I have had wanted your presence,
But that seems to fade away.
The reason behind my smile was you,
And you are going away.
What was it that made me stay?
For you had always done things which had made my heart cry.
I had tried every way I could,
But you seemed to fade away.
Maybe you were not meant to be with,
Maybe was the end.
The end of the relation we share,
The end of the silence which was a scream from my heart,
The end of my feelings for you.
I never wanted to be that tough on you,
But you gave me no choice but to leave you.
I could have waited a bit more,
If you had shown me a bit of interest,
But there were you,
Without any sign,
For I had already waited this long,
And now I was frustrated,
Frustrated of this one sided relationship,
In which you showed up one day and you were long gone for the rest.
Frustrated of telling myself that you would turn up,
Frustrated of the silence,
Frustrated of the love.
It's better that we stand apart,
Because it's no good to be together by now.
So here's she signing off,
Leaving you with a small world of beautiful memories and moments to smile,
And picking her bits of soul that she left with you,
To fix her broken heart.

Caging her would mean cutting down her wings,
And maybe the world wouldn't care,
Because she is just a girl wishing her dreams will sooner or later come true,
Wishing that the morning she wakes up to is new.
Why is that I suffer this suffering?
Questions the heart to the suffering soul,
Maybe this is the prize you pay for that nature of yours,
Replies the soul with the shivering tone,
Have you ever wondered what made you this way?
Just some handful of habits and the constant thought of helping around.
Maybe all this won't make you stay long for the sooner days to pass along,
Ever wondered what will happen to this dying warmth?
Stay alive and be strong,
For the strom will pass as you go on,
Keep the head high and walk on,
For you'll never be cagged if you keep believing strong.

Maybe this was the last time,
That we were together.
Maybe the smile on your face,
Was the last thing I saw.
Maybe the words you spoke,
Were the last thing I would be hearing from you.
Maybe the joke you cracked today,
Was the lamest,
Yet the only thing I would be carrying with me.

Can I get any more of any of it?
Gosh no!
Can all this last forever?
And never end.
So that we could still be together,
So that we could still be us,
So that we could still laugh like we didn't care,
So that we could still crack those silly jokes,
So that we could still be the last benchers,
So that we could still annoy each other,
So that we could still sing those random songs together,
So that we could still be the best team together.


When you were on the edge of failing a test,
And was still smiling,
Was the best part of it.
When PTM's were just like any  regular days!
When scoldings,
were as normal as drinking a glass of water.
When eating your friend's lunch,
Was the best thing to do,
While you brought something you didn't like.
When snatching lunch,
Running all around the class,
And the fight for the last bite was like a war.
When early morning games in the assembly ground,
Was our favourite.
When the ugly fights between the game,
Were just meant to last for a few minutes.
When nicknames were wicked.
When benches had a line drawn on them,
Assuring ones territory.

Those memories,
Those times,
Can't we just freeze it?
So that we could still be the best together,
And look at each other the way we did before,
And still ****** each others lunch,
And run, up and down the beaches,
**And still have the same fun.

It's winter,
And I lay there on my bed,
Imagining things in my mind.
Wondering what love is?
Maybe it's friendship,
Maybe it's trust,
Maybe it's care,
Maybe it's a sin,
Maybe it's lust,
Maybe it's an adventure.

I still lay there,
With much confusion,
Somewhere I feel it's the people you get along which make you fall in love,
Maybe it's the happiness you get when you are with a certain person or when you do a certain thing,
Maybe it's standing up for people,
Maybe it's the true feeling you carry for someone.

I couldn't still understand,
What love was?
For I had heard stories of people being in relationships,
Where there was a bit of trust and lots and lots of pain.
And I wonder,
Is this what people define love to be?
I was afraid of love after all these,
Because for me it was happiness till then.

