will the birds sing or sit in a string discussing theories on a wire?
too tired for repercussions from prior trials by fire,
so they pile the pyre and sing for the choir
while the liars catch wildfire to a dire count of 4-5-1
by a child with a drumstick instead of a thumb in his mouth.
you can hear the percussion through his stomach for crying out loud.
are the parents proud of this juvenile behavior,
have they vowed to reconcile with its nature?
are they beguiled by how it reviles exile
but every now and then goes the extra mile?

© Matthew Harlovic

dear adam,
you were my first love
i'm not sure if you loved me
as much as i loved you
but God did i love you
the world began with us
isn't that amazing?
even in the crevices of our  
makeshift beds weaved out
of lazy limbs and hazy intentions
even if i felt your heart didn't beat
for flesh such as mine
i loved you i loved you i love you
maybe i'm sorry i wasn't enough
but i know it wasn't me
i know you wished the world
didn't begin with a boy and a girl
being told to love
as if love was easy
i'm sorry i knew that maybe
you wished there was a choice
i knew that you wanted more than
soft sighs and long hair
maybe you wanted someone
who fit you the way your own gods told you
your own gods being your anatomy
your every nerve telling you
this isn't right
this isn't the natural order of things
i'm sorry i didn't pray hard enough
i was happy to have a part of you
even if that part included your dreams
of someone like you
of someone much different than i
we will never know now
and that's the saddest part
even when sacred texts chronicle us
as being an eternal pair
that brought paradise to flames
i do not regret following you into hell
i would bite into the universe
again and again and again
if it meant for the freedom
that came along with shame
if it meant that the world could be
what you wanted it to be
i would navigate every circle of hell
i would find every vision of the devil
if it meant you could love who you were meant to love
i love you adam
the world began with us
and maybe that's why the world is so scattered
two scattered souls don't make for a very good world
now our children run around loving and hurting
just as we did
but you lived a good life and you knew that
you were always the good one
i was always the one who wanted to be more
and you always forgave me for that
we were a strange love - you and i
so perhaps let us forgive ourselves
after all
we are only dirt breathed by God
we had no say in our genesis
that isn't going to change now
love and everything else,
eve

How do I explain to people that when I say I'm tired I don't mean I'm sleepy
I mean living is exhausting and I need a break
But that's just it isn't it?
I can't explain it to anyone
No one will understand
The darkness I lost myself in has me chained and I will not fight for freedom
I'm weak and fragile
My demons refuse to let me baptize myself in the happiness that everyone seems to be drenched in
And the worst part of it all is my peers think I'm happy
They see my smile and hear my laughter
They are blinded from my trembling lips and deaf from my screams
And don't get me wrong I know I'm not the only one
But those who suffer as I am fail to realize it's not just sadness
It's so much more
It's like I'm burning alive with no one to save me
The struggle is unnoticed
And even though I have so many people who care about me I feel as if I have no one because the person I want to be here for me isn't
This battle to live when I want to die is breaking me
I only live so the one I love most won't feel alone
But that loved one fails to realize I'm suffering most
I just need the drugs and the pills
I'll spend my days smelling of ciggerates and sleep
But forever isn't promised and the bridge is sketchy
If I fall just know I held on as long as my insanity let me

I send these phrases,
shimmered gold,
of smiling moons
and stories told

Midst evening skies
and midnight dreams
in whispers soft
on stardust beams

Poetic verses,
glistened glare,
a falling star,
a wish to share

Of mystic realms
in twinkled light
and promises
aglow this night

So when you gaze
this summer eve
upon these stanzas
I now weave

You’ll find the
crescent moon above
illumines you with
all my love