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I thought that I was finally strong enough
to make it without you, but I'm afraid
I've fallen back into that same hole
that you pulled me out of and

I need you

just like I always did
when I felt myself
losing control

where have you gone?

I searched
the familiar places
but I can't find a sign of you anywhere

why did you leave me?

you knew I couldn't make it on my own
just like when I left all those times
I knew you needed me
I guess what I'm really trying to say is,  I miss us
I was cheerful and bright eyed but never saw a future
I've always limited myself in an agonizing suture
I've been lost since birth and I fear that god was mistaken
For I am slipping away and I feel that my life span has been taken
I am suicidal and in search for reassurance
I wish for death and wish for liberation from this earth
I spoke of god but I know of none
I know that once I am gone that it all will be done
Sorry for my rambling, I  have finished my self loathing
Good bye my loves, for now I must be going
And we danced
and we roamed
.... and we found a way to feel alone.

Just for a second,
our guards were down
We embraced the moment
like cranes fly high
      we soared!
Then we...crashed
our wings folded on us.

But we're us
and we dance
and we don't give up on looking up
at what makes us want to love.
#love #us and #papercranes
How many lines of poetry I've thrown away.

The amount of hearts broken from masquerades.

The tears I've cried over silly boys.

The days I spend being sad.

The I love you's

To the silent words I never say.

How many great in depth things I've let go to waste?
Hopeless nights of our lungs giving out. Last July, you promised this would all stop.

But here I am. Grasping the bed sheets wondering where you are? Do you want to be with me?

When you're alone you call me and kiss my face. I give in again.

But tonight is different the despair had won this race of lies. I'm tired of competing when I'm never gonna qualify.
 Dec 2016 Angelique gamble
Ally
Words could be a dangerous thing.
Once they are said, they can’t be forgotten.
But what’s more even dangerous is the idea of ‘you’
Once, you felt home but soon became storm.

Love stories could be a wonderful thing.
Once they are read, they can fascinate us.
But our story wasn’t perfect as everyone would expect,
It narrates how you put me into dark abyss of loneliness.

Songs could be a powerful magic.
Once they are heard, they give meaning to everything.
Yet our song consists of sad melody and unsaid words,
It is pleasant until it drowns you.

And like a photograph that captures everything,
That is supposed to be kept on your pocket.
But our photograph isn’t worth to keep
I’d rather let it carried by flood along with your memories.
120816 //  10:30PM
Everything we consider as beautiful could be destroyed by the wrong people in our life.
there are no more remnants
of him here.
no more
pictures
notes          shirts
   gifts       scents
reminders
traces

of him here.
he exists only in
my memories
and even those
are starting to fade.
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