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  Dec 2017 chelsea jayne
Muneer
You are in love
When you are at war
With yourself
Love defies logic
Cause there is nothing logical about it
No explanations
No manuals
Just fighting
The battles of your heart
While ignoring your instincts
When they are screaming
Warnings of pain
For you to listen
To escape
Yet you proceed
While you know the truth
And here you are
Poisoned in its bliss
Fueled by a fools hope
Of fairy tales and longings
Gambling your way through life
While the ferry that carries you
Slowly sinks
Into your delusional present
Guided by your heart
Before you could make it
To your destined future
-©M
  Jan 2016 chelsea jayne
Aztec Warrior
Piano Cello Interludes*

I am listening to music,
piano with cello interludes,
thinking about you.
I hear the passionate sadness
mourning from the cello
as the piano weaves hollowness
and melancholy from black and white
minor keys.
I feel the disconnect
between the requiem’s movements
and the reality
of an alive, beating
but confused, sullen heart
fighting to be free.
~~~
It always amazes me
to hear the bow guiding the strings
in pulsing tempo
to the fingers caressing ivory
in such a way
that only a smile
can answer in return,
allowing for a kiss of life
in the midst of chaos
and death.
~~
In moments like this
I want to sit beside you,
place your hand in mine
and tell you all I have learned
and know;
all the secrets
that wander through my mind;
even those held in
dark recesses,
cobwebcluttered
and filled with spent emotions.
~~~
But I know I can’t.
Not because I don’t want to,
nor from fear,
though, to do so is scary
since it would mean giving you
my heart.
No, not because of this.
Rather, cause
I don’t think
this is what you need
or want.
~~~
Life is complicated,
complex in its existence
and it is this contradiction
between desire’s want
and equality’s need;
between what’s flesh
and what’s fantasy;
between art, aesthetics
and reality,
that guides my choices.
It’s how this contradiction
interpenetrates,
thereby shaping
and changing reality.
It is this contradiction
I hear,
feel and taste
in the weaving of piano and cello.
Music living with us in the gutter,
while enticing us to look at the stars.
~~~
I am listening to music,
piano and cello interludes,
I see vast galaxies,
nebulae,
and shooting stars,
Knowing this,
this music of you,
will last a lifetime.
~~~
~~Aztec Warrior/redzone 2.24.14


enjoy the music that goes with this poem
https://youtu.be/QgaTQ5-XfMM
I wrote this poem almost 2 years ago now,  for a wonderful, sweet friend who posted here and at WC. She was special to me and no longer posts because of personal reasons and because of harrassment. I miss her in so many ways, her poetry, its rawness and yet beautiful, her challenges and the way she has handled them with courage and the hugeness of her heart...

I wrote this on my birthday and gave it to her.. This poem is very special to me and think it is one of the best I have ever written. So, my friend, where ever you are I think of you often, miss you, and send you my love..

Thanks to all who read, I hope you enjoy it..
  Dec 2015 chelsea jayne
Mia Cleary
It is the fact that you don't notice it.
You can't seem to notice how it hurts,
even if it is such a tiny thing you have done.
I am seeing it happen,
watching it unfold before my eyes.
I know what is going on,
I know she still thinks of you,
and you still think of her.
How could you let me love you for this long,
and think about someone else.
I will not show how hurt I am to you,
you would think I am irrational.
The only part I don't understand is,
how could you let this happen so freely?
I am typing this and feeling my heart break a little bit more.
My eyes are quivering to hold back the tears.
I am writing this as I look at you.
I am writing this as you look at her.
  Nov 2015 chelsea jayne
alone again
you cant help me, theres nothing you can do
cause im already broken through and through
just leave me alone and ill disappear
no one will notice im not here
ill be a shadow on the wall
and none of you will even know at all
im breaking piece by piece
my end is nearly here
goodbye, notice im gone or not
I dont care
its just me
why would you
even care?
  Nov 2015 chelsea jayne
Kathryn Paige
I'll pretend
it doesn't hurt
to say your name,
and I will hide behind
subtle feelings
that I am too ashamed
to voice past my
bedroom mirror
at 4am with sleepy eyes.

I am not nostalgic
for the sloppy kisses or
the first time you held my hand,
but the trips to
waffle house in the late afternoon,
and high school football games
when the cold air left
our lips numb.

It all comes back
to the, "I miss you"
that is trapped
behind my teeth.

-k.w//things i'll never say out loud
  Nov 2015 chelsea jayne
Noxx
I am nothing to you
I am not the first taste
of love left on your lips
and I wont be the last

I am the breath between
the verses of your life
and
I'll never be your song

I am the faded hues
of blue in your restless
eyes
I'll never be your rest

I'm the war in your chest
war waged against my heart
never
will i love you again

I am cold autumn winds
howling in space, so please
sleep
and I will be just fine
and eyes never sleep
chelsea jayne Nov 2015
I wasn't crying because of you, I was crying because my delusion of who I thought you were was shattered by the truth of who you really are.
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