I've given up on wishing
because that's all it ever was
And my dreams are only dreams
Since I'm never good enough

Poor and worse, the widow's daughter
Hold your tongue so it won't be harder
Work for your pay every ******* day
One day you'll move so far

Break the rules, all the things they have done
Don't tell her know she exceeds all expectations
Pots and pans, blankets, shirts, the whole house
Paint it all red to match her hard head

If you were from a different place
Maybe you could occupy a space
only big enough for you
If you were from a different time
Would you take the chance to rewind
Just to take in the view

It doesn't feel right to say that you're gone
It doesn't feel like the end of the song
I keep on waiting for you to prove us all wrong
I'll never hold a grudge again

The mirror mocks my every move
Every lump I try to smooth
The mirror cons me of my happiness
Knot in my throat, stuck like this

Dysmorphia

I feel the corners of my mouth
Like they're tied to the ground
I try to fix it, try to heal
I try to replace it, the shame I feel

Dysmorphia

Feeling visceral
Indescribable
If only I could find
Something comparable

Dysmorphia

It's a summer day, dad is coming home
How long he's been away, I don't really know
It's me and mom, he won't be long
He'll want to have his space
He walks through the door
We can't ignore the look upon his face

He says "what is this?"
He can't resist a shoe left out of place
He'll fuss and groan
I can't be home
I learn to stay away
It's not all bad, I'll give him that
But I sure can't remember the good
It feels so wrong, I know it won't be long
Until the shoe is on the other foot

It's a summer day, dad is coming home
How long he's been away, since 8:00 this morning
It's me and Will, we can't sit still
We see him through the window pane
He walks through the door
We can't ignore the look upon his face

He says "what is this?"
He can't resist a hundred snowflakes
We stapled them around the room
He said he likes it better this way
It's not all good, I never said it would
But I would choose you any day
Because you find a way to make things okay
Even when you feel out of place

If I am me because of a family tree,
that's alright with me.
But you are you in spite of the things you knew
And that's a testament to you.

Oh, the way I loved him
was the most I've ever felt
Oh, the way I loved him
made me forget everyone who's left
Oh, the way I loved him
wrote albums and symphonies
Oh, the way I loved him
made me forget he didn't love me

Oh, the way I loved him
I knew he was never mine
But god, did my heart hurt for him
Like I was running out of time

Oh, the way I loved him
could make the oceans rise
Oh, the way I loved him
could pull the stars from the skies
And put them in his eyes

I haven't seen the light since then

I feel butterflies when he walks into the room
Lightning smiles, ******* kiss, contagious confidence
His hard head and his restraint, I took for strength
And I found warmth where he touched
And it was nice to let someone else drive for once.

I feel butterflies as soon as he walks in
Verbal daggers, fierce defense, "well, so he's passionate"
My mistakes, he said he'd take with grace
But he took some warmth away
And it's worth the sacrifice to stay by his side
Because it's easier to let him drive.

I feel butterflies when he walks into the room
Phantom wings, glass to feet, maybe I don't know
My own fault, he said I'm being crazy
Maybe I'm ridiculous
But even though he gets rough
I only feel warmth where he touched
And I don't think I remember how to drive

I feel nothing when he walks into the room
Dusty squares, empty walls, open closet shelves barren
My absence, he never saw it coming
I spent decades afraid of losing all his weight
And I had nothing left
So I took the car for a drive