Can't they see I don't fit them?
Or do they just wanna prove how kind they are?
Like seriously?
I'm sick and tired of all the in house drama,
I can't fake those smiles anymore.
I can't!
But surely they can,
And will always do that.

I bet they can survive without me,
And it's gonna be hard for me.

But do I have a choice?
No.
The answer is NO.
What if I don't make that choice now,
Would it hurt?
Yes.
Making a choice is truly a choice,
And I have no other but this.

Faking a smile,
Faking a laughter,
Faking a friend,
Faking to be who I can't be.
Guess what, I'm done with them.
Like seriously done.

Can't they just come,
And say,
"We don't need you",
I would readily walk away,
Without complaining.

"BEST FRIEND", they tagged me,
Did they really mean it?
"We TRUST you", they said,
Did they really did?
"We NEED you", they told,
Did they really needed me?
These questions still remain unanswered,
And the funny part is,
They are gonna remain unanswered for forever.

"Stop!", I say to myself,
Stop being who you are not,
Stop being that rude to yourself,
Stop hurting yourself,
Stop.

And that's how she died,
With some unanswered questions in her head,
With that fake smile,
With that untrusted soul,
With the tag of fake Best Friend.
**With her soul which was pure, yet misunderstood.

For the first time,
When I saw her,
I don't know what her expression was,
All I knew was,
I was alive in a new world.

With tiny little fingers I touched her face,
And her soft lips pressed against my forehead.
And I for the very first time felt safe,
And secured in her arms.

I was growing everyday,
From a day old baby to an older one.

She was,
The first one to hear my voice,
Giggles, laughter and the cry,
The one who used to have sleepless nights,
The one who taught me to take the very first step,
The one who took care of me better  than anyone else.

The conversations we had,
We're less of words,
Yet more of understanding,
She understood me,
Without me explaining.

Time was taking a swing,
And she had been watching,
Watching me grow,
Watching me learn,
Watching me rise,
And yes, watching me fall.
Falling, for me, was a big deal,
Yet she was the one to make me rise  for once and for all.

The little arguments,
Her scoldings,
Her love,
Her smile
The little teamwork we did,
Were the most of which I enjoyed.

For me,
She was my world,
And her arms were the boundaries where I would lie.

This little angel grew up way too fast,
For her to realise.
This bond which I share with her,
Is on a never ending journey!
No matter how old I would grow,
No matter how much a mess I am,
Yet the one person,
Whom I would always call upon,
Would forever be *Maa!

With constant arguments they ended the day,
The silence had prevailed the dawn.
Her eyes were wet,
His mouth was shut,
But the silence spoke that night.

Every second they had spent there,
Turns to be witness of their love.
There was a humble piece of joy,
When she looked at him,
And she saw him smiling,
Nothing could stop her from smiling way back to him,
The arguments just now created a deeper love,
Affection which was already all set,
Care which was already there,
Turned in laughter of joy.
She couldn't resist laughing,
With tears in her eyes,
She laughed like she didn't care.

The silence was now filled with the sounds of giggling and laughter,
And them,
They seemed to have been back again,
On the road they have had started the journey,
With much love,
Some arguments,
Little fights,
Some offensive words,
A bit of play around the house,
Chasing each other till one had the side of mum,
Throwing things on each other,
And running all around the house with less of shame.

They had proved,
Nothing could replace their bond with each other,
They might have fought many a times in a day,
Or just once,
But they still cared for each other more than anyone else.
Siblings , they were called,
*Yet they too had a LOVE STORY.

The knock on the door was the last thing,
And the door was never ever opened again.

The very new chapter had begun,
And now the old was closed forever.
The fantasy,
Wild dreams,
Laughter,
Was it there to be?

Taking a deep breath,
She opened the door,
This time it was a new one,
Smiling she stood,
With Kohl in her eyes,
Hairs perfectly a mess,
With smile to make the world still.

Holding on to her dreams,
With some new beginnings,
A happy heart,
And maybe a new start.

She was strong enough to go on,
To move on with it.

Her wild dreams had a new destination,
Destination which was unknown,
And the road which took her there,
Was a mystery on it's own.

She was a world in herself,
The world which had no boundaries,
Where there was archaic,
Where she was the queen of her very own dreams,
Where the gestures were the best way to interact,
Where happiness was the key to love,
Where being you was important.

So she took her first step forward,
And she was ready to rise high,
And to fall,
And still smile,
Because this time it was she who had decided,
By looking back to the time,
She must smile upon her flaws,
And still rise above all.

And the knock on the door was never heard again,
And now the door was open once and for all.

I have had wanted your presence,
But that seems to fade away.
The reason behind my smile was you,
And you are going away.
What was it that made me stay?
For you had always done things which had made my heart cry.
I had tried every way I could,
But you seemed to fade away.
Maybe you were not meant to be with,
Maybe was the end.
The end of the relation we share,
The end of the silence which was a scream from my heart,
The end of my feelings for you.
I never wanted to be that tough on you,
But you gave me no choice but to leave you.
I could have waited a bit more,
If you had shown me a bit of interest,
But there were you,
Without any sign,
For I had already waited this long,
And now I was frustrated,
Frustrated of this one sided relationship,
In which you showed up one day and you were long gone for the rest.
Frustrated of telling myself that you would turn up,
Frustrated of the silence,
Frustrated of the love.
It's better that we stand apart,
Because it's no good to be together by now.
So here's she signing off,
Leaving you with a small world of beautiful memories and moments to smile,
And picking her bits of soul that she left with you,
To fix her broken heart.

It's winter,
And I lay there on my bed,
Imagining things in my mind.
Wondering what love is?
Maybe it's friendship,
Maybe it's trust,
Maybe it's care,
Maybe it's a sin,
Maybe it's lust,
Maybe it's an adventure.

I still lay there,
With much confusion,
Somewhere I feel it's the people you get along which make you fall in love,
Maybe it's the happiness you get when you are with a certain person or when you do a certain thing,
Maybe it's standing up for people,
Maybe it's the true feeling you carry for someone.

I couldn't still understand,
What love was?
For I had heard stories of people being in relationships,
Where there was a bit of trust and lots and lots of pain.
And I wonder,
Is this what people define love to be?
I was afraid of love after all these,
Because for me it was happiness till then.

So I was finally at a conclusion,
Love,
Seems a small word,
A word which maybe be defined by infinite people in infinitely different ways.!
So here's my definition of love,
It's not the attraction,
It's not about being physically involved,
It's not about sadness and depression.
It's all about caring,
All about happiness,
All about trust,
All about holding on,
All about being there,
All about being alive in your own way,
All about being who you are,
All about accepting your flaws,
All about giving a chance,
Maybe it's the wait,
Maybe it's the silence,
Maybe it's the constant ways you try and find time for each other,
Maybe it's you.

I still lay there,
With a smile on my face,
Thinking,
I have defined LOVE,
But for sure,
It's more of MAGIC.!

When you walk past in silence,
You are ready to face the world with your views.

When you look at sky high,
You are ready to rise high.

When you don't feel the need of others,
You are ready to face what it feels like when you fall.

So here you are with your fears and flaws,
You know what it is,
You know you'll be able to stand up again,
You know you'll fly again even higher.

You have a satisfaction,
You are happy for the way you have grown,
You are sound now,
And you smile, without any regrets.