So I was finally at a conclusion,
Love,
Seems a small word,
A word which maybe be defined by infinite people in infinitely different ways.!
So here's my definition of love,
It's not the attraction,
It's not about being physically involved,
It's not about sadness and depression.
It's all about caring,
All about happiness,
All about trust,
All about holding on,
All about being there,
All about being alive in your own way,
All about being who you are,
All about accepting your flaws,
All about giving a chance,
Maybe it's the wait,
Maybe it's the silence,
Maybe it's the constant ways you try and find time for each other,
Maybe it's you.

I still lay there,
With a smile on my face,
Thinking,
I have defined LOVE,
But for sure,
It's more of MAGIC.!

Dim lights,
Slow music,
The best place to be in,
Was there in your arms.

Eyes were meant to be shut,
Hands were meant to hold,
And words were meant to be silent.
Can it get any more amazing?
Holding on to each other,
And dancing to the mild wild genre,
And smiling like you didn't have any regrets,
Were eyes had a constant connection,
And heartbeats were the only constant rhythm to dance along.

Holding on to you,
And that smile which lit my face,
Had a deep meaning.
Was it that I was happy?
Or was it that you completed me?
Summing up things in my mind,
I smiled again,
This time it was because,
I knew what it was meant to be.

Many had knocked,
Yet, this heart  had opened the door just for you,
Cuz it knew,
That the fuel which was needed for survival was you!

If it's love,
Then why is hatred a part of it?
If it's trust,
Then why is denial and lying  a part of it?
If things weren't things,
And people weren't people,
Then what sense did emotions make?
Let me take you to a place,
A place called paradise,
Where the mountains sing choruses,
Where the night dances ballet,
Where the wind has peace,
Where the waterfalls blooms the flowers,
Where you can have a walk in clouds.
But what if I say,
There's no such place,
Would that hurt you a bit?
Trusting was denial,
And loving was hatred,
But dear,
What if, the life you were living was an illusion?
Illusion ready to strike you hard,
Illusion ready to smash you hard,
Illusion ready to make you forget the whole start.
If it was love,
Then hatred was not a part of it,
If it was trust,
Then denial and lying were miles away,
If this wasn't me,
Then maybe I was your illusion, throughout the way.

I wish I could have been a bit more selfish than I'm now, so that I could live the life my way,
I wish I had a little more courage than I have now, to face the people who come in my way everyday,
I wish I could have told people what it felt like when I was with them, so that they could have stayed a bit longer with me,
I wish people had not taken me for granted, so that I couldn't have shown the awful side of me,
I wish we talk like before, so that I could still share those secrets with you,
I wish life would have been more beautiful than now, if I had you by me.

I would be gone,
Gone very far away from you,
You won't be able to find my existence  anymore,
I would be gone.
The time which we spent will now be a memory,
And I would like you to remember me for all those smiles which you gave while we were together,
Sooner you'll realise that I'm gone.
I don't know if you'll ever try to find me,
If you would ever search for me,
But I would be gone.
My silence would be my presence,
And the stupid **** I talked would be just words,
Words which you'll never ever hear again,
Words which were the strongest thing I ever held,
Now seem to fade away.
The voice will fade away,
And soon I would be gone.
The love for you would always remain in there,
And I would be happy enough if you would retain it.
For long time, as soon as the world would be ours,
With no complaints,
I would stay there in your heart.
I'm gonna go far off,
And my presence would be an empty slot in your arms.
And then you would look back,
But I will been long gone.

Today letting go was not easy,
There was the moment,
When I actually didn't wanted to go,
I didn't know what were you thinking,
But all I knew was I just can't let you go this early,
Today for once you spoke something more than a few words,
Today you made my face glow a bit more,
I might just be your friend,
But for me you are a bit more than that,
I know this is completely insane,
But yes that is what I feel for you.
I might say it doesn't hurt,
But yes it did hurt when I saw you go,
I remember the constant turns I made to see you go,
I remember that you just stood there just to see me go,
And there was you, coming through the parking lot,ordering me to go,
And I stood there on the stairs,smiling,
We didn't say a word,
But we could feel what the other wanted to say,
And then it was time for a good bye till next morning,
We somehow managed to say it,
But I over there wanted that moment to stay,
It soon ended with a smile on my face,
But unfortunately you weren't there to see me at that state.

