Is there a word for the guilt you get
when someone is being so genuinely nice to you
and it doesn't make you feel anything
when you know that it should?
This is why I don't like being around people anymore.
Ever since you left,
I've been constantly trying to figure out
if I actually still care about anyone
or if I just tell myself I do because I want to believe it.
The way that I am now is similar
to how you have been since before I even met you.
So I just want to know,
who was it that you loved?

Sick of trying
Sick of waiting
Snap it shut
Watch the dust rising
Pick up another
But your page is always marked
Makes me feel
Like a John green girl
you were like
Tyler Knott poetry
That book is closed now..
John green girls are
Irresistibly broken
You were too much to want
Don't think I deserve you
I know my tenses are disjointed
that's how you make me feel
I don't know what I can do
To stop taking you off this shelf
You were always leaving marks
In my dust

don't worry
I can fake it
I can fake my happiness
for your enjoyment