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Ash Saveman Feb 2016
Imagining his voice,
his scent,
the way he would cup my face,
his control.

Reliving the ****
reliving the abuse

Hating myself
I did this
I should have left

A year ago
it hurts

Don't talk about it
it never happened

Scared
comming out

I was ***** and abused by my boyfriend
said he loved me

used me and threw me out for the next

took my virginity
my innocence
my body

held onto my mind
he dosen't let go

his face haunts me every day,
moving to the otherside of the world and he stays put in me

Hating myself for being *******
Ash Saveman Feb 2016
beautiful
deep
purtruding
marks
****
pain
past
anguish
memories
r­oadmaps
bodies
skin
human
Ash Saveman Feb 2016
I know a girl made out of rose petals
she has words seared into her
her heart pricked with thorns
fingers trace her skin, soft, delicate petals
it crumples and falls away, reveling a cold void underneath where she has been hurt too often;
the coldness seeps out;
the words roar to life, consume her
she falls away, gone to the wind.
Ash Saveman Feb 2016
OD
What it feels like to od

Your mind is screaming, fingers fumbling
You poor down the pills
Throat burning, but all you can think about is pooring down more

***** covers your body
Everything shaking, spinning, darking

You lose focus on everything but the white, red, and blue pills
almost patriotic

The ***** dosen't stop
you try to keep it down, but it burns it way up and out
Soon whole pills come up
this just makes you more determined to swallow more

You just want it to end, no  matter the pain
Hearing gunshots out your window, wishing it was you

Layng there, weak, covered in your own *****
then suddenly dog barking EMTs running through the house shining a Flash light in your face,
Screaming "what did you take!"
blank stare, mind too foggy
again "what did you take!"

mind reeling, stomach lurching, vomiting
screaming again
"Into the bag. ***** into to the bag, we need to analize it"

****** into and amulance
you're too young, you're too young, you're too...
**black out
Ash Saveman Oct 2015
The truth about love
Is that there is no truth
Love is a chemical imbalance in the head
It doesn't last and always leaves depression in it's wake
Ash Saveman Jun 2015
die
When all You want to do is die all you can do is cry.
Ash Saveman Jun 2015
I can physically feel the depression. Covering my skin, seeping into my bones, becoming one with my soul. It is so bad it hurts, every step I take, every smile I fake. A cut deeper and deeper. I'm falling apart again. I just passed one month from my latest suicide attempt, and yet that fights to be the top of my thoughts. Blood running down my thighs, hips, and arms. Pills knocked to the ground as I try and swallow more. The homemade noose beside me. All fighting for my attention again when all I want is the girl with red hair and enchanting eyes. I'm fighting to break loose. I'm fighting to break free, but my fighting is failing. Help I'm drowning.
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