For the first time,
When I saw her,
I don't know what her expression was,
All I knew was,
I was alive in a new world.

With tiny little fingers I touched her face,
And her soft lips pressed against my forehead.
And I for the very first time felt safe,
And secured in her arms.

I was growing everyday,
From a day old baby to an older one.

She was,
The first one to hear my voice,
Giggles, laughter and the cry,
The one who used to have sleepless nights,
The one who taught me to take the very first step,
The one who took care of me better  than anyone else.

The conversations we had,
We're less of words,
Yet more of understanding,
She understood me,
Without me explaining.

Time was taking a swing,
And she had been watching,
Watching me grow,
Watching me learn,
Watching me rise,
And yes, watching me fall.
Falling, for me, was a big deal,
Yet she was the one to make me rise  for once and for all.

The little arguments,
Her scoldings,
Her love,
Her smile
The little teamwork we did,
Were the most of which I enjoyed.

For me,
She was my world,
And her arms were the boundaries where I would lie.

This little angel grew up way too fast,
For her to realise.
This bond which I share with her,
Is on a never ending journey!
No matter how old I would grow,
No matter how much a mess I am,
Yet the one person,
Whom I would always call upon,
Would forever be *Maa!

Sitting on the rooftop,
While watching the sun set into the sea,
All I could wonder was what made me me?
Was it the heat of the sun,
Or the soothing feel of the moon?
Was it the bonfire,
Or the icy glaciers?
Was it the soothing breeze,
Or the harsh wind?
Was it the calm sky,
Or the thunder?
Was it the spring mornings,
Or the chilled nights?
Was it the perfect days,
Or the painful nights?
Was it the fun with friends,
Or the lonely times?
Was it the emotions,
Or the emotionless circumstances?
Was it the times I decided to shut people,
Or the times I welcomed them?
Maybe what made me,
Was somewhat like the changing colours of the sky while sunsets,
That is,
Maybe what made me was all of the it,
Maybe I had everything in bits,
Maybe what made me was me,
Me as in,
An emotion on its own,
A feeling on its own,
A world on its own,
A milestone ready to change when achieved.
There were no signs of the sun by then,
But there was moon,
Though I could still feel the presence,
Maybe that was something it wanted to teach,
Even if I am not there,
You could still feel me,
If you know me.
Maybe that is why you and me are self-made,
Because at the end it's either you or me,
Not the two combined!

Remember the time,
When you stood right behind me,
Watching me enjoy the limelight.
The time when I acted stupid,
But you brought the right words to my sight.
The time when I refused to work,
But you kept pushing me to do so.
The time when I had given up on myself,
But with those harsh and emotionless lines you made me believe in who I was.
The time when everyone left,
But you stayed.
The time when I kept arguing over wrong statements,
And when you knew how to counter me with the right one.
All this time long,
You stayed and believed.
Maybe we never realised,
Maybe we never knew.
But this world had these two kinds,
Sherlock and Watson.
Each one searching for the other,
Sherlock's searching for Watson,
Watson's searching for Sherlock,
Maybe they are fine alone,
But maybe they are best when together.
Maybe a Sherlock would have never enjoyed the limelight,
Maybe he would have given up on himself way earlier,
Maybe he would have not been he.
But then Watson made it all happen.
Maybe that is how it works.
*Maybe one day we'll find our Sherlock,
Or maybe one day a Watson would find us.

With constant arguments they ended the day,
The silence had prevailed the dawn.
Her eyes were wet,
His mouth was shut,
But the silence spoke that night.

Every second they had spent there,
Turns to be witness of their love.
There was a humble piece of joy,
When she looked at him,
And she saw him smiling,
Nothing could stop her from smiling way back to him,
The arguments just now created a deeper love,
Affection which was already all set,
Care which was already there,
Turned in laughter of joy.
She couldn't resist laughing,
With tears in her eyes,
She laughed like she didn't care.

