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 Dec 2015 Ariel Baptista
CharlesC
The search for answers
to tragedies deemed
newly normal  routine..
Violence in our days
in our neighborhoods
with questions arising:
terrorism?
guns?
mental health?
Questions deal with
exceptions to what
real reality is
assumed to be
in sheltered lives..
A return is sought
to simpler days
happier headlines..
Perhaps
we need look differently
examine our looking
how we perceive
the reality we
are so sure is real..
In our looking
separation is obvious
apparent to all
no need to question
this solid reality..
Alas,our answer hides
ancient wisdom
pointing to a
persistent mirage...!
I am no longer
This version of me has changed
Who I was has gone;
I didn't like who I was,
But it frightens me, changing.
I lie to you, but it frightens me that you know.
 Dec 2015 Ariel Baptista
R
,
 Dec 2015 Ariel Baptista
R
,
“Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something.”
---Jarod Kintz
I thought I could hide:
You seemed unassuming then;
But now, you see me,
And I know you look through me—
That you know, reassures me.
I lie to you, but it frightens me that you know.
you
“you.”

a term in which I can no longer identify nor associate myself

you,

a term in which you killed with bare hands

you.

your name has dissolved on my tongue

into a plethora of words that all travel back

and crash harshly into

you.



i open up the dictionary

to find our memories

strung across the page,

i flip, with no luck.

every word, every description,

has been replaced with

you.



it’s a sweeter curse

every time I hear my own name,

spoken from someones lips

all I can hear is

you,


your voice

trailing off into nothing

2 AM, between a drag from your cigarette,

“i love

you.”
feeling like I should feel bad
experience sadness for innocents
and anger at bad people,
gun toting murderers
without care
threatening the fabric
of my burgeoning police state…
but I do not –
eyes light up at daily headlines
unwound minds blindly destroying.
human land mines, primed and
in line at your local grocery
mostly just waiting for that moment
when they can really show them
all –
I call this the road to the end
humanity’s demise realized
live on the five o’clock news
nightly…
it’s alright we lie to our children
telling them sleepily not to hide
and abide the tide of rising
genocide
on the young and dark skinned
who are destined to win in the end
when those left on the planet
share similar skin
let me begin, again –
last punch I threw
was in 2nd grade
got hit in the face in 6th
but didn’t make a fist
already leaning to a pacifist
in the mist of my drunken
father’s fists.
shot a deer in my 15th year
and put the gun down for the fear
of some cosmic shear…
still ate meat without feeling defeated
but cheated myself by disguising these choices
as voices in my head…
with an unruly hand planning on writing poetry –
but I love the disillusion
the growing confusion
that is a fusion
of people in sheep’s mindset
letting psychopathic dictators
dictate their lives
pill popping wives in new-age beehives
naming children ‘Chandelier’ and ‘Compromise’…
I accept my sociopathy
and embrace myself as a dying race
those willing to face the truths
and not try to sooth the pain
while knowing these are the last days
and sit amazed
while blazing legal marijuana –
 Dec 2015 Ariel Baptista
Lexie
the rules
the boundaries
they all seek to constrain

the words
the hate
they all drive me insane
You were bright wildflowers running through forest green fields,
showering the world in sunshine, and I was the rain.
I was dark nights filled with rolling thunder and electric energy, and you were peeking through the clouds with your sunbeams.
Lilac skies and shady trees, I decided that purple just wasn't my color.
But who could ever want a sunflower in a bush of roses?

You were bright early mornings with rubbed sleepy eyes, and coffee with sugar, while I was black.
Tasteless and bitter, your cheerful moods sent me spiraling, and I was grasping for the misery that always kept me company.
Your words were sweet, like sugar, and left a bad taste in my mouth, like a poison I downed to drive out the sound of your voice in my head.

You grew flowers inside my lungs, and although they are beautiful, I can't ******* breathe.

I'm gasping for air, air, the lone reminder that I am free.

I was dark hair and dark eyes, with a heart that was chained to my independence.

You were so bright, and I destroyed you in fear of losing another.

But this universe is vast, and this earth is small, and instead of exploding, I concaved.

You should have known better darling, *I'm just a black hole.
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