more often misunderstood than not
i dance in spectrums of gray
where right and wrong is blurred
and faded edges
complicates this maze

i get lost in my own mind
blissfully wandering off
fixating about trivial things
staring at the moon for hours
waiting for it to answer me

perhaps im too different
beautifully broken yet starry eyed
quiet demeanor with a chaotic mind
and you, unfortunately,
are too the same

oneday i will find the soul
that finds peace in all of me
and we will wonder
and wander
together

Look at me
Look at me
I'm scared into flames
And I feel there ought to be a joke round here
Somewhere
Hold onto me
Hold onto me
I'm flying into space
And I can't find anything that matters here
Nothing really matters

Flying high
Flying way too high
With nothing to hold onto
And needing nothing at all
Because everything is possible
So, let my wings glisten in the sun
For tomorrow I crash hard into the ground


                                           By Phil Roberts

i have no idea
when it started
but
i've been building
for a while now
year on year
brick on brick
everything sacred
                    fragile
safe and protected
behind the fortress walls

a citadel
for the pure
             the honest
                    the real
locked away
hidden
from the risk takers
and the hurtful

safe inside
surely...

realising too late
all i will ever see
is
brick
on
brick
while the beautiful
and miraculous
pass by
out of reach

If only I were lonely
Maybe then you could hold me
Never looking for forever
Let us never lay together

I'm sorry
I’m trying to remember
My first thoughts of the day

Thoughts
That race around
My simple mind
In the uncertain hours of the morning
When I am held
Between sleep
And wakefulness

I lie in bed
Wishing I could return to sleep
To oblivion
Yet, in my dark imagination
Giant insects
Softly pull my rib cage open
To feed on my heart

When I was young
I was free
I did not worry
The way I do now
When I was young
I was free

Worry
Worry
Worry
Worry
Worry
Worry
Worry
Worry

I turn to the distractions of life
Things to do, things to do
Things that have to be done
In order to, in order to
In order to
What
In order to what?
To move?
To inspire myself?
To inspire others?

Something is happening to me

Perhaps, I am changing
As I listen to the
Strange thoughts
That visit me
In the dazed hours
Of the morning

And I let them go
Bid them farewell

I don’t know why
They come to haunt me

And so I let them come
And I lie
In my bed
With these strange new companions

Until I arise
And move

I don’t know why
I am the way I am

I don’t know the secrets
Buried in my subconscious

But slowly I am lifting
The lid
On who I am

I wish I was rich
And could go on adventures
I wish I could purchase
A luxury yacht
I wish I could ski
Down the side of a mountain
I wish I could wear
Fancy clothes from the shops
I wish I was handsome and
Confident and smart
I wish I was funny
And such a great laugh
I wish I made music
Like Bowie or Bach
I wish, I wish
I wish when I woke up
I leapt out of bed
One million ideas
Fit to burst from my head
I wish I was eager
To get to my desk
And change all
The wrong things
To right things instead
I wish I lived like
All those stars on TV
And won crazy games
And felt totally free
I wish I was somebody
Other than me
I wish, I wish
I wish I stood taller
Than any man should
And gazed across skies
And at landscapes I could
I know that I’d probably
Live happily
If I were to turn
To a beautiful tree
I’d stand in one spot
And just focus on growing
I’d not stop to think
If my branches were bowing
I’d reach up and see
How to fill up more space
Above me, around me
All over the place
I’d make myself home
To a thousand small friends
And feed them and keep them
All round me and then
I’d live to a hundred years
Just in this way
And then I’d start over
And do it again
I’d not have to worry
About what I was worth
I’d push my roots deep
To experience the earth
I’d soak up the goodness
And push out my flowers
Expressive and easy
I’d show off my powers
I wish I could turn
From the person I am
To someone who’s beautiful
Worthy and strong
And so as I wish
For the things that I’m not
I start to feel better
About what I have got
To try to imagine
What I cannot be
Is part of the process
Of trying to break free
I guess I can settle
For life as I am
I won’t win gold medals
But maybe I can
Learn to be happy
And proud and free
And be what I ought to be
Someone like me