life shot me into a direction i wasn't expecting
i grew up wearing dresses, and bows in my hair
but never felt at home in my own skin

i got older, and started hanging out with the boys in my neighborhood
and i realized i was much more like them than my sisters

i didn't feel "pretty"
i felt tough
and rough
and like i just wanted to be somebody else

high school hit, and by this time
i was no longer Heather
i was Trent

and for the first time in my life
i felt like i was me

my mom cried so much
saying "i'm going to miss my little girl so much, but now i finally have a son. i love you"

my dad, on the other hand, he took it differently

he said if i was a boy then that meant he could kick my *** when i had done something wrong

and he did

i never felt like he loved me
even when i was his little girl

i wasn't pretty like my sisters

i was never meant to be that girl i grew up being

nowadays i just can't keep a woman
they say the *** isn't important, but i know it is

and i'm starting to wonder
if i should just be on my own

I am Persephone;
queen of the cursed and the ******,
bogged down by chains made of
greed and desperation.
My value lies on a stained mattress;
my worth measured by the broken fingernails
left on the skin of my paychecks,
fragments of myself given for an hour of their pleasure.
I know nothing but chapped lips and blissful vacancy,
outstretched hands met with violence.
I am no longer a spring flower;
wilted beyond recognition,
I am better suited for examination under glass than
I ever was for life in damp alleys.
But for all my inadequacies,
there are three things for which I'm certain:
there's a price to pay for naivety,
innocence is a lie,
and we're not all created equal.
A pretty face is worth its weight in gold;
sold to the highest bidder,
there's no room for integrity
when wolves are nipping at your heels.
hard years have taught me this:
silver spoons nourish the undeserving
and even the virtuous come with a price tag.
We are all marred by what we do to get by, and ideas mean nothing
if wrapped in the skin of a *****.
And it makes me wonder;
which one weighs more,
a pound of flesh,
or a pound of promise.

- K.M.

nothing is more satisfying than
accomplishing something just for yourself
not because you've had a long day
but because you know you deserve something
after a long time of suppressing yourself
nothing feels better than rewarding your own body
your own mind with authentic kindness
because you know its time to be loving you

When I say that I love you,
I mean that right now,
in this moment,
I am in love with you.
I mean that I care about you.
I mean, that right now,
in this moment,
I would like to be with you for the long run.
I mean that right now,
in this moment,
I can see myself being with you forever.

When I say that I love you,
I do NOT mean that I can promise that I WILL love you forever.
It only means that right now,
in this moment,
I would like to try.
I do NOT mean that I think loving you will be easy.
It only means that right now,
in this moment,
I think it will be worth it.
I do NOT mean that I expect you to always agree with me.
I do NOT mean that I expect you to love me in exactly the same way.
I ONLY mean that I hope that you can try
to love me too.

If moving your mouth takes too much energy
then telling lies must be exhausting
because you can twist your words
to make yourself heard
but I know that you're lying.
Your voice is grating
against my ears that try to listen
for the truth between your words.
But it's too easy to believe you
and when have I ever had an easy life anyways?
You won't stop,
I won't stop,
so i'm sure we'll keep going and going around in circles
as we destroy anything that we ever had together
if we even had anything at all.
So spiral out of control
because who cares anyway!
Who cares...
Who cares?
Who...