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Moni Apr 2018
1-800 Help me I'm dying
And I don't want to keep lying to my family and friends
1-800 depression never ends
I spend hours alone in bed,
Wishing that I was dead
1-800 I can't do this anymore
The door to happiness has can't open
And I'm left with a broken mind
1-800 My pain won't go away
I can't stand to last another day with my mind
Its like I'm blind to happiness
1-800 My tears turned to red
And my mind became flooded with joy
Of the numbness I caused
1-800 I'm done with life
I took a gun against my head,
Pulled the trigger and now I'm dead
Moni Apr 2018
Callarbones & ribcages
The only love of my life.
They made me want to strive
They were the drive that kept me alive
As I cried in desperation for their inspiration,
They were my justification for isolation

Collarbones & ribcages
No more dreams,
No more love.
My motives came from a non-existent light above
A light filled with hates and lies.
The lies that struck me like knives

Collarbones & ribcages
Exercise drills and diet pills,
The image that kills.
Because beauty is pain,
Ana will make sure you die in vain
Moni Apr 2018
It's funny how society shows us how to opress

The depressed teens and adults of this generation.

“It’s just a phase”

“I had it worse when i was a child”

“Attention seeking liar”

“Get over it”

But maybe i can’t get over it.

Depression turned my once happy stream of joyful thoughts

Into a rainy, dark pit of sadness.

A pit only to be filled with

Helplessness, insomnia, self-destruction, and a little madness.

This illness has broken me

I feel like I have to carry the burden of darkness on my shoulder

And each time I try to get better, I regress.

The only way to repress my feelings is to let

Niagara Falls drip from wrists, to my stomach, to my hips, & to my thighs

And hide it with a mouthful of lies

My inner demons gained control over my brain,

Bringing me so much pain that it became hard to do anything.

Even eating became a chore

Because it was hard to eat when I can’t even look in the mirror without fear

Of the Image standing in front of me.

Ugly, worthless, stupid

You don’t even have the drive to stay alive,

So why care about yourself or your health?

You’re better off dead.

But of course, it was all in my head, so no one understood.

No one understood that i stayed up til 4 in the morning

Having a mental breakdown, with death on my mind.

I just wish someone could reach behind my mask and find the real me

The sad me

The broken me

The mentally drained me

The me that has been drowning in my own darkness for years now
sorry if its not the best.

— The End —