My best friend told me
the greatest lies :
that he'll never give up on ME
that we'll always be there for ME
that he'll never letting go my hand from his...
                          ...
Time has passed...
and I thought that the darkness will have my soul,
my mind,
my body,  ...
I opened my eyes and I saw a light;
I was alone... he left me behind
dying on the floor.

Even if  I was thinking that he was the best part of me,
now I not that even that one was just a lie...
because I undestand that I can  shine by myself!

I drag myself up from deep sleep, make a cup and sit
down at the table,eyes still half shut,
put the radio on,FM one twenty one and
the music drifts slowly,stirs into my coffee,
I drink and it brings me to life.
Today is a new day, a Tuesday,I'll use it up carefully
one step at a time,don't want to waste it,want to savour
and taste it,be thrilled by it,chilled by it,live through and
look back on it and
tonight when the Sun dies making tracks into my eyes,
will be a memory of a Tuesday,
well spent.

i know this is just what i'm like because this is how i've felt every time i've gotten emotionally close to someone and i don't want to tell you what's wrong and i don't want to admit that i am sad inside because you like me well enough as it is and i don't want to ruin that. i don't want you to worry about me because i know i'll be fine and i'll be better and this sadness i've felt inside for the past six years doesn't define me and doesn't determine whether or not i should be loved. if anything love is something i know i deserve and maybe will help the effects the sadness has on me but i know how it feels to be hurt and my mind tries to pick and choose certain moments to try and disprove everything that you've told me because how? i look in the mirror and i can't see what you see and although that doesn't mean it isn't there they say seeing is believing and how can i believe something i don't see? my legs ache and my stomach hurts and the emptiness in my chest wants me, begs me to find some sort of control and i can't. this isn't something that is able to be controlled or manipulated. it happens or it doesn't, and that's just it.

A tangled heart
Is a work of art
Sweet, deliberate, crochet.
Spare no thoughts
That the prettiest knots
Must all unravel someday.

You kissed me on my cheeks
whispered a note on my lips
formed a letter on my neck
not a verse to my shoulder
and on my décolletage
took such an age on a poem
penned to the energy of youth
it felt like you'd brought me
a fountain
to write me on

there was something so perfect about that moment,
the worn fabric of the cinema chairs,
the smell of stale popcorn,
your arm around my waist.
all of it became home to me the moment you whispered the three words both of us were too afraid to say for the longest time,
"I love you."

In the crowd make sure of your footing
You may get stepped on and lose balance
Landing on your face or fall backward
Fear of losing face or laying supine
Always practice the deft steps
To find a balance in the teeming populace
Trying to find a chance to trip you over
Pull back from the horde, to find your goal
You may not know what awaits you
Fate wants you to dance alone
Along the streets leading to your goal
Make sure you find your footing