The silence was now filled with the sounds of giggling and laughter,
And them,
They seemed to have been back again,
On the road they have had started the journey,
With much love,
Some arguments,
Little fights,
Some offensive words,
A bit of play around the house,
Chasing each other till one had the side of mum,
Throwing things on each other,
And running all around the house with less of shame.

They had proved,
Nothing could replace their bond with each other,
They might have fought many a times in a day,
Or just once,
But they still cared for each other more than anyone else.
Siblings , they were called,
*Yet they too had a LOVE STORY.

When all of a sudden,
A person makes you feel so comfortable,
That you start and end your day with them.
You have got no idea about what's going on and you end up being more than best friends.
There is this relationship,
Which is more of understanding,
More of emotions,
He knows what I want without me saying it.
The very eye contact we almost everyday avoid so that non of us could see that we adore them.
The silence is more than enough to say words.
I know you are a bit more sensitive than I'm,
I know you are a bit more hurt than I'm,
But trust me ,
I would love to heal all your pains,
I would love to spend my life with you.
But the fact is contradicting.
I know you respect me,
I know you adore me,
But at the same time you think I'm far too perfect to be with.
Which at some point hurts me.
But still there is some hope,
That one day you'll understand the love I carry in my heart for you.
I may not say things,
But I care,
I may not show,
But I feel.
This relationship is way ahead of what is called a "relationship".
It does not needs any words, any explanations.
All it needs is time,
Time which we spend together,
Emotions, emotions which are buried deep inside.
And the love , love which is in our hearts, unconditional.
And so there I'm with some hope inside, that someday you'll understand.

Can't they see I don't fit them?
Or do they just wanna prove how kind they are?
Like seriously?
I'm sick and tired of all the in house drama,
I can't fake those smiles anymore.
I can't!
But surely they can,
And will always do that.

I bet they can survive without me,
And it's gonna be hard for me.

But do I have a choice?
No.
The answer is NO.
What if I don't make that choice now,
Would it hurt?
Yes.
Making a choice is truly a choice,
And I have no other but this.

Faking a smile,
Faking a laughter,
Faking a friend,
Faking to be who I can't be.
Guess what, I'm done with them.
Like seriously done.

Can't they just come,
And say,
"We don't need you",
I would readily walk away,
Without complaining.

"BEST FRIEND", they tagged me,
Did they really mean it?
"We TRUST you", they said,
Did they really did?
"We NEED you", they told,
Did they really needed me?
These questions still remain unanswered,
And the funny part is,
They are gonna remain unanswered for forever.

"Stop!", I say to myself,
Stop being who you are not,
Stop being that rude to yourself,
Stop hurting yourself,
Stop.

And that's how she died,
With some unanswered questions in her head,
With that fake smile,
With that untrusted soul,
With the tag of fake Best Friend.
**With her soul which was pure, yet misunderstood.

The knock on the door was the last thing,
And the door was never ever opened again.

The very new chapter had begun,
And now the old was closed forever.
The fantasy,
Wild dreams,
Laughter,
Was it there to be?

Taking a deep breath,
She opened the door,
This time it was a new one,
Smiling she stood,
With Kohl in her eyes,
Hairs perfectly a mess,
With smile to make the world still.

Holding on to her dreams,
With some new beginnings,
A happy heart,
And maybe a new start.

She was strong enough to go on,
To move on with it.

Her wild dreams had a new destination,
Destination which was unknown,
And the road which took her there,
Was a mystery on it's own.

She was a world in herself,
The world which had no boundaries,
Where there was archaic,
Where she was the queen of her very own dreams,
Where the gestures were the best way to interact,
Where happiness was the key to love,
Where being you was important.

So she took her first step forward,
And she was ready to rise high,
And to fall,
And still smile,
Because this time it was she who had decided,
By looking back to the time,
She must smile upon her flaws,
And still rise above all.

And the knock on the door was never heard again,
And now the door was open once and for all.

