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Remus Johnson Dec 2020
I wake up
correction, you wake me up
like an alarm clock you yank me out of a state of slumber
but unlike an alarm, I don’t mind the sudden intrusion
just this once, I won’t hit snooze
I open my eyes
it’s so bright
you are so bright
I’m tired but you keep me aware, awake
your existence is like a revelation
how can that be?
you are just an alarm
but then again I have never met an alarm
or met someone like you
you feel warm
and safe

this is nice

and then I wake up
Remus Johnson Dec 2020
***** bonk
my awakeness went thonk
my hands are cold
my dumbassery is becoming increasingly bold
can't focus on art
avoiding thoughts of a human becomes increasingly hard
just wanna rest in their arms
Remus Johnson Nov 2020
I want to sleep with you

Not in a ****** way, it doesn’t even have to be in a literal way

In a way, I want to be your bed. That one place that is just for you

I want to be what you come home to for comfort, for safety

In another way, I just want to be closer to you

To be so intimate and trusted by you that I’m allowed to be by you even in your most vulnerable state

I’ll be your protection and you can be my comfort and home

So please, won’t you sleep with me?
Remus Johnson Nov 2020
I think being raised to follow a god stunted my understanding of love
I had never felt a connection to any god but I was told that I loved him above all else
That he was my rock, my anchor, the one to guide me
They were so wrong.
It’s intense and I can’t seem to ignore it
I feel strange calling it love, I don’t know if that’s what to call it
I know they make me feel so much, all at once
It's scary, and intense
But I’m excited to see what happens
I decided to return after two years... well, nothing like yearning and religious trauma to start anew.
Remus Johnson Dec 2018
A thousand thoughts inside my head, half of them are about what people said
words from people that bullied me, but I’ll bottle it up with my anxiety
I try to breathe, but I just choke on my heart which has been broke
people deflate me to lift them up because they think I'm not enough.
people hate me because of my gender, I promise you I'm not a trender
people think of me as a she that's gay, but the truth is I am a they
Straighten up and get on track
give me my pronouns, I want them back
I’ll express how I feel with more than my voice
you all need to know, my gender was not a choice
I’ve been told that I'm a regret
I wish that I could forget these words that have been said to me
I beg you, please let me free
Remus Johnson Dec 2018
you ask me why I wear concealing clothes
the truth is that I am trying to cover up the paint that you have forced upon me
People have sewn in labels and stereotypes into my skin
it's a constant struggle as I try to rip out the stitching
the second it is gone more is put in place…
people think that its ok to deadname and misgender me
I'll tell you “its fine! I know its hard to get used to it, don't worry!”
but it's not fine, not at all
I am not some practice dummy you can use to practice what respect is and isn't
I am a human just like you, but I am not like you at all
you people who use being trans and nonbinary as a joke
you people who treat trans people as if we are mentally ill
you people who think its ok to disrespect what and who we are
you people who debate if we should be allowed to exist...
I am told to “just accept who I am”
those people don't get that I do, they are the ones who don't
I am here
I am real
and I am not you
Hi, this is my first poem here, I hope you enjoy! It is about the struggles of being trans in such I cis-normative world. This is an angry poem, but it’s not angry towards everyone. It’s only only addressing my anger to people who are like what the poem describes. I hope you all have a great day!

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