The impurity of my soul is what attracts the dredges  of the earth to me

The false,  the pretentious, the idle, the egotistical
They all hide behind a slight swagger and yet a frown of insecurity

They creep in with their words
and disappear leaving behind the sediment of their pungent contamination

But why me?

Am i only the company I keep?

Am I more than this delicate mystique?

Or do I hide behind the name sake  of succubus and lover in fear of what's underneath

I dare say ........it may be to late for me

I'm made of all;
The books I've ever read
Poems I've ever written
Faces who have smiled at me
Hugs that have wrapped around me
Caresses that have graced my inner thigh
Countries & continents my feet have touched
The lovers as we simultaneously reach ecstasy within
Lonely nights shedding tear drops
Nights gazing black skies moon & stars
Children falling asleep to my heartbeat
Animals whose soul was found through reflective eye stares
Conversations spoken in French, Spanish, Italian, Xhosa, Afrikaans, Norwegian, German
Years of ******-, cognitive-, dialectical-, art-, drama-, music-, mindfulness-, trauma-, psychiatry-; therapies
The drinks & drugs & mind altering substances dispersing my mind
In all I'm made of;
Love
Lust
Greed
Fear
Joy
Freedom
Longing
Dreams
Despair
Sadne­ss
Anger
Frustrations
Happiness
Anxieties
Insecurities....

In all I'm made of;

A soul; securely contained within a body of battled scars;
over;
pain & triumphs, losses & gains, rejections & acceptances, dishonours & accolades...

With the hope; she too, can live life through.

© Sia Jane

I learn more about the importance of guarding my heart every time I open it. I am far too naive and hopeful, I love too easily and I am too quick to believe things people say to me. I see the best in people and even though I allow myself to see people’s true colors, I become blind to how dark the shades get. I am the grand optimist, because I lay on the dirt in the dark where people leave me and all I can look at is the stars. I am tired of being used to fill a void, because I am whole. I am a full moon, and every man I encounter is my phase; slowly, piece by piece I disappear, until I enclose entirely into the shadows. Today is another new moon.