Soft as honey, hard as ice
Never mine, your honest eyes.

For I was never yours, not in the moments
When you looked at me, all soft and warm;
And you were never mine, not in the eternity
When my heart beat double-time.

We were never loved, not when we stared
Into the depths of all we hid;
Nor in those sacred moments, reverent
When we understood all we just undid.

Not in the glow of standing together,
An enduring lantern light-
For it soon ended, as it should have
In the glare of the daylight.

A yearning swallowed softly,
In the wake of reality
Never dared to be dreamt -
It fades away, leaving whispers behind.

They follow me as I work, and
Gaze wistfully out of the misty window -
As I lay in my bed, tired
Dreaming softly of worlds (not my own).

Those whispers distract, daze,
Destroy - destroy my life, built so
Tirelessly with my sweat and despair.
How could I throw away all of this,
When I worked so hard to get it?

Those whispers, they answer -
You worked for it, yes,
but you never
Wanted it.
What is it that you want?

And my traitorous mind, it whispers
(no, screams) back -
Dew-dropped meadows, sunsets that
Burn like fallen gods;
Views that steal my breath, suffocate
Until no thoughts remain.

Awe that makes me breathless, paralyzed -
A beauty so vast it cannot be
Understood.
Dawns that rise with me, falling away
Like old skin, the sun raw
On my transformed self.

Oh, I know what I want.