Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
If you look at here closely,
You can see that
Every now and then
She turns away from her group of friends
Her smile disappears
And she becomes another person for some time;
A sad person
A person who's broken and damaged
And after a few depressing seconds,
She goes back to the group
Sinking and joking around
She almost looks like she's actually happy but
If you look at her closely
You can see how fake her smile really is,
And you can see all the wreckage behind her
Fake Smile....!!💔💔
Wrote on myself this time
She waited for him under the bridge;
The cold, cold night throwing threats her way-
Threats to freeze her to death,
Threats to keep her lover at bay.
But never losing her faith in him,
She kept on awaiting his arrival.
Once or twice had headlights illuminated her,
Upping her hopes and the beating of her heart.
But there was still no sign of him-
Him, the one she'd sworn to love for life.
Then suddenly, and all of a sudden,
She heard the rustling of leaves behind her.
Scared, she took back a step or two,
Afraid it was someone who would hurt her.
But out of the woods came he-
Running, panting, out of breath.
She wanted to know what was wrong;
She needed an explanation.
Instead he took her arm and ****** her on,
Then into a boat nearby.
The still waters, though, were never a good hideout;
Even the most silent of fish could be heard.
Scared, raging, she let him row on,
For she too, wanted to get away-
Away from the town that disapproved,
Away from the thousand pairs of eyes,
Away from the prying neighbours,
And away from the noise and the crowd.
The silence was something she'd learned to appreciate;
But never before had it been so piercing,
Never before had it threatened her life,
Never before had it made itself heard.
And it was then that she heard the gunshot-
Piercing through the silence,
Piercing through the night,
Piercing through the wind,
And piercing her lover's heart.
She screamed, then sensed danger,
And then the second one came.
She gasped and she choked,
And she cursed her lover's enemy.
Then the peace settled in,
When she thought about her lover;
How she'd be entangled in his arms,
Prying on the thousand pairs of eyes from above...
Visibility is a choice,
But it's a choice I make for me
And for my siblings without a voice.

Many years I let my secrets brew,
Bubbling up an intense anxiety.
I trusted little with few.

I can't do that anymore.
I've bared my soul to the world,
And I won't shut that door.

Friends and family confided
In me their own pains--
Their inner world benighted.

Some said I empowered
Them to show themselves:
Seeing how I flowered.

Years I feared being me
Would hurt those I loved.
Instead I set them free.
I shouldnt have done what i did.

Im just a dumb teenager who doesnt know any better.

I hurt a lot of people i love,
and i didnt mean to.

Im sorry.

I didnt just hurt them,
i also hurt myself.

I just dont know how to tell you im sorry.

I hope you can forgive me...
Lie to me.
Tell me that I am everything I never was.
Tell me that I am beautiful and watch me tremble and shake.
Look into my eyes and lie to my face, will you?

Why did I build my home on such
an unsteady foundation
of lies and insecurity?
Time and time again,
I swallow my grief
just to blink back tears and brush the truth away.
Stay where you are and do not come near.
Don't cause a land slide that will surely destroy me.
I will be crushed under the weight of so many lies
weakly supported by kind intentions.

Hide the truth for me if you love me truly.
Cover my eyes and whisper into my ears: you are beautiful.
Protect me with your lies.
Hope surges upward from your core and to the heart. It warms your blood as your heart crushes into itself twice every second and unbelievably, your mind starts to think of a million and one possibilities. Your hand tingles and finally, after what seemed like eons, you think you are feeling hope again. You start suppressing it out of reflex- an unconscious, uncontrollable action. You push it down, right back to the void it came from but its too late and your lips are curving upwards into a gentle smile. You anticipate euphoria -almost can feel it at the top of your fingertips and you finally let yourself believe and hope.

It comes crashing down without warning. For a second, you still smile because your mind could not process the disappointment yet. Then - hurt, sadness, shock - flits through your mind. You still hold on to your hope like a child who refuses to let go of candy. Your smile wavers. But just like grabbing onto handfuls of sand, hope will fall out through your tightly clasped fingers. You realised that your hold on hope is no longer and instead, it is replaced by cold, unforgiving reality.

Like an icy slap to your face, like an unexpected kick to the stomach, like a bite from a dog you have always love- that is how disappointment feels like.
my feelings are so poignant, i don't think i can ever express it adequately in words. but i tried.
i'm not afraid of dying
i'm lying when i say
i don't want to die
after all, but
life is just a cycle
they say
we are born to die

really, i am afraid
of existence
i look forward to the end
i'd never say
death scares me
now read it from the bottom up :)
i want things to be clear
i want them to be black or white
but to my dismay
all things are gray

— The End —