you ask me why I wear concealing clothes
the truth is that I am trying to cover up the paint that you have forced upon me
People have sewn in labels and stereotypes into my skin
it's a constant struggle as I try to rip out the stitching
the second it is gone more is put in place…
people think that its ok to deadname and misgender me
I'll tell you “its fine! I know its hard to get used to it, don't worry!”
but it's not fine, not at all
I am not some practice dummy you can use to practice what respect is and isn't
I am a human just like you, but I am not like you at all
you people who use being trans and nonbinary as a joke
you people who treat trans people as if we are mentally ill
you people who think its ok to disrespect what and who we are
you people who debate if we should be allowed to exist...
I am told to “just accept who I am”
those people don't get that I do, they are the ones who don't
I am here
I am real
and I am not you

A thousand thoughts inside my head, half of them are about what people said
words from people that bullied me, but I’ll bottle it up with my anxiety
I try to breathe, but I just choke on my heart which has been broke
people deflate me to lift them up because they think I'm not enough.
people hate me because of my gender, I promise you I'm not a trender
people think of me as a she that's gay, but the truth is I am a they
Straighten up and get on track
give me my pronouns, I want them back
I’ll express how I feel with more than my voice
you all need to know, my gender was not a choice
I’ve been told that I'm a regret
I wish that I could forget these words that have been said to me
I beg you, please let me free

I want to sleep with you

Not in a ****** way, it doesn’t even have to be in a literal way

In a way, I want to be your bed. That one place that is just for you

I want to be what you come home to for comfort, for safety

In another way, I just want to be closer to you

To be so intimate and trusted by you that I’m allowed to be by you even in your most vulnerable state

I’ll be your protection and you can be my comfort and home

So please, won’t you sleep with me?

***** bonk
my awakeness went thonk
my hands are cold
my dumbassery is becoming increasingly bold
can't focus on art
avoiding thoughts of a human becomes increasingly hard
just wanna rest in their arms