I feel more aware
I can see it in the night air
They have ignorant thoughts
I am becoming less distraught
Understanding that
It wasn't just my fault

She stares at the bookshelf
The top is cluttered
she cannot bring herself to clean it
For she is too small
Instead cleans from the middle down
It wasn't hard at all
If only she were tall
Then again, she prefers
to be small

I think it's all too much
lately it's just been a rush
yelling to myself
"shush"
cannot speak about it
but I'm aching already
I don't know
if I'm starting to eternally bleed
these are the things
of which I cannot speak
I'm sorry if I came off strong
honestly I don't know where it comes from

lately I've just been in my feelings
trying not to say them out loud
but lately it just won't come out
bottle it up so they don't investigate
I'm trying fix all this self hate
the things that are around me just aren't great
can someone help with this self hate?
and not leave me there like an ingrate
sorry for all the things I can't complain
it's all in my head, right?
I can't even say it
so I bottle it up like it's nothing

I drown in my thoughts
You made me forget
But now I'm regretting it

Fine lines
The same old lies
In your eyes

You promised
Yet you relapsed
And now I'm snapped

I don't know if you know
But you're dazed
stuck in a haze
Won't let yourself escape

You have four beautiful daughters
Yet your mind
is on your own slaughter

I'm sorry I tried
But you ignored my pleas
On my knees
Can't you see?

You're falling
And I can't even stop it
Do you hear me calling?
All you hear is a whisper
My vocal chords are shredded
But it doesn't amount to a thing

You don't know the pain
You're bringing to yourself
All for your own game
In vain you are dying
Slowly I know it
Decaying
Time is ticking
But again
You relapsed

You promised that
Once to a girl crying on the phone
I guess you forgot that girl
Your own daughter
Just because you have free will

I don't know if you just don't care
Or if your demons are there
But I'm here
I can't watch you disappear

I love the way you smile
The way you look at me
Even when I don't see with my eyes

You have malice in your eyes
You're upset inside the fire
Or perhaps
You were the spark all along