you don't exist when
my eyes are open
you don't exist when
my blood's not poisoned
when my soul's at peace
when my gut is full
and when I'm in company

So you exist most of the time
dear muse

i watched you slipped away
slowly taken away by time
the morning
you died in my arms
i didn’t know i could die
a million times

i breathed you in
and filled my lungs
with every ash of you
inhaling every smoke of you
they say i’ll get sick
they say i’ll die
of too much cigarettes
but they didn’t know
i’ll die if i breathed you out





—you, my cigarette

come to me sad soul
i do not promise healing
i do not promise saving
just a temporary shelter
for your temporary sadness
come to me sad soul
together we are alone
together let’s feed our starving souls
together in this temporary bliss

tell me, how many
of your poems were about me
if those flowers that bloom
and colors your white paper
represents our happy memories
or if those gray clouds and rains
and hurricanes in your canvass
were our breaking points
tell me, those love poems
those hate poems, those drunk poems
those empty, those pleading
those happy, those waiting
tell me, how many
how many of your poems “were” about me?

Sweet angel, tell me everything.
I’m not afraid of anything.
Let your worst troubles speak aloud.
You won’t transform to a dark cloud.

Sweet angel, I’ve made space for you,
A safe place where you can be true.
My love has ears for what you say.
Your troubles won’t scare me away.

Sweet angel, we’re beyond compare,
But we’re more than a love affair.
The two of us want something real.
Stressful days are part of the deal.

Sweet angel, we’ve laughs and kissing.
There’s no fear our joy’s gone missing.
It doesn’t matter what you share;
It’s sharing that proves love is there.

Sweet angel, my love ain’t too proud.
A little sadness is allowed.
Don’t let your down times change to fear.
When those times come I will be here.

She was beautiful as the sunset

But her soul was darker than the night

She was so easy to smile
But her smile was full of deceit

I thought she was a friend from when I first saw her,

She was charming and sweet and very beautiful,

Soon we became close and I would say even inseparable,

But in beneath the beauty, she was just a facade,

Like an illusion she was hypnotic,

Her mannerism was full of elegance,

Deep down she was an earth filled with secrets,

Her only flaw, she was a beautiful liar,

And my only flaw was I believed her,

I thought our friendship was a garden of dandelions,

Dreamy and aloof from the world,

Later i realised it was just a garden with weeds that were toxic,

With every secret I shared, I thought I was watering a beautiful garden,

But then later, she would come to prune and plant seeds of deceit,

Everytime I let her into my soul, everytime she would intoxicate me with lies,

I thought we would be forever, the kind of friendship to pass onto generations to come,

This was until I found out she had been feeding me lies and lies,

Everything about her was based on a lie,

From her gentle smile to her graceful walks,

From her fake loyalty to her easy charm,

She indeed was beautiful to the eye,

But all that beauty was nothing because her heart was full of illusion

I bet herself, she believed in her lies that she carried them around with such ease,

She was a beautiful liar and I once believed her,

I once was hypnotised by her, but now I know better,

The beautiful girl was just but a beautiful liar