Amtul Hajra

Amtul Hajra Mar 2019

Timid
And scared.
There i lie.
I can't breathe,
Nor can i tell you why.
Im gasping for oxygen,
Like there's nothing more
I could lose.
I'm feeling numb again;
Possibly for the 100th time.
I endure a rush
In my veins,
The poison
Of anxiety running through.
I lay right there,
Till i pass out;
With the help of this
Only theory:
That "It was just a dream."
A Bad Dream.

#poetry #darkpoetry #dark #deep #sad #baddreams #dreams #anxiety

Amtul Hajra Feb 2019

Virago; warrior

Heavy rain and thunder on a dark night.

I have issues.
I loved heavy rain,
I loved the thunder.
I loved a dark peaceful night.

But not anymore.

you ask me why,
Do i not prefer the black sky?
Or am i scared
Of the clamours
The thunders make?

I give no reply.
But a thousand of them
Are floating around my head
This time.

I was never afraid
Nor petrified.

I am only reluctant,
To the aftermath.

The aftermath:
The only thing
That terrifies me.
Cause the demons
Catch hold of me,
And here i am
Letting my words flee.

They devour;
My cast off
Pieces.

Every inch of me,
Is still breathing.

Every promise i made,
Every chance i take.
Gasping for air,
In awe;
At every warfare.

I'm not afraid,
I never was.

I'm the
Delicate
Virago.
Well built enough,
But partial.

#war #warrior #strong #woman #feminist #sad #feelings #darkpoetry #poetry

Amtul Hajra Feb 2019

Absurd memories

If things went her way,
It could tear everything apart.
So she listens to you
Not to ruin things about.
Nothing ever goes the right way;
Even if she wants it to be.
May it be love,
Or the treaty of peace.
You as you;
Is all she wants.
She'll be her,
When you forget your frown.
Happy,
She wants you.
"Please be" she pleads.
Time and again;
A spark is sure to be seen,
She's afraid for
Any fire to appeal.
If it does,
"It'll be the last of us you know."
The aftermath,
No you.
No me.
Hate entangled;
What love tangled,
Our souls are finally free.
All the time we acted like wanna be's,
And i was the only one that couldn't see.
Was 'fame' all you wanted in return of me?
They used to call us "perfectly paired",
Isn't it funny?
But,
How are you going to pretend that you never knew me?

#memories #sad #breakup #love #fame #forgotten #dark #deep #feelings #her

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