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aviisevil Apr 2018
when it's 4 in the morning
and you still bleed
awake and cold; with an open
book you just couldn't read,

when the thought gets old and
lonely, and you continue to sleep-

caught and stuck in a world
that cuts deep,
and you didn't give a ****
when you had the time
to leave,

and now you weep,
now you feel-
it's all in your mind,
all the lies, and the bad deeds

so you seed the sky
as far as your heart can beat,
pouring all the stars down-
and drowning the sea,

it's 4 am in the mourning
and i cannot breathe
the world is about to wake up
and i cannot sleep

every lie is so ****** up,
what's mine ?
i cannot believe

what if i reach for them,
and they just get up to leave ?

sometimes i feel relieved,
when everybody's gone home
and there's nobody left to meet,
to give your life up for-
and to need

it leads you astray-
the emptiness, living off
of ashtrays and nothingness

made friends with
sadness,
waiting for the end and
the madness,

mesmerised by your love
and it's royal vastness,
your memories haunt me
and they want me-
my loyal highness,

there's so much autumn
in me, my veins - winter,
and mind scarlet-

i look in the mirror
and i guess i've forgotten me-
i don't remember you,
you look so harmless

and my heart is with you
i guess that makes them true too-
i am heart-less.
aviisevil Apr 2018
*****, murdered and tortured
and they say we'd fix this,

it's just out of order, it's not
one of our own, we cannot risk it

it's far too far from my home,
I couldn't possibly see it,

impossible impossibility, I'm losing
all my sanity, my ability to see
monsters from men, i can clearly see
how bad it becomes, when you only
care about the ends, ends justify the
means and there's no one to blame
'cause all we do is talk through paper and pen, where were we when she was taken ?
why couldn't we see, the reality
and what will it take for us to be awoken
and bleed humanity,

get our hands outside the oven,
get our heads outside in the open

I swear the world has lost
some of its colour,
I swear I can hear the sky cry,
and I can't deny, and I don't
even know why,
but I can see how it all
is being broken

inch by inch, one by one
someone preaching to sin,
somebody teaching how to bottle up all our emotions,

somebody reaching for the neck
and squeezing it until it is broken
how do you do that ?

don't they ever look back
in your eyes ?
what made you so broken ?

why is the world broken,
can somebody repair the air,
it's too toxic to breathe,
it's everywhere now and it's
just so exhaustive to see

maybe the gods have spoken
there's no silver lining and there's
no lying, the birds ain't flying
no more

everything is crashing down
all around, it makes no sound,
wakes nobody around, and nobody is ever going to come around,

this world is pathetic, and I've had it
it's automatic what I'm feeling
and I still haven't been outspoken

you haven't seen me at my worst,
but there's more to the pain when every inch of you hurts

we'll come for you,
as you did for us

I'll take no names
and I'll talk no more than you deserve

I'm just here to tell you, your seat in hell is reserved,

see you there, *****
your sight make my eyes hurt
your face makes me sick,
you are a ******* disease

my momma taught me to never
abuse anybody,
but you're not anybody, you're a ******* leech,
feeding on the *****, murdered and the tortured,
why did you do this, you sick ****, why did you have to torch her,
and eat her remains, see what you did, now ******* look, look what remains,

a world burning, pages turning, cameras clicking stains, the clock ticking,
for the next victim to die in vain,

what will it be, how could you be so blind that you couldn't even see,
a child dying, tears drying, a mother crying for the nightmares to leave,

how could you not feel, how is this ever supposed to be fine,
but I'm so numb now, it feels as if it's better not to feel,
that way at least you won't lose your mind, you've lost your heart,
and you'll lose yourself in time, consume yourself, exhume yourself,
take in the fumes when they set, forget what you thought,
you aren't caught in the storm, you're just watching through a screen,
you can mute the screams when it starts making you feel wrong,


I swear to god, if there's a god, he must be in pain,
I swear to god, if there's a god, she must be going insane,
I kid you not, we're all involved, because somewhere deep down we're all the same,
****** up monsters, and maybe a month down the drain, we're all be looking for the next slaughter, laughter,
our happily ever after, until the flames go up again,

and then we'll light a candle,
put pictures up on the mantel,

read the scriptures, give the verdict,
pull out our *****, and be a **** about it

talk mental, walk in anger,
cause everyone else is frowning too;
yeah maybe we'll even feel pain
after all she was strangled, her body
was found dismantled and mangled,

around the corner, stranded and
by the standards,

and we'll light candles,
******* candles.

