i don’t think you know how i feel about you
i sent a text to my friend
explaining what i love about you
but it turned into less of an explanation
and more of a desperate outpouring of finally
thank god someone finally asked me to talk about you
i have so many things to say
i had a little too much wine
and you drank too much of a terrible-tasting beer
and you giggled and your cheeks got rosy
and i just wanted your hand on my knee
but i was satisfied with elbows.
i think about that time you spoke in honey
it was sweet before i knew i liked the sugar
but your jacket smelled like a familiar cinnamon
that i hadn’t yet realized i recognized
it was the same when you curled into me
my limbs were stiff and sore and the bed was far too small
and i was covered in a sheen of sweat
because our body heat was creating wildfires
but i still dream about it sometimes.
i can talk to you first thing in the morning
your timing has talked me out of the spiral
i love being your friend more than i have ever loved being anyone else’s
i know you worry
but you really don’t have to.
it’s not the glamour that we keep
it’s the gold.
jcl. you’re my soulmate, be it romantic or platonic. you make me better. i feel at home wherever you are.