Crushed to the core,
sinking like an anchor,
To the floor.
Pull me from the depths,
drowning in the wreckage,
of a wounded heart.
Feel the blood from a punctured lung,
tears, screams all around,
drifting in the water below.
Breathing in water through your nose,
but when you rise,
you rose to fill every expectation.
Everybody has an expiration date,
this time I’m not gunna fight,
to find a way out,
cuz I’m tired of being a fighter,
Yeah hold up a lighter.
In loving memory,
of everything we shared,
they gave me more, than I could bare.
And now there is no flare,
to light the skies.
God gave me hope, gave me strength, to carry on.
But you can only keep going, on for so long.
It was in the way she talked,
and in the way she walked,
that the poisonous fumes,
from the scent of her perfume,
Stunned and trapped me in your love.
Got tricked, into a trap,
I’ll never escape from.
Take a flying leap of faith,
Into the ocean and rocks below,
See if I can overcome the pain,
The pain of the day, she walked away.
Swallow all my pride,
learned everything from a beating heart,
that shined so brightly in the dark.
Nobody likes to be alone and apart,
yeah lock my love in your mind,
know that what was mine,
you’ve inherited all of the stars tonight.
Because without you, they just won’t shine.
That means I’ll be walking blind,
so light up everything we have inside,
I’ll be your angel wings in flight,
I’ll take you flying through the skies,
yeah baby blue eyes,
I called her baby blue eyes.

©2017 Written By Benji James

You built me a ship with your own two hands
Which I over analyzed to try and understand
To see things better, I used your magnifying glass
But recklessly, I burned holes in the mast
With nothing left to hold up the sails
I had to find a new way to wander my trails
So I've left the boat, the water, and the cold, rocking sea
To continue on foot, towards a much better me
As it turns out, I wasn't meant for the skies
Nor for the ocean, and all of its tides
Because I was known for getting too high
Or for getting too lost, with no safety in sight
But finally I'm grounded, satisfied at worst
Comfortable in my surroundings, it feels like a first
I'm walking towards something, instead of floating around
I'm carrying tunes instead of just making sound
And though it's no longer here for this part of my trip
I wanted to thank you for building a ship

The crypt is one thing I see,
A mirror that reflects me.
One that lives is one who hates.
One that died is one love waits.

When no one is there for me, where do I turn?
Why must I grovel for what I have earned?

How I seek and find you - you who always cares!
When no one else is there for me, will you still be there?

I come to you in sorrow, in anguish & in pain
hoping a solution from you I will gain.

We've been together in sadness and in joy.
I come to you because you know: the heart is not a toy.

You know when I am joking and when I am not.
When in depression I am soaking, by you my happiness is sought.

You're always there - through thick and thin.
If I had a "friend contest" you would win!

You're always there - day after day
When I have a problem, you know just what to say.

When I need someone, I turn to you
When I want to share my joy or when I'm feeling blue.

Will you always be there for me though?
If our lives go through changes, please don't go.

When no one else is there for me, will I still turn to see
your caring, loving, friendly smile loyally there just for me?

© 1998

From your neck
Crawling its way up to your head,
Like a river cutting across soft land
The pain follows upto your brow .
You squint your eyes
And shake your head,
The pain taps your mind.
This is the pain from hopelessness
There is no escape, feel it,
Embrace it.
Pray that it busts your head open
And your brain splashes across your bed.
Pray that you evaporate
That you disappear,
Leave back a stain
For that is what your life has been.

You lay on your back
Silence broken by the blood
Running around in your otherwise limp body,
And you hear a screech, a whisper
A mocking?
You turn your empty
But strangely heavy head,
You see the creature
whose children you killed that evening.
You had hunched over the broken egg,
Its insides now spilled outside,
And the other one still lay across.
You had nothing to do,
You wiped the goop that could be life
With a torn bit of paper ,
Haphazardly poured water
And wiped again.
Who would say
The floor had seen death today.
The other egg you rolled to the side,
You knew the creature would cry tonight.
You went about with your life.

The creature is swelled up again,
You noticed
Life would get a chance again,
That is how it works you wonder,
But she must be furious
You see her staring at you.
You are sorry you say.
That's all you had to say
Until today.

Today you are thinking of striking a deal with her
Today you will ask her
To spill your head open
The way you had spilled her egg.
You will ask her to give you peace,
To give you your awaited escape
And in return she can have her justice.
Tell her you can be killed,
All she has to do is drop you
From a height
The way you had dropped her egg
From her home, your rolled mattress.
The only difference you had no intention
Of taking away someone else's life
But your own.
So today ask her to correct your mistake.

My blood will be wiped
My stain will be removed
Someone else will take my place.

You can call me Ella because i'm enchanted by you.
The way you are and the things that you do.
You never see anything you don't want to.
I wonder if you're enchanted too.

You can call me Ella because i'm cursed.
But the magic here is a spell that can't be reversed.
I'd like to ask my fairy god mother if she knows she gave me the worst.
I wonder if she knew with her gift my life would burst.

You can call me Ella because I live in a fairytale.
Waiting for my prince to come and love to prevail.
I wonder when my fairytale will fall.
Because there's no such thing after all.

Where do I start ?
How come my Life has completely fallen apart ?
Which emoji face should i pick from the chart ?
I feel mad, sad, and overwhelmed. Constantly switching faces ever since the start.
Who have I become?
Why do i feel so dumb?
I hear his shaking voice in my head, "I feel so comfortably numb".
Signs and symptoms of the mentally ill.
All this weight has pushed me to ****.
All for the thrill.
Clean up on isle six, we got a spill.
Melon chunks all over the floor.
I tried to knock but you wouldn't answer the door.
Now look at all the Caution tape wrapped around this store.
Money is the root of all evil and you are its *****.
Cleaning up brains is now an everyday chore.
Too many victims to keep track of the score.
Why am I writing this?
I've read this once before.
Deja vu smoking with pepe le pew. Please take me back to the good ol days that I once knew.
Happy days that feel so true. Memories lost out of the blue. Leaving its waste in a trail of lies.