to light up the night, or hide the darkness all around us ?
where are the humans ?
aviisevil Apr 2018
wait till you catch
a glimpse of the scars
hold your breath
and maybe let it all sink

after all we are who
we are;
take the rain and
drink it in,
let yourself sin,
sink

you only get to live once
you don't have to be
a warrior,
you can spend your nights
counting the stars,

see how big the sky gets
and how empty it is;

to be filled by
your dreams
as limitless as
thunder in the sky,

look in the mirror,
look yourself in the eyes;
and no more lies;

tell yourself why,
it all made sense that one
night,

not so long ago,
when the lights where
bright, and the time
was slow,

nobody was running,
nothing was
searching, everything
converging, conversing
with the conscience,

there was no science
to hold you back
you made your own;

as you walked away from home
and now it doesn't matter
what you own
you're gone and things
don't remain how they are,

the further you go, the louder
it gets, and you can almost
hear your heart beat,
you'd rather leave the world in a
heart beat,
and never look back,

you've bled what you could
bleed, and now you've slept
enough times that you've made
peace with the sleep;

your eyes have had enough
to read, and now you cannot
stop complaining,
or keep up with the world,
contemplating that they are
all just sheep,


and you've seen enough to feel,
and you've felt all there was
there to steal,

it's everywhere and it seeps
into the veins,
and it breeds a forest;

and you're lost in the
wilderness, bewildered,
ready to sacrifice

so that you can meet
her for one last time

it's in your mind
and it feeds on you
it seeks you whole

your voice is gone
those eyes blind
and the demons
dine on your soul

and now i don't know,
how to find
a world you once told me of

how do i chase the shine ?
my lungs are full,
legs cold

when does this stop,
is there a cure,
where's the doctor ?

i'm caught in my thoughts,
running away from any doors
some were locked by her,
made into walls

and now there are just
too many of them for me to climb,
and i'm not sure
of it all,

if they were ever mine,
castles and ruins
in my mind,

were they ever
mine ?

now that i am
sinking to the ocean's
melancholy floor,

and at the bottom
i find myself lying
to myself,

how i am no more,
and this is all but a dream,

and how i'll wake up
in a scream, and i shall be old.
we're all haunted.
aviisevil Apr 2018
i have no friends,
and that's not the sad part

i'm going to be alone
in the end,

walking home with no heart
filled with aliens and scars-
but that'll suffice;

there are stars in the sky
and that'll be enough
to keep me going,

as i look at the world
differently, now that i am;
apparently insane
temporarily in pain

momentarily in silence,
as the violence takes over
my infinite soul;

i count to three
and then it's four,

and then i rain,

the moment breaks
for somebody to open the door

and,
i have to go back in again
to let it all out,

and all i do is scream
and shout,

painting the walls with
my voice,
and inking the hollow
in my veins,

breeding calculations,
and bleeding my sane;

feeding hungry air
with what remains of me


reaching for the paint
so i can be a colorful ghost
when they see me howling,
at my gates,
through that one window
i could never break,

and i see,

between smiles and saints,
the miles, and the slain,
sitting by the fences
wearing a morning scent-

a night i couldn't wake
from.
what would you tell a Robot in love ?
aviisevil Mar 2018
there's so much dust in me,
dusk, and the rust,
lust and the dusk in me,
to set me alight, on fire-

so much smoke and
cold and loneliness,
the seething emptiness,
and the hollow mornings;
for the sun to rise-

the hurt in me,
always hurting me-

the words in me,
never in the right sequence
or picture;

the elegance to be,
to be, or not-
a million years of
evolution and scriptures;

mixture of chaos,
and visitors;
with their pain,
with their home,

with their bombs,
and with their gones

bones and skeletons,
sharks and teeth;

seeds and forests,
just ready to burn;
to set me alight, on fire.
aviisevil Mar 2018
somebody save me,
have me; love me;
tell me i'm living for something,

hold me, unfold me;
it's cold and lonely
by myself; tell somebody
to solve me, dissolve me
into pieces and find me
before i make a castle with
no doors or windows,

inhale walls and fences,
to fail my days for empty nights,

to sail on sand, in search
of an ocean, that bled
when i pulled out my broken heart;

take me and give me up
to the waves, as i age;
before any realisation,

give me a page and let me
be lost at the sea,
miles away from any
civilization.
aviisevil Mar 2018
my breath is blue
cold and forgettable
in this dark room
and with my eyes closed
composed of a mind
and all its follies,
that I cannot switch off;

i am lost, yes,
bless'd with a life
i never would have
known otherwise,

of minutes, mountains and
stones, wise men; a home
and sun rise,

here on this rock
me and so many like me
will die, pretending we
never would,

consuming blood and wood
even burning the forest down
'tis his kingdom, filled with
people bad and good,

some mad and filled with
scars and broken days
then there's that who
has no need for a place,
some wear stars and some
wear no face, some are meant
to die, some meant to stay

some go away never to
come back, some find
grey days soothing as they
pass by, some live
in good-byes, and some dye
themselves, some don't cry,

some won't die, and we'd
watch them live forever,
whilst we break our lies,

i live the lies too, yes,
but that's more bless'd, in
this storm of illusion,
outside this dark room
where i bleed away bits of
me, everytime i step out,

loud noises and the clock,
to break me down,

silence louder than words,
empty air for me to drown
trapped in a circle 'round
my neck,

eyes to dream me a crown,
and a mind for the countless
worthless things i've found
gagged and bound,
in the deepest layers
miles deeper than my skin
sinking, and inking my
breath blue.
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