Remember? Do you?
The verses of the Mahabharata,
Where Draupati begged to let her go,
Where being a wife of the Pandavas made her no different from the unmarried women.
Remember? Do you?
When inside 1 in 10 houses,
A little girl complains to her mum,  
It hurts me in there Maa.
Remember? Do you?
The night,
When a girl lay all naked and battered on the road,
When a friend of her's was as helpless as the lost kid at the course.
Remember? do you?
The nights when people marched with candles in their hands,
The days when we witnessed protests.
Days after days,
Months after months,
Years after years,
Didn't you,
All of you, tried to build us?
The ones who were too small to understand,
The ones who were capable enough to understand,
And the ones who understood what all this actually meant.
From the cheap comments passed
To the guidelines to dress-up,
You filled our heads,
With the thoughts which were never meant to be there.
From all those sad old lines to the new generation trends,
You made us cautious yet scared.
While there were dreams to be accomplished,
And words that were unsaid,
Your efforts to build us,
Made us question our own existence.
With every tantrum and argument we throw,
We have something for you to know, you know,
Caging us won't do us any good,
While letting us live without the not so needed guidelines will do.
Set us free and cage the ones who needs so,
For the day you would realise,
Is merely a *hypothetical concept you would know.

They say I look beautiful, well that is not completely true.
They say I'm sweet, but they haven't seen the other side of me.
They say I'm the buddy to hangout with, but they haven't looked deep inside my eyes which still search the presence.
They say I fit their group, but somewhere I feel lonesome and cry.
They hesitate to say what they feel like , I wish they had known me a bit more.
They say we are lucky to have you, I wish they knew that I was the one who was lucky to have them.




In this big world people will judge you, somewhere they haven't known you that well. Let go all the things which others say and live. Be the one who you are and let the world stare.

I wish letting you go was easy,
But for now that's like the most hardest thing for me,
I wish I could ignore you at times,
But that seems impossible for me to do,
I wish I could know what all you thought,
So that I could spare some of my time with you,
For today to be mine worse day with you,
From screaming to crying, I had done it all,
For me to spend the afternoon was a big deal,
For me to not think about what happened was hurting,
For me to forget what had happened was not so easy.
This time I'm shaken from inside,
I ain't as strong as I look from outside.
I'm weaker than you could think about me.
I act like your words don't hurt,
But the heart knows very single silence is like a scar on this heart.
For you, you may see only the side which is strong,
The side in which I laugh like I don't care.
The side in which I smile.
The side in which I'm a bit emotional.
The side in which I say silly things.
The side in which I make mistakes.
But the other side is completely different,
This side has fears,
It is weaker,
It cries every time it is hurt,
It has pain,
It has seen worse.
But this is me, which shows you something which you are happy to see.

Whenever I look through your eyes,
I see a new world,
The world where there is joy,
The world where there is love.

Whenever I look through your eyes,
I see a spark,
A spark which makes my face glow a bit more,
A spark which lights the world.

Whenever I see through your eyes,
Your eyes say a million things,
Your eyes hold the faith in me,
Your eyes search for the answers,
Your eyes make me stay for a while,
Your eyes bind me to you,
For me this very time is our time,
The time in which the world is still,
Lips are shut,
Heart beats a little faster,
And eyes say more than words.
The stillness has lots and lots of emotions,
These emotions are only understood by us,
These emotions have a meaning,
They have a saying,
They are there to hold us.
Holding on to you might be a bit tough,
But the way you make me stay,
Will keep me going.
I want to go places where it is only us,
So that for once you would be able to see me,
See me in the way I'm,
So that I could see the reflection of mine in your eyes.

When you walk past in silence,
You are ready to face the world with your views.

When you look at sky high,
You are ready to rise high.

When you don't feel the need of others,
You are ready to face what it feels like when you fall.

So here you are with your fears and flaws,
You know what it is,
You know you'll be able to stand up again,
You know you'll fly again even higher.

You have a satisfaction,
You are happy for the way you have grown,
You are sound now,
And you smile, without any regrets.