held me tight
The night
It felt so right
To write
Tonight
About
That night
Your eyes shone bright
With delight
A shining light
That night
Hold on tight
Tonight
It feels so right
Ignite
That light
About
Which I write

Time is my walk in the other direction
When you realise it's not quite the connection
Time is refusing the destruction of self in the face of others determination
Time is the ticking of blood a variation on their attempt at suffocation
Time is the reflection in others eyes
Of the pain of separation
Time is side stepping the devastation
Thank you for the liberation

Face serene in its beauty
Pain etched on her perfect porcelain skin
Smile gives away her vulnerability
Fragility surfacing from deep within

So today is the day.
I played my part
Here I stand
I want to count
The die is cast
An anxious wait
I marked the spot
I passed the test
Remembered
How to spell X

Door creaks
She didn't leave it ajar
Sealed...a moment in time
I can smell frailty
Suspended animation
I'm her creation
I can't save the suffering
Only the tears
Put them on the dusty shelf
I can see her echoes in myself

Haven't we surrendered and searched for time.
Dragged our weary bones till they break.
Seeking out solace and enlightening
Thoughts.
Sentences hidden without paragraphs, silence take.

Earth and water on which we fear to tread.
Scared of the sacrifices we have to make.
Dancing barefoot on cracked eggshells,
Letting delicate meanings have their escape.

We sigh with heavy diaphragm plagued by shallow breath.
Your image in my memory I shall not forsake.
Untie the ribbons that bind body and  heart.
Time for two souls to soar...so feel the life...  in our wake.

Maeve the brave

Descended from a long line of strong women
Rooted in the wild beauty running through her ancestors homeland
You can't help smiling as you despair
When you are awoken at some ungodly hour
This otherworldly being with a halo of golden hair... a breath of fresh air
Can't but help imagine the smile on the faces of the mothers who have gone before
She walks with the confidence and
Self belief of one who knows exactly why she is here
You can't help smiling as you despair
When you are awoken at some ungodly hour
She isn't just here...she grabs life roughly in both hands
Shakes the living day lights out of every day
A true warrior in all her glorious Colours,moods and textures
She makes you believe in a magical world where the impossible becomes possible
So when she wakes you at some ungodly hour smile and take heart
For you are in for an interesting day
With the savage beauty called Maeve