Fear is this burning
Paralyzing view of
Cosmic what ifs
Blinding me from out there between the bars
And every inch of my skin is ablaze with
The sensation that no stronger cage
Or more godlike material
Was ever built
To keep me and them
Apart
And there is this nagging thought
That won't ever leave my head
And all I'm left with
Inside this lonely cage
Is the tan lines I got
From always being scared.

This girl I used to know
Is stuck to my ceiling
A miracle of chemistry
Never mind gravity
This strange feeling
That got stuck there and
Died on a school Tuesday
And I remember how the final words
That tasted those soft lips
Sounded like the snap-crackle-crunch of
My spine breaking
How every Wednesday since then is
Bring yourself to work
And I go as a better version of myself
But I always get caught
Somehow
And now that I'm lost out here in the world
It happens somewhere inside my head
And I'd dig it out with a spoon
If only I knew how
And I miss this entire world we had
The quirky things that are no longer there
Like the demolished wood and plastic arcade
The sweet smell of Dr. Peppers and sweaty pennies
Everything feels unreal now
A documentary without an audience
Shot from a million miles away
Beauty is locked behind bulletproof glass
And everything is displayed for us to "touch"
But all we ever get to do is "see"
A cold existence
Without texture
A smudge of something that once was
Splinters and cuts if you get too close
And happiness is stuck in detention
Until you divide yourself with infinity
And pre-order the game of life
Twice
And I remember how
When two people launch their kites
And the storm comes
The strings always find a way to tangle
Until one side snaps
And breaks free of the other
I remember how a penny has two sides
And a world without broken hearts
Is a world without hearts at all
But I miss the games we played
And there's this awkward silence
Like when a game we shared ends
And we both say we're out of pennies;
And one of us lies.

When grownups say
"There is no such thing as magic"
They have forgotten some
Mighty important things
Like
A Ben & Jerry's
Chocolate Fudge Brownie
That you share with friends
Or moments of awe
Or a moment of zen
Or kissing a girl
(Even though she got cooties)
And then she smiles
And giggles
As she kisses you back

Hitchhiker
My passenger seat
Her eyes tear up as
She talks about
Placebo happiness
And the
Digital pineapples
She never wanted
As a girl
About how the world really
Should have been a square
Then nobody'd ever fall off
And more people could care
About how nothing ever makes sense
Up here
And that she doesn't believe in
Calling a piece of dirt
A home
And how in my heart I feel that
She's perfectly
Batshit crazy
And that she could be the one
How everything seems okay
Every time she breathes out
And
In
And I'm stunned
As she gives me a look so
Delicate it shatters like
Glass against industrial
Cold tempered
Steel
And the moment she says
"Thanks for the ride, But I can't stay"
This fifty mile fairytale of ours just
Ends.

Seagulls squeak and
As thunderclaps salute the laws of physics
I imagine they could speak
Sensory inputs of fresh strawberries become
A raging flood of summer sweetness that
Fuses with the hot electrified air
And I'm daydreaming that
Above this veil of angry clouds
Roams unseen ancient eyes
With tears braver than
What is boundless
Stronger and brighter than even
Endless darkness
They lie in wait
Their love
Their warmth
Bursting forth
Wombs of rainbows
And all that is precious
Yet still untold
Waiting to kiss the atoms of your skin
And once again
Paint your summer smile
Blink and you might forget that
They were you
Before you were even born
Sunset
Sunrise
Watch them never skip a beat
Wake up.
Kick ***.
Repeat.