Brenda Mukisa

Brenda Mukisa Oct 2017

Is that a game?
no, art.
i remember the first time I talked to you
i knew you were a blogger or something...
yah!... you guessed right.
our first lines
now I know more... more, more
you do not eat cake
which I could never relate too
you do not eat pizza
that can be okay....
you studied a stranger kind of medicine
the kind a twisted mind holds onto
you walked away from it
you like complexity
simple and routine is boring for you
you can afford to junk only once a year
you talk about your child with less emotion
you ask questions
not because you need the answer
but you want to know that the other party wants the same thing
you want people to tell you what they want
only because somehow you expect them to say...
they want you...
you pull away when they don't.
you are complex
you reach out and pull back at the same time
there is a part of you that wants to be chased.
or wants to tell someone simple i'm not interested.
you smile in between kisses.
you make actual conversation
not the kind that says I do not want to know
you are confusing
you are not forgettable though.....
so.....
what do you want....
happiness....good people..
what do you want....
NOTHING!
probably our last lines.

#just #because #it #lasted #*** #for #moment #doesnt #mean #wasnt

Brenda Mukisa Oct 2017

Falling

I am afraid of falling
Always have been
It is the reason I never put on heels for along time.
I find the uncertainty overwhelming.
I dread physical falling.
Yet I know that the wounds cure.
One day the pain is overwhelming.
The next you have a scar that may look beautiful even.

Its just so scary.
But most of all, I fear emotional falling.

Some people are scary.
Its easy to open up your self to them.
Emotionally or physically.
Telling strangers things you don't even tell your self.
Just one grin and you are consumed.
You cannot move on.
You feel like there is something heavy weighing on your heart.
Your heart feels heavy for some reason.

Falling is beautiful,scary, confusing....
One day you are whole and happy.
Next day you miss some one you didn't know yesterday.
You look at them the first time and you just know.
That your heart is about to get in trouble.
Then they talk to you and seal the deal.
Suddenly you know you have fallen.

And you just cant stop yourself from falling.

Brenda Mukisa Oct 2017

about us

i wonder about us
i donot know about us
i am a very sure person
with you its uncertainity
they say love is wierd
or complicated even
but how do i over come this
how do i go past this.

im tired of feeling hopeless
loveless or not sure
love is not complicated
we shouldnt belive it is
its easy
i love you
you love me back
as simple as the words are.

im tired of being told it not possible
that he may walk a way
or have a past i cannot handle
stand by and support me instead
that is what i need
not scary messages
or sad stories
let us love
let us be happy
allow me to love in peace
this is about us
me and him
not the world.
and yess, this is possible.

Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017

Empty

In a certain version of life you are full.
Fulfilled in what ever you do
Full of a certain kind of in comparable joy
Life blooms around you
Life thrives as long as you are existing.
Every one feels like their lives are and have been made whole
As long as you are involved in that life.
In that version of life...
You feel whole yourself.

This is for those who have never known this moment.
Of course they have moments of it in their heads
They get to zone out in buses or on planes
Looking out windows and imagining that all is well
That all can be well.
Imagining life as they wish it was.
It is sad and empty and terrible yet binding.
In those moments all is well
Split seconds.
Moments in time.
Moments out of their imagined dull existence
Those get to be lived in a better place created in their minds.

I chose to stand on the other end every day
If it was possible every time
But this now real version is so demanding
Feeding must happen all the time.
The body demands too much in this version
From cleaning to feeding
Protecting when it is in danger
Or treatment when it is ailing.

I chose to see a new version
Where both can exist without one tearing the other apart
Its not being needy or hard to please.
Its wanting to take this feeling away
This feeling that is so burdening and consuming
This endless need to see life from a different perspective.
A perspective where you love here and now
Not because you want to
But because its what is happening
And there are no other options
Gaps for wishing otherwise.
Or days you grad moments and want to hold onto them.

I long for a version where i do not have to feel empty
Or pretend to be fulfilled.

#lonely #is #*** #terrible #place #to #be

Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017

Savior

every one talked about a savior
apparently everything gets better when it gets here
that is what was said about Jesus
though not everyone took the time to believe.
we are born at a time of little or no faith
we long to see with our eyes
long to touch even
do we ever consider what happens after we have seen and touched

yet this time our only option is to trust and believe
or do we just sit back and pretend it never happend

i come to you with news of this saviour
yess doubt not
i have seen with my own eyes
and i've taken my time to touch and study
i cant say everything said was true or false
but don't quote me wrong
we may all be in for some surprises.
we don't ******* IBS it stuck with us through tough times
we cant say we didn't love different parts of it.
and saying bye wont come easy either.

but we can enjoy the period as it comes in
allow it to over whelm and excite us
learn from it also
and when it is settled and has sunk
thrive at this new discovery
fall in love with something new.
something obviously better.

imagination is a beautiful thing
its encouraged at every level of existence.
in this case we need to actually be ready
not imagine readiness or pretend its real.
i choose to believe that every one is as ready as me.
choose to believe and be it as well.

together lets make excellence history.
together let us allow clarity enable us to thrive.

Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017

entwined

so we didnt work out
maybe we didnt try hard enough
you with her inbetween us.
which you didnt convince me enough wasnt true.
continously promising that it was nothing
and me not believing you...

but tonight could be our last
maybe i'll never see you again
maybe thats a good thing
so i wont look for signs of you two.
so i know this is crazy
but let me caress your foot under this table
and you mine.

one last touch
one last entwinement....
one last moment.
so never doubt
I did love you.