i realized recently that i do love my friends
that word so easily gets thrown around now
that i was never sure that other than family and those i deeply cared for
that it would ever come out
now im not trying to give some kind of old folks home rant
about how things have changed
and love doesnt mean the same thing that it used to
like it doesnt hold the same weight that it used to
when in reality i feel like it holds more than ever
it's just easier to bear now
so we say it more than ever
in a world defined by hatred
its only right for us to love each other
whether friend or brother
son, daughter
sister, father, mother
cousins, aunts, uncles
significant others
now i didnt tell my friends i loved them
because the phrase was reserved for those i couldn't live without
but honestly, not trying to be over dramatic
but in terms of my friends
i dont think i would be alive without
like i dont think i could fall asleep at night, hugging my pillow tight and smile without
like i dont think i could get up in the morning and brush my teeth, clean my sheets and get in my car and drive without
and since i know that there are people that feel the same way towards me, theres no longer this strong sense of wanting to die right now
so i really love my friends
and i let them know that every chance that i can manage
because that old folks home sermon
about how love isn't the same now
doesnt do us any good
it only really does us damage

i remember the last time we spoke
and i told you
“i’m just tired of holding onto something that isn’t there.”
and you looked up at me and said
“then let go.”
so i did.

He was in his death bed laying on his last moments
As he reminisces, he plunges himself to the past
I am dying, he thought himself
Pondering about the things he's never done
How he never swam the vast oceans across the world
Climbed the tallest mountain that ever existed
Regretting about how he never stole the stars from the night sky

Here he lays on his death bed faced against his mortality
The cold and dark death whispered across his ears
An afterlife might be waiting after him,
He might be reincarnated and live a thousand lives,
But this life will remain unlived

You’ve been there for the mistakes
     And the bad dates
          Through the heart aches
               And shallow souls
                    From the homesick fights
                         To those drunk nights
            I looked to you
            And found
Endless jokes when we spit up our cokes
Joyful nights when we worked away the fear
Cold walks where we talked till the end of the world
I told you everything between my ribs and heart
            I hope we will hold strong
            But if we slip from each others grasps
                        I just ask you
To remember