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 Aug 2014 Beauteous Beast
rufus
one day i'll tell you, dear,
what you've always wanted to hear

and from that minute onwards

i wouldn't care if you tear me apart
and break my heart

you can lead me to wherever you desire
and let every moment afire
I waited for you
Till my eyes turned white
Till the dusk became dawn
Till I froze at night
Till the rain poured then stopped
Till the wind blew and settled
Till I can't stand no more
Till your call where I've rehearsed my every word, every response, every negotiation
That I won't move
Till I'm in your hold
I won't go until you find me
I won't leave until you come
I would've stayed longer if you asked me to  
I would've surpassed all those things for you


But all I did was wait.
*I waited, waited for nothing.
4.57p.m.
I wonder,
Who else would look at the clock & think about life.
I'm tired & hungry & suicidal.
I want my exterior to be as broken
As my interior.
People only see the outside
And they don't understand what it's like
To have your mind pitch-black
And your body functioning on auto-pilot.
There's no break, no acceleration. Nothing.
You just do whatever your dark mind makes you do.

5.00p.m.
It's quiet here
With people minding their own business
Doing their own things.
I wonder,
Who else is like me
Trying to find a way back home.
 Aug 2014 Beauteous Beast
rufus
for december to end
january to forgive
february to reminisce
and march to forget
april to calm down
may to vanish
june to be out
july to stop
august to fade
september to break
october to remember
and november to last

i need to live in them first.
 Aug 2014 Beauteous Beast
rufus
.
 Aug 2014 Beauteous Beast
rufus
.
today i decided i want to live in your eyes
stay in your arms
and be with your light
**** u katy perry :(
His Down's Syndrome makes
His age a tough guess, I'll
Say eight to ten.

Wide eyes on machines,
Ice cream dripping on the
Pavement outside the

Construction site.
I wanna work like this when
I grow up,
he says in

Young enthusiasm to a mother
Whose eyes well up with
Gratitude when I approach

And kneel down in front of
Him. So you want a job,
Buddy?
I ask him with a

Wink. He suddenly remembers
His ice cream and bites into
It shyly. Nods, glancing at the

Tools in my belt, the scratches
On my arms, the brick wall
I've been attacking with a

Wacker jackhammer. Nods
Again. Well, I'll see you in a
Few years,
I say with another

Wink, this time to his mother,
Who'd look her young age if
Her eyes weren't as tired,

But you can start with this
And get some practice.
I hand
Him my Stanley Fat Max

Hammer. His ice cream
Hits the ground as he
Recieves it with both hands,

Looking to his mother for
Confirmation that it's ok.
Oh, it is. She mouths a

Thank you SO much...
They walk away, his chatter
High pitched and fading

Around the corner. And I
Head over to the foreman to
Report that I lost my hammer.

Don't ever employ me.
I can work a good game, but
I'm too soft around little heroes.
A smile
A laugh
A heart broken in half

A blade
A gun
A ******* the run

A shovel
A grave
A girl they couldn't save
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