Down a winding trail I stood;
Looking back on the way I came.
A blue bird sang in suburbia.
A younger me walked in the rain.

What a free day that must have been,
Or is it simply my imagination?
We walked down the path together;
The road of our summer vacation.

The rain has dried; the dirt now cracked.
Easier to move on than look back.
Our path now gone, and terribly overgrown.
Still, we always know this was our home.

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.

Everyone speaks of falling in love
As if its something to strive for
My screen tells me that this is what I want
And the dopamine injection is just to die for

I wanted to try it
And try it I did
I've spent 10 long years living by your skin

I wanted to try it
On myself, in fact
The self-loathing is too strong for me to love I back

Have I forgotten Autumn in a name?
Did I forget the warm blood in these icy veins?
Last year had I sung my last song on a floating memory?

Red leaves, red leaves
Falling trees, soon likened to me
Cool air on the breeze
Soothe voices that smoothly ease

Downed by the crack in the concrete
"I know its over" Morrissey sings
Oh mother,  I can hear my happiness coming back to me

When I was a kid,
And I still am in many senses,
I sat in my room

I stared into the dark and conjured up monsters
I was afraid of them, but they were welcome
If the could play nice

I read books while they watched and threatened me
I played guitar when they'd stop yelling
They would hop on my shoulders
And I'd feel their weight
So, I worked out to make my body stronger

These creatures would get bigger and stronger just like me
At one point they were so strong that I wanted to **** myself at 18
That thought had always lingered though

They dug me a hole and called it a grave
They said they were going to throw me in
And I was terrified by that
And I wanted that feeling to go away

I asked them if they wanted to go for a walk before that happened
Perplexed, they agreed
And we went along

I got to know them and why they wanted these horrible things
They were just as confused about themselves as I was about me

We stood there trying to make sense of us as a group
I realized that we were, in fact, a group
We always have been
We always will be

I'd forgotten that they were just as lonely as I was when I was in my room
I'd forgotten that they forced me to become stronger
I forgave them in that moment
A moment suspended in my reality