i'm trying to think through the static
and my eyes don't focus right
but i was wondering
what it meant to feel hungry

or just tell someone how i feel

i
can't
remember
the last
time
i was
honest
about
how i
felt

and
i
don't
...
know

it's been
...
a while
...

hello, hello?

my thoughts resound in my head

I learnt today
that if you were to traverse
the depths of the ocean
the building pressure
would push all breath from your lungs
and your blood would burst
with the heaviness of it all
oh but for you, darling
for the azure currents in your eyes
i would sink

Yesterday,
I Googled your name,
I searched under “image”,
Nothing came….
I dialed your phone,
It made me nervous,
A strange voice said it was “out of service”,
Your room is empty,
So is your chair,
I just can’t find you anywhere,
I looked in the mirror,
What else could I do?
Something familiar,
I look like you,
Sometimes your children are all that is left,
If I stare to long,
I get upset,
It’s only me,
10 years you’re gone,
Oh how I miss you, mom
©B L Costello 2017

Why do I choose to write when I'm sad?
What about when I'm over the moon happy?
When I'm crying on the floor nothing but sobs reach my mouth.
I reach for a pen
But,
When I'm happy.
I inhale it.
Believing not another day will be this joyous

Here  I am again. Sorrow in my heart.
Nothing but sadness wiped on my courages face.
Every time I'm sad it's a different kind of pain.
But the pen in my hand always stays.

i'm so ******* tired
let me sleep
instead i cry until my head's exploding
i scream until my voice is gone
i quake uncontrollably
my mind is going a million miles an hour
gasping for air
and failing
i try to call for help
but i'm alone in this place
i'm having a nervous breakdown
please make it stop

Soaring above the field
the pidgeon saw the world revealed
but by its own flight it was betrayed
for that pidgeon was made of clay

Floating like a summer's cloud
my love for her was high and proud
yet my heart was chipped one day
for my heart was made of clay

Beauty can't always be entrusted
to the potters hand
so build your beauty from something
that can withstand
more than the lovers arrow
at least
til the morrow