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Oct 2020 · 198
That day.
Amanda Goodman Oct 2020
The sky was gray on that day.
The wind cut into my cheeks, leaving a rosy tint.
Tears welled in my eyes,
From the wind? From the words you said?
Who knows.

As you spoke, I felt you reach into my chest,
And pull out my heart.
You crumbled it in your hand.
But you apologized, so it’s okay,
Right?

As you left, I wanted to reach into your chest too,
And pull out your heart,
And crumble it in my hands,
But I couldn’t move, I was numb.
All I felt was static.

You turned back and said
You didn’t mean it,
But your action spoke louder.
Jun 2020 · 157
White Noise.
Amanda Goodman Jun 2020
The darkness has overcome me.
I turn all of the lights off,
Pull the blankets over me.

The warmness of my blankets
Can’t comfort me enough though.
The sun has fallen down,
Followed by my tears.

No one can help me except myself,
But I’m not much help.
I can hear the static of the TV.
My Dad’s still awake.

Cry quieter.
If my dad hears me,
He’ll ask what’s wrong,
And I’m not good at expressing my feelings.

I close my eyes,
Soon I fall into full darkness.
Apr 2020 · 145
uncertainty kills
Amanda Goodman Apr 2020
i love you,
but in hiding.

you dont know it yet,
and i wonder if i should tell you.

maybe you feel the same way,
maybe you dont.

the uncertainty kills me.
Mar 2020 · 330
your breath.
Amanda Goodman Mar 2020
Your lungs breathe fire
As mine blow air to extinguish you.

Your breath escapes and
I run to catch it
But you grab on to me.

I want to help you
But you won’t let me.
Mar 2020 · 177
i miss the old me.
Amanda Goodman Mar 2020
the person i was last year
is not the person i am today.
you took that person from me.

that day you used your words
to convince me to let you put your hands on me.
you said you would go find some else.

you ripped me from myself.
ill never get her back.
Mar 2020 · 754
my home.
Amanda Goodman Mar 2020
the sea breeze flushes your face red.
i wait for you to reach out for my hand.
but you dont.
you stare out to the sea, blue as your eyes.

the wind whips my face and
a tear falls down.
you notice and wipe it away and hold my face for a second.
i think youre going to kiss me.
but you dont.

i stare at you as you walk through the sand to the ocean.
you walk with purpose
and i love that.

you pick up a shell and tell me it reminds you of me.
i ask why.
you say its perfect.
i blush, blaming it on the seabreeze

the breeze starts to hurt.
you put your arm around me
and as our eyes meet
you finally kiss me.

in that moment,
you are my home.
Mar 2020 · 138
untitled
Amanda Goodman Mar 2020
you took apart of me with you that day you left me. the day you left me to walk back to my room crying. the day you left me to delete every memory i had of you. you took my happiness. you took my joy. you took my confidence. you made me feel small, useless, disgusting. i tried to make you feel safe. you didnt care. you cared about yourself and only yourself.

now im left to pick up to pieces of my heart by myself. people try to help, but because of you, i push them away. you made me lose my trust in everyone.
Mar 2020 · 391
dont walk away.
Amanda Goodman Mar 2020
you tore me apart
when you left that day.

i watched you walk away
and it stung just as much as
your words.

i wanted you to turn back
and tell me you were kidding
and that you still
loved me

but you didnt,
you kept walking
and i never saw you again.

today
i have the same pain
i felt the day
you walked away.
Mar 2020 · 120
the moon
Amanda Goodman Mar 2020
you make me happy.
you hold me when i'm sad,
smile with me when i'm happy,
care about me when i need you.

you care about me.
you're the first to do that,
thank you.

i will give you everything i have,
the world if i can,
if not, the moon.
you always told me you loved the moon.

i love you to the moon and back.
Mar 2020 · 109
i repent you
Amanda Goodman Mar 2020
i gave you all i had.
my time. my love. my effort.

all you had to give me was worry.
worry that i wasn't enough.

i repent you now.
you broke me.
no one will be able to fix me.

maybe one day i'll fix myself.
until then,
i am
broken.
Mar 2020 · 102
untitled
Amanda Goodman Mar 2020
The sea breeze reflects our old memories.
I remember your hand in mine as it slowly becomes numb.
I miss your hand warming mine.

The feelings of the sand and shells under my feet
Brings me back to a place of solitude.
Our body’s intertwined in the seaweed,
I miss your solitude.

The refreshing feeling of the warm water against my cold skin
Reminds me of our joy,
Our laughing faces.
I miss the joy that you brought me.

The sound of the seagulls rings your screaming in my head.
When you would scream that i wasn’t enough,
Then say you loved me.
I miss your “i love yous”

The waves crashing makes me reminisce on times
Where you crashed beers to your lips
And threw that one bottle at me and screamed
Your apology.
I miss your voice.

The laughter of children makes me think of the
Times you laughed in my face
When i told you i wanted to live my life with you.
I miss your laugh.

I miss you.

— The End —